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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH annoyed I bought 1yo DD a coat

113 replies

Wingingthis · 01/12/2018 12:40

I picked up DD a coat I saw in the sale last week.
DH annoyed that he didn’t get a say, said he never gets to choose what she wears (told him just to buy stuff no problem he just never does) and in the future wants me to run everything by him before I buy it for her.

AIBU that this is ridiculous?!

OP posts:
Blanchedupetitpois · 01/12/2018 12:41

He’s being stupid. He could buy her things if it means that much to him!

hidinginthenightgarden · 01/12/2018 12:43

ridiculous! By the time you told him and went back it would be gone! I occasionally text pictures if it is expensive or I am not sure. That's just to get his opinion though.

theworldistoosmall · 01/12/2018 12:45

Does he consult you about every single little thing he buys for himself or others? I doubt it.
Tell him when he does then you will do the same. Until then if he wants to buy dd something he knows where the stores are.
That she needed a coat and of course no one is going to wait whilst there’s a consultation, when in the meantime she’s feeling cold without a coat.

Aquamarine1029 · 01/12/2018 12:46

Does your husband sniff glue all the time or just this once?

AssassinatedBeauty · 01/12/2018 12:47

Of course he's being utterly ridiculous. How could you possibly run everything by him, and why would you even need to?

You're quite right that he can similarly buy her things if he knows she needs something and he sees something suitable. Or express his opinion if you're shopping together. Any else is not necessary.

Original poster
Wingingthis · 01/12/2018 12:56

Aquamarine 😂 thank you for making me laugh & get me out of this s* mood!!

And yes totally agree. If he was there and said he didn’t like it of course I wouldn’t buy it. But equally if he picked her something up when he was out and I didn’t like it then that’s fine, he chose it!

OP posts:
IStandWithPosie · 01/12/2018 12:58

Simple solution. He takes on responsibility for ALL DD purchases. See how he feels having to run them all past you.

BobTheDuvet · 01/12/2018 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Wingingthis · 01/12/2018 13:00

I have suggested that! Said Im going to write a list tonight of things she needs (shes just gone up a clothes size) and I need them all ordered & sorted by the end of the weekend. And will do the same when she goes up to the next size. Don’t think he’ll enjoy it then!

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 01/12/2018 13:00

He thinks there should be a round table meeting before buying every piece of clothing for every childConfused. Hopefully you just have the one or it could be a new full time occupation for you both Grin. How utterly ridiculous. I would just tell him it’s not happening.

TwistedStitch · 01/12/2018 13:00

Is he usually such a control freak?

bastardkitty · 01/12/2018 13:01

I wouldn't play daft games with him. Just tell him not to be so ridiculous.

llangennith · 01/12/2018 13:04

As bastardkitty says

Fridaydreamer · 01/12/2018 13:06

Wow. I’m just ordering flooring for our kitchen. I asked DH what colour he thought we should hand and he just said “you choose” Grin Honestly he trusts my choices and doesn’t feel the need to check them. If I had form for bad choices then maybe different but if that was the case I’d tell him to sort it himself. It does not take two adults to choose a child’s coat FFS.

Original poster
Wingingthis · 01/12/2018 13:07

Okay yeah on second thoughts your right about playing games. I’ll try and be the actual adult here and just say it’s ridiculous!

OP posts:
MaverickSnoopy · 01/12/2018 13:07

Is your DD an only? He's being ridiculous.

We have 3 DC. My DH cannot express his relief that I organise most of their clothes.

Original poster
Wingingthis · 01/12/2018 13:07

You’re*

OP posts:
VictoryOrValhalla · 01/12/2018 13:07

Do it Op!

Original poster
Wingingthis · 01/12/2018 13:08

Yes she’s our first but we would like more one day

OP posts:
TimeIhadaNameChange · 01/12/2018 13:11

I'd take him at his word. Next time you're at the supermarket ring him every five minutes regarding something for your daughter.

Seaweed42 · 01/12/2018 13:18

This is about feeling in control in his life. I wouldn't be surprised if something happened at work this week that made him feel a lack of control or a lack of his input being recognised. So, yeah, he takes it home and tries to implement control there.

Original poster
Wingingthis · 01/12/2018 13:27

Seaweeed that’s really interesting that you say that, I know something of that nature happened on Monday at work which he told me about!

OP posts:
Topseyt · 01/12/2018 13:29

He is being an arse. Tell him so and ignore his stupid sulks.

If he wants to buy stuff for DD then he is just as capable as you are of going to the shops and doing it. I'd be telling him that too. I bet he still never gets around to it.

AnoukSpirit · 01/12/2018 13:30

in the future wants me to run everything by him before I buy it for her.

Sounds like somebody who doesn't actually give a shit what she's wearing but just wants a way to control your decision making and have power over you by demanding you run everything past him first.

If he backs down and listens when you tell him he's being ridiculous, great. Lesson learned, move on.

If he doesn't, or kicks off, or tells you you're being unreasonable or overreacting or accuses you of being controlling by refusing to let him control your decisions, then you have a bigger problem here.

formerbabe · 01/12/2018 13:31

How pathetic. It's never once accrued to me to ask my oh about buying stuff for the kids. He'd think I'd gone mad if I asked his opinion before buying our dd a coat!