To wish strangers wouldn't talk to children?

[2anddone]

Just home from a rare visit to town and I couldn't believe how many strangers (mainly older people 50+) spoke to dn!
In McDonald's an old man started talking to us both, in queues in shops people tried to start a conversation with her and even paying for the car park ticket!
Dn (3) is quite shy and didn't answer them but that still didn't stop the talking to her.
At one point I said 'sorry she won't speak to somebody she doesn't know, at least the stranger danger talk worked' to which the reply I received was 'It's hard to know where to draw the line isn't it!'
I agree that not everyone is 'bad' and I feel awful that some of these older people maybe just crave conversation as they don't have anyone to talk to, I am more than happy to chat to anyone but AIBU to wish they didn't talk to the children if they don't know them?? (Prepared to be flamed!!)

Like a previous poster DH and I found a small child, after dark, wandering round an out of town shopping centre carpark. She was happy to come with me, as I had teddy bears on my scarf, and we spoke about them as we went to find Mum. I took her to the first shop, who called security, who came to collect her. I went with them. Mum had been trying on dresses, and hadn't noticed her daughter was gone. We were upset for ages afterwards, thinking of how easily that little girl could have been gone forever. I was just glad she was happy to come with us

I talk to children cos I work with children and it’s quite natural for me to address kids. It’s not going to be exclusively sadly, lonely old people who talk to kids! They may well have grandchildren and enjoy interacting with small children.

Side note - I have never understood the ‘Londoners are rude’ stereotype - I’ve struck up conversations with strangers more often in London than in ‘the north’.

I like it when people interact with my three-year-old DD. We met a lovely man on the tube the other day who was really kind and made her laugh. How sad to be so mistrusting of other people.

It is healthy for children to talk to other people when they are with their parents.

Sadly, some parents do feel like you.

I often go out walking and everyone feels very comfortable when we are chatting about their dogs.

I'm sad that children are left out. I must admit, I am much less likely to talk to a parent I might meet about their baby or toddler these days.

Sometimes it does strike me that the conversations we have about the pet dog are exactly the same as people used to have about their children.

TheFormdableMrsC absolutely! If anything I am happy for people to talk to my son instead of me so that I can have a minute a silence .

I think you're teaching your DN to be rude, not safe.

Well OP did say in the post it was a rare visit to town. Perhaps they've had to have a rather long rest to recover from the trip

Seriously I can't believe 50+ =old and lonely. Retirement is now 65 years. Has OP been cocooned somewhere for years and years and years ?

@ZackPizzazz Good for you. The elderly Nigerian guy who tried to exorcise me on the 35 bus seemed like a harmless religious leaflet hander-outer to start with. Then he wasn’t. And there have been a couple of quite dodgy looking guys who have just wanted to say hello to DS. Sometimes that is a lead-in to asking me for money, sometimes they are just being nice to a cute toddler as people often are.

Those same guys have asked me for money plenty of times before - I’ve lived here since 1997 so I can easily differentiate “respectable” people from more dubious ones (you get to recognise most of them after a while). But IME that isn’t a good predictor of their behaviour in every interaction. Some nice-seeming people can turn out to be weirdos, and criminals can be perfectly pleasant when they want to be. Nobody is all good or all bad. I’d rather give everyone a chance to be nice but have my guard up just in case.

Also - 50 yr olds craving conversation and not having anyone to talk to? WTF?

Took the words right out of my mouth. I'm 51 and strike up conversations with children as I have no friends. Oh, hang on: I don't if truth be told. If I exchange a few words with a child — who would at the time be accompanied by a parent/guardian — then I'm just being chatty, friendly: makes the world a lovely place.

But thanks for the admonishment, OP: I'll be sure to glower and frown at everyone under 18 from hereonin.

Oh, and .... you're doing your DN a great disservice, in my opinion.

Your town sounds like a very nice and friendly place to live.

You on the other hand...

YABU. People are just being nice. You should welcome that.

At 55 i will just crawl back under my stone then🙄

I am always talking to toddlers in supermarket queues, chetting to them whikst waiting for a lift, or making conversation in cafes and restaurants.

I dont know my place in this world anymore. I really dont.

OP this might be interesting / helpful. the Stranger Danger message has been refined since we were children www.kidsmartz.org/StrangerDanger

Strangers are not necessarily the danger, it appears. The danger is often closer to home, sadly.

I can't believe this is real

It doesn’t bother me people talking to my children whilst I am there. If I get a bad feeling from someone or anyone attempts to touch my children or acts odd then that’s different . However that hardly ever ever happens. It’s good for your children to see you interacting and taking part in polite conversation also.

This is why I once got glared at by a mother when I reached out and stopped her runaway toddler from stepping off the kerb into oncoming traffic. When people with no sense have the Stranger Danger message drummed into them, they stop seeing where the real dangers are.

People like you make the world a miserable place

YABU they are being polite and being part of a society means that when you have a child or a pet, sometimes people will want to strike up a conversation. No harm at all.

Christ and you have other threads that whinge about the fact that no one interacts with their child. They're just being friendly... relax a bit Op

Person posts bullshit on AIBU.
Gets disparaged.
Chickens the fuck out and disappears. 😮

Another lovely day on Mumsnet! 🤗

As everyone else has said, YABTU, no wonder so many people have such poor social skills, the art of conversation seems to be lost. I used to walk the same route as another mum to school, she always walked head down, would never return a 'good morning', just glued to her phone.

I think being part of a community is essential and that means talking to people.

"OP has left the chat"

aaaaaaand the OPs gone.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I actually left my toddler with a policeman to play with playdough for 5mins at an event so they knew a policeman was safe and if they needed one they would talk to them.

Apparently they had a lovely little chat and made a police car.

What a sad world it is if we can’t talk to strangers. They may just be your new best friend you don’t know yet.