To wish strangers wouldn't talk to children?

[2anddone]

Just home from a rare visit to town and I couldn't believe how many strangers (mainly older people 50+) spoke to dn!
In McDonald's an old man started talking to us both, in queues in shops people tried to start a conversation with her and even paying for the car park ticket!
Dn (3) is quite shy and didn't answer them but that still didn't stop the talking to her.
At one point I said 'sorry she won't speak to somebody she doesn't know, at least the stranger danger talk worked' to which the reply I received was 'It's hard to know where to draw the line isn't it!'
I agree that not everyone is 'bad' and I feel awful that some of these older people maybe just crave conversation as they don't have anyone to talk to, I am more than happy to chat to anyone but AIBU to wish they didn't talk to the children if they don't know them?? (Prepared to be flamed!!)

My dd used to love talking to strangers when she was little. I thought it enriched her life. And theirs. I didn’t teach dd stranger danger. I have taught her more useful things like the pants rule, not going off with strangers or going off with friends parents without my consent. I also taught her that not well groomed or attractive period are good and not all people with tattoos or looking disheveled are bad.

I think you need to rethink the stranger danger thing. It’s obviously not worked at all. Counter productive as many have pointed out.

I have heard it all now! Christ on a bike!

Why do we still continue to perpetrate this image that everyone is a potneital rapist, murder or will kidnap your PFB???????

Talk to people and take that pole from up your arse!

My God, OP, imagine what a world it would be if everyone adhered to your model. There certainly wouldn't be too many of those heart-warming moments where we acknowledge each other's shared humanity. Out of interest, where are you from? Are you in a relationship? Do you have friends? If so, how did you meet those people?

I hope the sound commonsense expressed here has reassured the OP that most people, even older ones, are generally safe in public. I too am ancient, but quite happy to play peekaboo with small children, especially if a frazzled parent is busy, perhaps packing shopping in the supermarket. Most welcome the distraction. I try to avoid obviously surly types who interact with children by yelling at them.

One of the most depressing OPs I've read on MN in ages. Partly because of the attitude of the OP about people daring to make polite small talk and even carry out an act of kindness for a child (how very dare they?!)

But also because of the casual 50 is old comment.

In fact OP, have a

Are you a southerner OP? My DH is from down South and now that he lives up North, he's astonished when he visits at how taken aback people are - fully gown adults - when you strike a conversation with them.

You'd think the woman at the till in Tesco was thinking she was about to bundled off and sacrificed.

Really? I love it when people speak to my children. Acknowledging they are also part of our community and worthy of speaking to. We've had some really interesting chats with strangers. Have you considered that these particularly older people might a) be lonely and b) enjoy a little reminisce about when their children were that age? And c) that you are teaching your children that older people are people with thoughts, feelings and value too? Thanks

I teach my kids to be friendly and polite and to enjoy people. Social skills.

Sorry, YABU. They're just being friendly. People in this country complain about people not being friendly enough to kids so there's no winning.

Yes. There'll be another thread soon complaining that people in the UK aren't friendly to children like they are in other countries.

It's good to see that the OP's opinion isn't shared by people on here.

I like it when people chat to my kid. Sometimes when I'm going round the supermarket people chat to him while he sits in the trolley and I'm usually EXHAUSTED by that point after engaging with him all day and I'll just be trying to grab a few things for dinner so I don't have much energy for engaging with him at that point. Honestly I love it as it gives me 5 mins break from chatting to him 😂 plus he loves it

cjt110
Like other posters, I despair of this neurotic mindset. I talk to everyone

Stranger danger isn't about talking to children whilst in the presence of a parent or adult carer. What danger do you imagine there would be in that?

I'm frankly quite depressed by the thinking that, because the DN struggles with social skills, all adults should recognise this and never speak to her to avoid taking her out of her comfort zone, rather than that this is something that can and should be worked on and actively practised so she can get over it.

Meanwhile, I will continue to encourage my DS4 to practise his own social skills by speaking to strangers, and playing peekaboo with babies and chatting to toddlers about the lions at the zoo.

That's a very good point. Maybe the danger is that the child will come across as a rounded human being.

Noah was lucky you weren't the boss!
YABU and a bit precious.

@FrenchJunebug I'm nearly 50 with a 7 year old too. I don't consider myself to be an "older person craving conversation", far from it! The nerve

Christ, with an attitude like that no bloody wonder she's 'shy'. She's probably been terrified by your bizarre attitude.
^ this.
And if you spend much time accompanying youngsters maybe you should consider getting help with your issues.

A stranger's just a friend you do not know.

OP ( who has vanished) YABVVVVVU.

It's all been said.

Lighten up love.

Have we scared OP off?

Wow. Just...wow!

Probably the stupidest yet saddest thread ive read. OP. On some level you MUST know how ridiculous you sound.

OP I'm sure you've got the message by now, but just to reiterate, teaching kids not to talk to strangers in case they're bad is hugely unsafe for them.

Scared op off.... You are all strangers!!! She can't talk to you

Wow ! A completely unanimous YABU.

small talk with strangers is nice imo

As a small tangent, there's a campaign running at present:

Small Talk Saves Lives

www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-6417839/Script-Christmas-classic-Wonderful-Life-painted-train-stations-boost-mental-health.html

In Euston Station there are LED billboards asking you to practise small talk with strangers (seems to be as parts of MH and anti-suicide initiatives).