To wish strangers wouldn't talk to children?

[2anddone]

Just home from a rare visit to town and I couldn't believe how many strangers (mainly older people 50+) spoke to dn!
In McDonald's an old man started talking to us both, in queues in shops people tried to start a conversation with her and even paying for the car park ticket!
Dn (3) is quite shy and didn't answer them but that still didn't stop the talking to her.
At one point I said 'sorry she won't speak to somebody she doesn't know, at least the stranger danger talk worked' to which the reply I received was 'It's hard to know where to draw the line isn't it!'
I agree that not everyone is 'bad' and I feel awful that some of these older people maybe just crave conversation as they don't have anyone to talk to, I am more than happy to chat to anyone but AIBU to wish they didn't talk to the children if they don't know them?? (Prepared to be flamed!!)

It depends what they say really. 99.9% is probably harmless, kind attempts at conversation. The rest not. YABU if you encourage a child to be fearful of all strangers on this basis.

YWNBU if the dc was trying to go home with them.

Oh FFS OP

I agree you need to tell your children about stranger danger. Cause not everyone is a good person. But to be so paronoid about people even saying hello while you are stood there seems over the top. Your child one day will have to go into the world as a adult and interact with humans. So why not show her how to speak to strangers it will help with confidence. You can't live in a bubble of your own world and stop people talking unless you want to lock yourself and your child at home till she's old enough to talk to other humans

Stop the world, I want to get off.

THIS! YABVU

Let's just go around ignoring each other shall we. That will make the world a better place!

If you think stranger danger means that adults can't talk to children I think you need to revisit it.

Words fail me.

YABVU I am a 50 year old person with a DS of 7 so rethink your vision and attitude with regards to 'old people'

and seriously you are not happy because people are being polite and friendly?! get a grip/

yes yabu
maybe older people like talking to young children because they don't have the issues and attitude that adults do
its called social interaction and is a healthy thing not something to be scared of

I just had a chat on the tube with a gang of cutie pies on their way to the South Kensington museums. They were so happy to tell me where they were going, and I was so happy to hear.

What a misery guts you are.

I'd hate to be so scared that I don't want anyone to speak to children. Get a grip OP.

Are you having a larf?

I am actually more insulted at you thinking people over 50 are old and lonely and just craving talking to ANYONE. I am 48 and don't talk to children as I'm desperate, more that I'm just being friendly. I have a 9 year old so am in the world of kids.

Perhaps you need to get out more, it's perfectly fine for people to talk to each other and for people to engage with children.

Everyone else has pretty well said it all.

YABU.

Are you maybe feeling a bit awkward because dn is shy? Don't be.

Please don't let this be the new world where we can't even say hello to small children what a misery that would be!

You sound paranoid and weird, I say that as someone who grew up in the 90s and 2000s when stranger danger was very much taught

Christ, with an attitude like that no bloody wonder she's 'shy'. She's probably been terrified by your bizarre attitude.

I feel the same OP, but it's down to my own social awkwardness and anxiety so my problem. I'm aware of my own ridiculousness - when someone talks to my 4 year old, I feel irrationally anxious that the conversation won't go well cause my DD will go mute or not want to speak, which is utterly ridiculous I know. Those kind of interactions are good for her though. Laughing at your over 50s not having anyone to talk to - I'm mid 40s but DH is 53 (the lonely old leper that he is).

This is sad. These are just normal interactions with other human beings. We'll be in serious trouble if we lose this.

YABU.

Unbelievable.

It’s extremely sad that people like you exist. It’s even more sad that you are influencing a young child.

DH and I are keen kayakers and it's something that people talk to us about when they see us shifting our boats and kit or walking across a lock with out boats. I regularly have small children talk to me to ask about what we're doing or because they want to sit inside the boats. I always have an exchange with the adults they're with to check that it's OK that we chat or to see if it's OK for them to sit in the boat while it's on land.

I'd be rather sad if I made an adult feel uncomfortable about interacting with their child/ren.

It sounds like you are doing a smashing job of ensuring your daughter grows up socially anxious and unable to talk to anyone outwith her peer group.

slow handclap

My ds does not speak to strangers but I am always polite to them and try my best to encourage ds to be polite.

Really? Get a grip, OP. Your child is in far more danger from someone she already knows than a stranger saying hello while she's out with you. Look at the statistics.

DN so she’s your Niece? What is her parent’s take on it? Do you have DC of your own OP, your views on this are quite irrational.
Is it one of these instances where we are automatically very protective when lookong after someone else’s DC?
I don’t have the stranger reaction like yourself but am hugely overprotective when babysitting my friend’s child, much much more cautious than I am with my own DS of the same age.

UABU...

This is so sad. How will she learn normal social skills? No wonder everyone’s rude now and ignores each other, everyone’s terrified of simple hellos and chit chat. It’s good to speak to different people - and I’m a 30 year old (read: millennial) Londoner - I talk to everyone

At least 3/4 of abuse comes from people known to children. Stranger danger is really unhelpful, look for a helper and the pants rule are both more useful.
Learning to socially interact with the rest of the human race is a useful life skill. It's okay if they are too shy to manage it but don't scare DC about normal human life.