To wish strangers wouldn't talk to children?

[2anddone]

Just home from a rare visit to town and I couldn't believe how many strangers (mainly older people 50+) spoke to dn!
In McDonald's an old man started talking to us both, in queues in shops people tried to start a conversation with her and even paying for the car park ticket!
Dn (3) is quite shy and didn't answer them but that still didn't stop the talking to her.
At one point I said 'sorry she won't speak to somebody she doesn't know, at least the stranger danger talk worked' to which the reply I received was 'It's hard to know where to draw the line isn't it!'
I agree that not everyone is 'bad' and I feel awful that some of these older people maybe just crave conversation as they don't have anyone to talk to, I am more than happy to chat to anyone but AIBU to wish they didn't talk to the children if they don't know them?? (Prepared to be flamed!!)

I'm so glad to see a thread filled with sanity. Strangers are not the issue. Sometimes a stranger will be the solution to a child's biggest problem. They need to know how to get help when it's all gone wrong, and how to spot a person (known or unknown) who isn't acting responsibly towards them (trying to take them, keeping secrets, making threats, etc.)

I always talk to children on public transport, shops, restaurants and will continue to do so - its called being siciable. What kind of workd are we living in when adults object to anither adult being friendly in a non-threatening and sinuster way. I wont stop

Most unreasonable post I have read on here and that is saying something

Stranger danger is for when your mummy or daddy isn't around, right? Not for being scared of people you meet when your parent's right next to you

Interacting with adults is an important skill for children! You're being completely unreasonable.

OP, i fully understand. have you tried buying her one of these? theyre pretty soundproof and the sizes run from birth to age 18, so you can keep her safe from the people harassing you.

I don't mind a bit of chit-chat with random people, it's the overly intrusive weird chats with strangers that I find odd. What's your name, where are you from, what age is everyone etc - question after question without pause or any information offered. Otherwise a bit of a chat about something relevant to the situation is fine.

Such a depressing post.

Bloody people, being all friendly. Wouldn't the world be a better place if everyone walked around eyes straight ahead and ignored each other? How dare they try to connect with fellow humans like that?

OP: please, please don't pass your weird attitude onto your DN

Yes you are being unreasonable and rather ignorant and rude and not doing DN any favours

It comes to something when people aren't allowed to pass the time of day with a child and her parent (or other family members).

For all you know you and your dn may have been the only people an old man might have have a conversation with for weeks. He was hardly going to abduct her when she's with an adult!

Get a grip!

YABU. As has been pointed out, most of the dangers are not in fact coming from strangers. If you are really (unreasonably IMHO) worried about this, say it is ok to talk to them because you are there, ie she is not on her own.

I never talk to kids as I can't stand them

OP, really? FFS, there is no hope for our future generations with attitudes like this. Dear god help us.

GET A LIFE

and shares in cotton steel wool.

Relax op.Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet 😁

I actually think these conversations are useful. Small talk is a skill. Learning that it is ok to chat with someone in the presence of your parent is important. I have a shy child too. So am I. We are the ones who need this practice the most and the checkout line is a good low stakes short situation.

Stranger danger means never go anywhere with someone you don’t know. If you are lost, your best choice is a police officer, but you are more likely to find a mom so talk to her. Also learning your parents name, address, and phone number as early as possible. At 3, focus on making sure she knows your first and last name, not just that you are mommy.

Wow and they say community spirit has died.

So you'd rather they spoke to you and ignored your niece completely? Then you'd be on here saying it's so rude they don't acknowledge DN at all. YABU

A man asked me for help selecting an item in the grocery store the other day. Then he apologized profusely for taking a moment of my time. I just said no problem, but I really wish I had said “I don’t want to live in a world where we can’t ask people for a little help”

Are you from a big city?

small talk with strangers is nice imo

Oh for goodness sake. If it isn’t bad enough that everyone has their heads buried in a mobile phone nowadays or on social media, lets stop talking to anyone we don’t know. And then maybe how about we stop talking to family and friends aswell.

I’ve never taught my children stranger danger. It doesn’t protect from 99% of abusers and does stop them asking for help in an emergency.

The best thing to keep children safe is them being allowed and encouraged to have (reasonable) boundaries with adults and to express that loudly.

That’s why never tell my children to do what adults, teachers say blindly etc. I explain why the rule is good and helpful. I tell them to ask politely if they don’t understand a rule.

Shyness is a different thing, but these people were being kind and friendly. Most parents are quite happy for a friendly stranger to entertain their child while in a queue. If you aren’t that’s fine but I think you are in the minority. Personally I’m glad for that. Community is a force for good in the main, and human kindness is not something I’d want to live without.

This makes me sad. I'm not old but my kids are both at uni. I like taking to people in queues especially if they have children. It brings back happy memories. I would hate to be thought of as interfering, dangerous or rude.