To be so annoyed with 'MIL'?

[PurpleRose01]

I'd like some other views on this, as I freely admit to not always keeping things in proportion.

DP's brother lives in London, but always comes up for Christmas. This year, his gf is coming up between Christmas and New Year. 'MIL' has announced that she will be hosting a buffet for family while she is up. Invited are me, DP, DP's cousin and her husband and DP's aunt.

My mum moved down to the town we live in back in 2016. She now lives about a 20min walk from us and 'MIL'. No mention of her being invited. Now, for many years it was mum and me against the world so I do take things to heart on her behalf. She might not even want to come along, but it's the fact she hasn't even been invited. AIBU to be annoyed?

Unless there’s a huge backstory you’re being a bit U. If it were my MIL who I get on great with, I’d just ask if mum could come and she’d always say yes unless there was an exceptional reason why not eg space or they hated each other (which they don’t, they meet up without DH and I!)

Eh? Just ask if your mum can come to. Don’t see the need to be offended. Maybe she just didn’t think 😀.

I don't think it would ever occur to me to invite my son's girlfriend's mum, if we were just having a buffet on one random day between Christmas and New Year

*too

Why would you expect your MIL to invite your mother to meet your DP's brother's gf?? My mil can get on my nerves but I wouldn't expect her to invite my parents to something like this.

I don't think it would ever occur to me to invite my son's girlfriend's mum, if we were just having a buffet on one random day between Christmas and New Year

This ^

Talk about mountain out of molehill, just ask mil if your mum can come

It's a buffet for DP's family (+OHs). Why on earth, would your mum be invited?

YABU. Why would your mum be invited to their family meal? She’s not in their family.

Maybe it's a numbers thing

It’s a family buffet... this wouldn’t usually include in laws tbh. My mum is visiting us at Christmas... if my sil has us over she wouldn’t ask my mum too but if I mentioned it I’m sure it would be fine. Just ask your mil if she can come

My in-laws wouldn't invite my parents and vice versa. Just ask if you want her to go but yes you're definitely being unreasonable

My family has never been invited to anything by my in-laws, and vice versa. I think that's normally the case isn't it?

Have both sides of the family got together before? Do you think your MIL is just clueless that your mum might feel left out, or is she consciously trying to keep it to her side?

I think you seriously need to get some perspective!

Your boyfriend’s mum is having a buffet and you are very angry with her because you think she should have invited your mum.

It is bizarre. If your friend was having a party would you expect her to invite your mum as well?

Ask MIL if your mum can come? You shouldn't be annoyed she hasn't been invited though, why would she? She's not MILs family.

The MIL threads these days are getting more ridiculous by the hour.

Why would your MiL invite your mum? You’re looking for something to be offended by here. Your MiL has done nothing wrong.

If it's not on Christmas Day or New Year's Eve/Day then I don't see why your mum would be invited. It's a get-together for your DP's close family. Your mum probably wouldn't even bat an eyelid at the prospect of not being invited

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. I don't see why your partners mother would invite your mother to meet her other sons girlfriend? Unless your mom usually attends all of their family events?

My parents don't invite my in-laws to family events, just as the in-laws wouldn't invite my parents. If you want everyone to get together then you need to host. I think it's a bit odd that you want your mother to tag along and it would be rude to ask for an invitation.

Is there something missing from this story? I can't work out why you would expect your mum to receive an invitation.

Why would you expect your MIL to invite your mother to meet your DP's brother's gf?? My mil can get on my nerves but I wouldn't expect her to invite my parents to something like this.

^ this. It wouldn't even iccur to me to invite ILs to somethong like this and we all get on really well.

I think it's weird for you to be annoyed about that,

your mum isn't their family - why would they invite her to their family meal? YABU sorry.