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Original poster

God parents of baby

128 replies

paige789 · 29/11/2018 09:26

So I'll try and make it short
I have 2 close friends from school and we normally do things all 3 of us...
I was close friends with both of them which is how they became friends.. I want to ask one of them to be god mother to my baby but I know the other one will be really pissed off.. but the one I'm asking has made a huge effort and I can tell she loves my baby and the other has only popped round once and I feel like that was forced just because she knew she had to see her although she is a good friend to me just doesn't make a huge effort with my children.. I don't want to upset her but I also don't want to not ask my other friend :/

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 29/11/2018 09:28

If she's not overly bothered about your baby why do you think she would want to be a godparent? She might not!

Original poster
paige789 · 29/11/2018 09:30

@GreatDuckCookery i do think she defiantly would even more so if she knows my other friend is, that's the thing if I asked her to be god parent she would suddenly start making a huge effort when my other friend already is x

OP posts:
BuffaloCauliflower · 29/11/2018 09:32

Are you a Christian? Are they Christian? Which do you think would offer the best spiritual guidance and support to your child? That’s the role of Godparent.

Also you can have both, I have two godmothers. My goddaughter has 3 godmothers.

But yes, if she’s not making much effort why does it matter?

NerrSnerr · 29/11/2018 09:32

Is she religious? If not I can't see how she'd be bothered about being a god parent.

Original poster
paige789 · 29/11/2018 09:37

I'm not a Christian neither is she
Tbh I don't want to ask her just because I feel like I have too, I know this will probably cause a huge argument and she will be massively offended because to her it will seem like my other friend is the better friend. I also don't want it to be awkward but at the end of the day it comes down to who is going to be present in my daughters life and it doesn't seem to be her. Should I tell her before I ask my other friend ::

OP posts:
BunnyTeapot · 29/11/2018 09:41

If you're not religious why are you having godparents?

GMtoBe · 29/11/2018 09:42

If you aren't religious you don't need godparents so you don't need to worry.

Blanchedupetitpois · 29/11/2018 09:42

(Just a heads up, you’re about to be inundated with sanctimonious wankers telling you that only Christians can have god parents, because they’re incapable of understanding or accepting that the role has changed over the last few decades as Christianity has declined in this country).

I don’t think you need to tell friend 2 beforehand. If it comes up once you’ve made the decision, you can just explain that you felt friend 1 was more connected to your DD and that it’s about your DD’s relationships rather than your own. If she’s upset then she’s very unreasonable, and there’s only so much you can do to mitigate someone else’s unreasonable behaviour.

user1484424013 · 29/11/2018 09:48

Offended your having a christening when your not religious or have no faith.

Original poster
paige789 · 29/11/2018 09:49

@user1484424013 ok then 😂

OP posts:
Howhot · 29/11/2018 09:51

What's the point then?

Original poster
paige789 · 29/11/2018 09:52

@Howhot because it's not about me it's about my daughter. Just because people are christened doesn't mean the grow up and choice to be a Christian are you looking like it's 18th century or something ?

OP posts:
Huntawaymama · 29/11/2018 09:52

Do you have a different second God mother in mind? Typically girls have 2 godmothers and one godfather. If you've no one else in mind I'd just ask them both

Nesssie · 29/11/2018 09:53

You don't have to be religious to have godparents ffs

I'm willing to be that 80% of the comments on this post will be saying that, rather than answering the op...

ErickBroch · 29/11/2018 09:55

I think you are misunderstanding. Godparents are to do with Christianity, that's why people are asking. I am not sure why this would be an issue when you are not religious

FrancisCrawford · 29/11/2018 09:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyCassandra · 29/11/2018 09:57

Ignoring the fact that you are having a christening when you are not Christian Hmm
You ask your friend to be godmother, if the other friend asks why she hasn't been asked tell her you didn't think she was that interested in your baby.
HTH

Babdoc · 29/11/2018 09:57

The word “God” in godparent is a little clue to the role, Blanche!
The duty of a godparent is to oversee the child’s spiritual welfare, and assist the parents to raise it in the Christian faith.
In the C of E, I think you choose individual godparents. In the Church of Scotland our entire congregation take the vow to fulfil this role, although friends may stand beside the parents for the ceremony.
I echo the PPs, OP - if you aren’t a Christian, why and how will you take part in a solemn rite in our church, openly lie, and make public vows that you have no intention of keeping?
It would be like me gatecrashing the local mosque or synagogue- completely disrespectful and inappropriate!
Please think about what you’re doing, and why. If you’d like to explore genuinely joining the church, then you’d be very welcome, and your local minister or vicar would be delighted to have you at membership classes.

EyUpOurKid · 29/11/2018 09:59

I think it's more about why, if you have no intention of bringing a child up going to church/having a faith/needing a spiritual guide would you bother getting them baptised.

Have whoever you want, have one, have both. You can have four godparents anyway. No need for the drama.

Howhot · 29/11/2018 09:59

I couldn't make any sense of that OP.

If your DD wants to be Christian then surely she can chose that for herself when she is older. However your friend is an adult and is not a Christian, so it makes no sense for them to be a god parent.

Blanchedupetitpois · 29/11/2018 10:00

The duty of a godparent is to oversee the child’s spiritual welfare, and assist the parents to raise it in the Christian faith.

This is a convention, not a law. Many people now select godparents to be figures of support and guidance, without there being a religious aspect.

In a similar vein, many people celebrate Christmas despite not being Christian.

OP hasn’t mentioned having a Christening, so all of this chat about trashing sacraments is irrelevant.

LovingLola · 29/11/2018 10:03

I would imagine it's to ensure that there will be presents given at birthdays and Christmas. Nothing to do with faith at all.

Original poster
paige789 · 29/11/2018 10:06

@LovingLola I didn't even think of that but I guess it a bonus,
I don't need to explain why that's not relevant or anything to do with anyone els . 🙃
Thanks to the people answering my original question

OP posts:
BuffaloCauliflower · 29/11/2018 10:08

You get godparents at a christening. At the christening you and the godparents vow to raise the child in the Christian faith and guide the child spritually. Why would you do this if you’re not christian and aren’t going to raise the child Christian? It’s like making marriage vows to be faithful when you know you’re going to cheat the next week. Why make a vow you’re not going to keep?

Perhaps shelve the godparents thing you don’t actually believe in and just call them special Aunts instead?

Alfie190 · 29/11/2018 10:09

I have never heard of non christians having a christening before.

Not a Christian myself and not being a sanctimonious wanker, I have just never heard of it.

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