To wish strangers wouldn't talk to children?

[2anddone]

Just home from a rare visit to town and I couldn't believe how many strangers (mainly older people 50+) spoke to dn!
In McDonald's an old man started talking to us both, in queues in shops people tried to start a conversation with her and even paying for the car park ticket!
Dn (3) is quite shy and didn't answer them but that still didn't stop the talking to her.
At one point I said 'sorry she won't speak to somebody she doesn't know, at least the stranger danger talk worked' to which the reply I received was 'It's hard to know where to draw the line isn't it!'
I agree that not everyone is 'bad' and I feel awful that some of these older people maybe just crave conversation as they don't have anyone to talk to, I am more than happy to chat to anyone but AIBU to wish they didn't talk to the children if they don't know them?? (Prepared to be flamed!!)

Yeah, the fuckers! How dare they interact nicely with your, DC...

If you don’t want to live in a civilised society where strangers talk to you, go and live in cave or remote island. YABtotallyU

I don't mind general chit-chat, I think it's important to know how to talk to people and this is the beginning of it.

What I seriously dislike is how many people try to talk to my DD aged 4 but in doing so totally freak her out by asking her to give them something.
'That's a nice hat, can I have it?'
'That's a lovely toy, is it for me?'

Why the fuck people do it I don't know, maybe they think it's charming. But she's gets very upset and then asks me for hours after, 'why did that woman want my hat mummy'?

Just another goady fucker.

Yabu (but you probably know this by now)

Interpreting Stranger Danger the way you do risks kids being afraid to talk to people when they need help - teachers, friend's parents, shops etc. The most important but is not to stray far from the point that they were lost so if in a shop, stay in the shop etc

Have you discussed with her what to do if she was lost?eg if in a shop find someone in uniform

I talk to kids I don't know- wave back to kids in buggies and have asked if a child crying on their own were ok, stopped a toddler who was running towards the road so that their career could catch up...

There is a difference I think between normal chitchat (hello, what a lovely smile/coat/dolly) and intrusive weird behaviour from strangers.

There don’t seem to be many kids out in public where I currently live (you never see them on the tube or in the supermarket / I assume they go from home to car to daycare and back). So DS has had some weird woman following him and taking photos right in his face (with a flash). Random women videoing him eating an apple on the tube. People crouching down between him and me to tickle him, without even acknowledging that I exist let alone asking my permission.

Maybe OP phrased it badly, but this treatment of my child as public property that random strangers are entitled to touch, film and interact with is something I have a quite visceral reaction to.

Bloody hell - how long ago was it that children should be seen and not heard? Honestly it's so sad that someone would think that talking to a child wasn't on. It's showing respect for them as people in their own right for starters.

I should say that those encounters are in the minority (most people just say hello to him). But it’s often enough and weird enough that both I, my DM and DH have all noticed it independently.

"Touch, film and interact with" isn't what the OP said happened. She said they spoke to them.

I live somewhere where it's quite normal to chat to people you don't know - you know, strangers - in shops, pubs, queues, etc. I wonder how some of you would react.

Your post is massively insulting and you sound ridiculous.

OP your off your heed as we would say in Scotland

I live somewhere where it's quite normal to chat to people you don't know - you know, strangers - in shops, pubs, queues, etc. I wonder how some of you would react

Having moved somewhere where that is more normal too, it depends on the topic of conversation. “This weather’s nice isn’t it?” - fine. “Where did you get your hair colour? Do your family have hair like that?” (Said in an accusatory voice like I might have stolen it from somewhere) - backing away slowly.

OP you are a Fucking Nutter! God help us all!

I think I live in a different world to a lot of MNers. When PFB was born I was amazed and really quite insulted that there weren't more people queuing up to coo over him in his pram . Any old ladies in cafes who even glanced in his direction got a good 15 min monologue on how ace he was .
My kids will have little conversations with people who chat to them in shops etc, they are always with me and know not to go off with anyone so they aren't in danger. I like that they are sociable, it takes a village and all that.

The world's just getting weirder and weirder.

When PFB was born I was amazed and really quite insulted that there weren't more people queuing up to coo over him in his pram

Me too!

I don't tend to chat with little children unless they smile/interact/catch my eye- which is a lot! I'm always smiling at little kids.

It's not just exclusive to children, though. I'm nearly 50 and people chat to me a lot, especially on buses. I must look approachable.

I hate the way the ‘stranger danger talk’ has basically isolated people and stop people making contact with each other.
It’s pitching people against others by aging that everyone is a potential rapist/danger and you can’t trust anyone at all.

These type of interactions are absolutely invaluable and teach children how the world works and how to interact. YABU

OP, you're being absolutely ridiculous. She's not 'shy'. The poor child is just terrified of EVERYONE because this is how she has been conditioned. You've basically taught her that all strangers are 'evil'. She's going to have problems when she starts school.

Wow, Sashkin, that is really creepy. That would weird me out too.

OP, though, is being VU. I always taught my kids that it was okay to talk to strangers when they were with one of their trusted adults (parents / grandparents / aunt or uncle) but not if they were alone until they got old enough to read situations well enough to know which strangers are best avoided.

I wish strange children would stop talking to me. OK, I work in a school but I'd like some peace and quiet sometimes.

You are being extremely unreasonable and anti social!

OP your post makes me feel so sad! Good grief, if this is the way the world is going then I worry for future generations, particularly your niece! I'm honestly shocked at your post, shocked.

Basically your post is inferring anyone who dares to talk to a kid is a paedophile....