To be so annoyed with 'MIL'?

[PurpleRose01]

I'd like some other views on this, as I freely admit to not always keeping things in proportion.

DP's brother lives in London, but always comes up for Christmas. This year, his gf is coming up between Christmas and New Year. 'MIL' has announced that she will be hosting a buffet for family while she is up. Invited are me, DP, DP's cousin and her husband and DP's aunt.

My mum moved down to the town we live in back in 2016. She now lives about a 20min walk from us and 'MIL'. No mention of her being invited. Now, for many years it was mum and me against the world so I do take things to heart on her behalf. She might not even want to come along, but it's the fact she hasn't even been invited. AIBU to be annoyed?

CuntOnAShelf it depends on why people are meeting tbh.

My parents and my ex in laws socialised at events that were about me, my (now ex) husband or our children.

But if the event was about my brother, in laws wouldn't have been invited. My parents wouldn't have been invited to events for exhs sister.

When my exhs sister got married, my parents weren't invited. I cant see why they would be.

Admittedly, I have read the other thread. I need to go find it.

It’s nice that you think of your mum and so obviously care about her so much. I also think you’re wrong here and that perhaps either you are a tiny bit too dependent on her or the other way around. Maybe time for a review?

Op if this was Xmas day and they knew your mum would be at home I would absolutely agree with you.
On this occasion though I think the best thing to do is simply do something nice with your own mum.
There's no need for you to attend the buffet. In future don't let your mum get left out on imp days like Xmas etc. I also think it's sweet your thinking of her.

On this occasion though I think the best thing to do is simply do something nice with your own mum.
There's no need for you to attend the buffet”

God, this is such a bad idea and would be really bad form. To accept an invitation to your inkaws and then deliberately use the same date to go out with your mum somewhere. That’s such bad manners and will create bad feelings amongst your inkaws side.

I mean, come on! This doesn’t seem to be a “mum left alone on Christmas Day” situation. Op just wants to bring her mum along even though it’s not a get together from her side of the family, and no reason given as to why her mum should attend it. Eg mum recently divorced/bereaved/ill. I also assume that this isn’t the only date available for OP and her mum to be together.

The apron strings need cutting, OP, it is overbearing of you to want to take your mum everywhere once you are a grown woman.

I know a few women who insist that life revolves their own side of the family and will never put themselves out for their other half’s side. People need to make an effort to foster good and fair relationships with BOTH their own family and their husband’s. Do anything else and it just looks like you’re being selfish and creates bad feeling amongst the inkaws.

Weird. YABU.

You are being odd. Ask if she can come if it's so important to you / your mum that she be included.

Why would she invite your mum to their family get together?? Very random. YABU.