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AIBU?

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Original poster

Another Christmas dinner one ...

149 replies

BlueskiesLonglies · 01/12/2018 16:14

So it's been arranged for months that my DH and I are hosting Christmas dinner for my parents and brother and family. PILs are overseas and my husband has no siblings locally, so it's been this way for a looooong time. We are very traditional in the sense we always have turkey for Christmas dinner, and for the last eight years, we have hosted Christmas and had traditional turkey. I enjoy this, we provide everything and always have a great day.

My DM has invited us round for dinner on Boxing Day. This is very unusual. To put it into context I have been married for ten years with two kids and we have NEVER been invited over for a meal - we never really get invited for any reason. They live about a twenty minute drive from us in a rural location, so we wouldn't be passing for any reason and would have to go out our way to visit - which we would if we were invited. My parents both work full time so their time off is limited which hasn't helped. They don't like people turning up uninvited. My DH and I also work full time, kids at school and extra curricular activities so wouldn't just be passing their house for any reason as it's very out the way. I think part of the reason we have never been invited is because my DM does not like hosting, does not cook and doesn't have a table to sit at in her house.

I have welcomed this invite and really looking forward to it - however my mum has said she's making a turkey dinner. My DH is put out because this is what we have planned to make on Christmas Day, as we have done every year. WIBU to say we don't want this as we planned to make it on Christmas Day and don't want the same dinner twice ? Should I suck it up and be grateful for a rare (never before happened) invite for a meal ?

My worries are if I say that we don't want turkey my mum will rescind the invitation, or take it very personally. I suggested to my husband we make a beef or ham, but he says it's traditional for turkey on Christmas Day and why should we change what we were planning to make ?

I know this seems petty but it's nagging me !! Thanks for any wise words!

OP posts:
Onestep2 · 01/12/2018 16:36

I generally eat turkey for about a week after Christmas as there is always leftovers. 😂😂

Just go. Two Christmas dinners is better than one.

Original poster
BlueskiesLonglies · 01/12/2018 16:37

Comethefuckon, I wish I had said that !! I was so surprised at getting an invite I just said oh that sounds great!!

OP posts:
Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 01/12/2018 16:38

Blueskies honestly, I don't think she has been rude not to consider what you might be having, it's obviously such a big deal to her I think it's just gone over her head ?
It might not be ideal for you but it's not worth hurting her surely?

Aridane · 01/12/2018 16:40

WTF? Suck it up!

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 01/12/2018 16:41

Oh and as an aside, don't change your plans.
We did this one year when visiting mil and ended up with no Christmas dinner at all that year.
I'm still bitter Grin

theWarOnPeace · 01/12/2018 16:42

Having two Christmas dinners in a row and you’re moaning.... right. Listen, I get that it’s weird she NEVER invited you over previously, but the dinner itself is something you really can’t complain about. And twenty minutes drive to your parents for a dinner - unless you’ve accidently left off some numbers, is nothing!

WendyWoofer · 01/12/2018 16:43

So you'll be having turkey dinner two consecutive days? I very often make twice as much dinner on Sunday so we have another dinner on Monday. I can't see your problem tbh

MrsGarethSouthgate · 01/12/2018 16:44

If your hosting of a Christmas Day turkey dinner for the past 8 years has included your parents then it's fair to say they will already be expecting you to cook turkey on this 9th occasion.

They are obviously happy to have it two days running, so just enjoy the invitation and treat the food as being of secondary importance to that.

hadenough · 01/12/2018 16:44

This has to be one of the most ridiculous threads I've ever read.

I wouldn't even think this to be an issue at all. You cook what you want to cook on Christmas Day (turkey, clearly) and then eat what your DM chooses to cook on Boxing Day (which apparently will be turkey too). I don't see the issue.

I don't actually understand the fuss about having a turkey on Christmas Day, but neither do I understand the fuss about eating the same thing on two days. Just enjoy the company and the day - Christmas is about more than a turkey!

InfiniteVariety · 01/12/2018 16:45

my DM does not like hosting, does not cook

Bearing in mind the above, have you considered that it might turn out to be inedible so you won't end up eating turkey twice anyway?!?! Grin

IceniSky · 01/12/2018 16:46

Christ on a bike, eat two turkey dinners and be grateful you are able to. This isn't something you need to over think.

Original poster
BlueskiesLonglies · 01/12/2018 16:46

Good point infinitevariety !! I think it will be marks and Spencer's prepared food so am hoping it will be easy and straightforward!

OP posts:
Ladymacmuff · 01/12/2018 16:46

I don't get it - why can't you eat the same thing two days in a row? You don't have to change your Christmas Day plans at all!!

Your DM is finally making an effort and you say you are looking forward to it. Just go and eat what she gives you, surely? I'd have to say, if your DM can't cook this is one of the safest options - it's just a roast!

Original poster
BlueskiesLonglies · 01/12/2018 16:48

It does seem like a silly, and of course we can eat the same food two days running. Sometimes little things can irk us, no ??

OP posts:
starandson · 01/12/2018 16:48

Christmas is the only time I eat turkey, 2 days in a row wouldn’t bother me! Go and enjoy!

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 01/12/2018 16:48

Who really wants to eat TWO Christmas dinners? One is more than enough.

This place is so fucking fickle at times.

InfiniteVariety · 01/12/2018 16:49

Ladymacmuff You'd think so but apparently A&E departments tend to have an influx of people on Christmas Day afternoon who are ill after eating undercooked turkey!!

kateandme · 01/12/2018 16:50

just see it as two roast dinners!yum yum.keep with your turkey dinner.the atmosphere and whole feeling around you lovely known xmas dinner will be totally different and still as good in your home on xmas day with all the xmas time feeling around it.
ur mums on boxing day will be different in its own way.
be excited let her know that great of her.also though that youll be having the turkey too as its on order.
I think what she has done and how its feeling to you is making the dinner slightly tainted.but its just turkey twice.try and get passed what she has done and the unexpected feeling towards it. I get itits a bit out of the blue.but itl be ok.
it means you can make you own turkey into more lovely dishes like currys etc now too and still have it as a fresh roast the next day at your mums.
don't change your plans.make you day exactly as it is.seriously it will be fine.

Littleheart5 · 01/12/2018 16:50

Lord, your poor mother!
She obviously doesn’t like to host or cook but is going to the effort this year, probably to repay all your hospitality over the years, and you’re genuinely worried you will have to eat turkey twice and feeling “miffed” about it?!?
Your husband sounds extremely precious. She knows that you all eat turkey so probably seems like a safe option for her. On the basis of what you’re said she is going to what for her must be stressful and a big effort. Suck it up and put a smile on, and tell your husband to grow up!

Ladymacmuff · 01/12/2018 16:50

Yes, little things are frequently irksome, but you can decide to let it pass and look at the positives! Don't let it spoil your Christmas and definitely don't change your menu because that will make it a big thing and extremely irksome!!

HollowTalk · 01/12/2018 16:51

I love how people say, "Your hosts..." when it's the OP's mother.

I'd just call and say, "You know I'm cooking turkey on Christmas Day. I've already paid for it. Are you okay with having the same dinner on Boxing Day? I'm a bit worried it'll be boring to do that."

Or could she do it on New Year's Day instead?

yumyumpoppycat · 01/12/2018 16:52

Maybe your mum is feeling like she would like to give making christmas dinner a try and it is less pressure for her to do it on boxing day, maybe christmas day is now your thing so she doesn't want to step on your toes, maybe she is totally lacking in imagination for things to cook at christmas!

I get why you are a bit miffed though.

Ladymacmuff · 01/12/2018 16:52

Infinitevariety GrinGrin** well, I hadn't thought of it like that - let's pray for a burnt offering, which may be disgusting but won't make Op ill!

diddl · 01/12/2018 16:53

So your parents are coming to you on Christmas Day & you're doing turkey & you mum has invited you to theirs on Boxing Day for the same dinner?

Seems odd to me.

Why not host on Christmas Day?

She's your mum though-surely you can talk to her-suggest something different/easier?

MrsJane · 01/12/2018 16:54

Oh for goodness sake!

Both parents divorced here, we have 4 Christmas dinners in a row! We would never demand a different dinner! We eat it, enjoy it and are grateful!

Your DH sounds like he's just being difficult. Might be a reason why you've never been invited for dinner before maybe...

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