To wish strangers wouldn't talk to children?

[2anddone]

Just home from a rare visit to town and I couldn't believe how many strangers (mainly older people 50+) spoke to dn!
In McDonald's an old man started talking to us both, in queues in shops people tried to start a conversation with her and even paying for the car park ticket!
Dn (3) is quite shy and didn't answer them but that still didn't stop the talking to her.
At one point I said 'sorry she won't speak to somebody she doesn't know, at least the stranger danger talk worked' to which the reply I received was 'It's hard to know where to draw the line isn't it!'
I agree that not everyone is 'bad' and I feel awful that some of these older people maybe just crave conversation as they don't have anyone to talk to, I am more than happy to chat to anyone but AIBU to wish they didn't talk to the children if they don't know them?? (Prepared to be flamed!!)

What a depressing outlook on life you have OP.

Yabu and bloody ridiculous.

@IrmaFayLear she sounds lovely

I thought stranger danger was VERY outdated advise

Fgs really??
I have four dc and I love it when people have a chat with them. Especially if it's older people we have no grandparents left and it's lovely for them to have a chat.
My 4 and 5 year old sons had a lovely chat in m and s cafe this week with a really nice elderly gentleman about what Father Christmas was bringing them and whether fc would bring the man anything, when the man said he was a bit old for a Father Christmas presents the four year old told him to try and be really really good and he might get one.
It was so nice to watch and everyone left with a smile on their face. Why on earth would I want situations like that to stop?

Christ alive! If somebody was trying to snatch your child from your hands, you'd have a point, but somebody interracting with your little one, who I presume they thought was sweet or lovely to look at? People talk to my little boy all the time, I think it encourages good social interraction and I encourage him to respond nicely. He has ASD so it's an important life skill that he has to learn I think!

Today, I talked to little boy in our doctor's surgery. He was playing up, mum was getting irritated, I made a comment about how much I liked his colourful top, he was very happy about this...mum and I chatted, he was a dear little lad recovering from an op. I am 49 and a parent, not a bloody paedophile!

As an alternate point of view...I once found a child no more than 2 years old wandering around our town centre, no parent in sight, he was getting distressed. I took his hand and talked to him, said we'd find his mummy. We were there for a good five mins before she came up and said "oh there are you", threw daggers at me and went off without so much as a thankyou. Perhaps I should have just ignored him? I'd hope a "stranger" would help my child if he were lost!! What a sad world we live in.

Children need to learn social discourse. How rude of you to rebuff people who are being nice. For all you know they are warm loving people who may also be lonely. They are not likely to be a danger

Words fail me!!

Everyone is a stranger until you meet them!

There are a lot of bad people in the world but, thankfully, there are a lot more kind and friendly people in the world.

How is she going to talk to her teachers, a doctor, a policeman, another child’s mum, cashiers, etc., if you are ‘training’ her to be scared of people?

Yes we teach our children not to go off with someone they don’t know but we don’t have to scare them in regards to all people.

I’m a nanny, love children, I always talk to children, on the train, in a shop, in the park and yes, I am over 50!!

I stopped and talked to a little girl the other day, in a Cathedral, explaining a story about the cathedral's windows. I walked away and then worried I shouldn't have spoken to her, especially as her dad then came up to me a few minutes later. Thankfully he wanted to say thank you for explaining things so patiently to his daughter, and could I tell him the story too please?

I'm not convinced a fear of all strangers is terribly useful!

Get a grip. An older person being polite and friendly isn't going to harm your DN, it's not like they tried to entice her away - they spoke to her whilst you were stood right there! It's good for children to learn how to speak to people and socialise.. massive difference between 'stranger danger' and polite conversation. I feel sorry for the person you were unnecessarily rude to, you probably made them feel like they're a perceived danger.

I'm nearly 50 and have two children in primary! I'll also chat to anyone

But I do mention stranger danger to my kids - I assume that if a child is with family that it's ok to talk/acknowledge them.

YABU for suggesting that people over 50 are ‘old’ and due to their age they’re lonely and don’t have anyone to talk to. I’m 54 and have more people to talk to than I ever have before in my entire life - university pals, colleagues, my grown up sons (who I taught to be polite to people who wanted a conversation with them ), neighbours, other parents and a multitude of friends.
Don’t teach your DN to be scared of talking to people - far better to teach her the art of conversation and how to express herself when she needs to.
We are human beings and communication is key to our survival.

Fuck me, paranoid much?

Also - 50 yr olds craving conversation and not having anyone to talk to? WTF? Are you 15?

I grew up long before the Stranger Danger campaigns, but we were still told not to go off with anyone unless we told our mother first, and if someone asked us to go off with them to tell another adult that was passing.

Ahaha. Lighten up, OP, before you give your DN a complex.

I’m currently living in South America and people here will even stroke DS (10mo) while they chat to him. Took me a while to get used to it but it’s not harming him! He loves the attention.

To be honest I find your whole post quite stunning. You wish people wouldn’t speak to your niece? Thats just such a weird thing to say

A woman came in to the office the other day with her toddler and he was smiling so I said to him “look at those teeth!” And he grinned and showed off all 4 of them. It was lovely.

How very odd and sad, OP.

I am honestly lost for words! I had no idea people even thought like this!

I always chat to kids and always loved people chatting to mine when they were small.

I have never really taught my kids stranger danger.

I have taught them

1. never to go with anyone, even the parent of friend, unless I have told them to, even if they say Mummy is hurt etc. We have a very short list of safe people. They are taught to say - I need to ask someone else if this is OK, and then ask me, or school, or someone on the lost (2 are neighbours)
2. that if they are scared, or someone is trying to grab them etc they should RUN and SCREAM. They are taught to run towards someone - shop, someone with kids, couple.
3. they are taught about safe places and touch.

As most attackers are people your kids know, I have always thought the idea of stranger danger actually leads them into harm, instead of saving them from it.

Little girl out with her DGPs this morning was making animal noises. I stopped and gave her a long Mooooo sound. The beam on her face made my day :)
Yabu.

They're just being nice, and it helps show my children social skills. Very helpful as I have autism and am not so good with the small talk.

I have two very small children, since having dc2 the number of people who have helped during dc1s toddler tantrums has been amazing. Not only have they talked to him to distract him, they've carried him or my tiny baby so I could deal with him.

The vast majority of strangers are good people, stranger danger is now thought to be a bad idea, the happily ever after site has excellent guidelines on keeping children safe if you're worried.

I often talk to other dc, in shop queues many dc look over and smile or some such and I’ll say something. I’m only talking, child is with mum/dad or whoever anyway so not really sure what all this stranger danger is? I’m a lady in a shop smiling at a child, talking about the magazine they hold while they are next to an adult.

I’ve got 3 dc myself and people often talk to them when out, I am near by so what’s the issue?

People being friendly to children, outrageous!

Shocking I know but the vast majority of people aren’t in to stealing dc

I hate random people talking to my dc as I get really anxious around strangers. I don’t let my children know this though or the people talking to them. I appreciate them taking time to be pleasant to my child.