God parents of baby

[paige789]

So I'll try and make it short
I have 2 close friends from school and we normally do things all 3 of us...
I was close friends with both of them which is how they became friends.. I want to ask one of them to be god mother to my baby but I know the other one will be really pissed off.. but the one I'm asking has made a huge effort and I can tell she loves my baby and the other has only popped round once and I feel like that was forced just because she knew she had to see her although she is a good friend to me just doesn't make a huge effort with my children.. I don't want to upset her but I also don't want to not ask my other friend :/

When did I say I was having a christening ? Why do you think I kept saying it's going off track I don't need to explain any of this I was asking about god parents it's none of your business what why how who or where

YOU mentioned godparents.

That's like talking about a bride and groom and a reception and then suddenly saying, "there is no wedding, when did I mention a wedding?"

For Christians a Baptism or Christening is a very special thing. Depending on the denomination it is as serious as becoming a priest, not something you rock up at any old church and demand for your child.

Equally the role of godparent(s) is very serious and has a distinct meaning. Godparents are responsible for the spiritual upbringing of the child, they make promises, to God, on behalf of a child and in many denominations must themselves be baptised and often confirmed.

Some denominations allow sponsors, who are people of a different faith or are from a different denomination.

The confusion has arisen because the OP has used the word Godparent which has a specific meaning in Christianity to mean something else. So I'm out looking fo buy a cabbage and I ask the shop keeper for a cabbage but I really mean an orange. Confusion all round.

When the OP asks one or both of her friends to be a 'Godparent' it would be sensible to tell them what she expects otherwise they might be out looking for a nice new dress for a Baptism in church and they will be unhappy when it turns out the OP means something else entirely.

Define your terms as my philosophy lecturers would say.

To be practical is there going to be some sort of ceremony or party? If it is non religious who is going to do it? Or is this just giving a name to a role that means special friend?

If you work through what you want the friends to do or be then it might help to work out whether to ask one or both.

Clearly a confusion because OP didn't actually know what a godparent was, and had no idea it was to do with a Christening. Makes a lot more sense now!

The confusion goes both ways.

Neither baptism nor godparent are uniquely christian terms. Even the bible mentions non-christian baptisms.

Christening, well that one is different.

OP, forget about the Christian outrage here, do what you want for your DD. I think your friend, who you are sure is going to get the hump about this if not asked, sounds incredibly petty and childishly competitive. You could just ask her as well, I mean it’s also up to you if there is one godparent or 20! Or she’ll just have to suck it up, it’s not about her. Though not atheist, I’m not a Christian, but I use the term ‘god’ because it’s a recognised shorthand for whatever spiritual aspect we believe in. Simples! Or you may see it as more of a mentoring role than spiritual. Or you could name it something else, spirit-parent, whatever, but that would confuse the religious and we're back to cabbages and oranges while we argue about sky fairies...

Some friends of mine had a naming ceremony for their children, one side of the family is African and so that grandmother did the ceremony, it was part Christian as that was her faith, but also part African tradition relating to the specific country she was from. It was amazing, so moving each time, I cried buckets.

So where in the Bible is baptism used in a non Christian setting? I've just put the word through a biblical search engine and it only comes up with NT references. John the Baptist baptises and there is no Christianity yet but that's it.

The meanings of words do change but it is still confusing if I think Godparent means one thing because I happen to be a Christian and someone else thinks it is a nice name for special friend and then gets the hump of I buy my Godchild books of Bible stories.

Haven't rtft but if this isn't a religious ceremony have you considered having earth parents or similar. You can give them any name you want But they are the people you have chosen to support your child through their life.

I support my.god daughter in more ways than spiritual or in the way of religion

So where in the Bible is baptism used in a non Christian setting?

Not in the Bible ut Sikhs can be baptised. Obviously John the Baptist wasn't a Christian.

Aye. Godparent is much easier to say than Guardian, what with them both being three syllable words.

What is wrong with people today...and they're allowed to have children.

In my church our dc godparents had to be Christian. We actually already asked our friends and had to change them after the vicar said all godparents had to be baptised Christians and our friends were not. Not sure if that will help you make the decision.

So where in the Bible is baptism used in a non Christian setting?
There are several references to choose from, e.g. Matthew 3:13-17 clearly relates to an itinerant jewish preacher baptising a jewish adult male.

no one is stopping me going into a church and getting my daughter christened If I wanted too religious or not

This isn’t actually true OP lots of ministers and priests won’t Christen a baby unless they believe that the parents can make the vows sincerely.

Our current minister as well as the previous two would only Christen children of actively worshipping parents.

I attend a very old beautiful church, the minister won’t let you get married their unless you have an active connection to the church either. You can’t just book it like a hotel.

That aside as your friends aren’t actually making any vows does it actually matter whether you choose one or both?

TBF unknown guardian has a specific meaning too and it's one that my son's supportingguideparentgodparentadults aren't all on board with - I've only asked one of them to have him if me and DH die...

Not arguing the point Lonny, but the OP said she was "gunna" use the term godparent "because it's easier".

Which it isn't in any way, shape or form.

Have both friends as God parents

Matthew 3 13-17 is the baptism of Jesus by John the Baptist.

Baptism is an initiation ceremony which is why the font in a church is usually at the entrance of the church. It is about beginnings. If the church is one that baptises babies ( and not all do) then adults in the form of Godparents make the Christian commitment for the baby or child. The expectation is that the child will make the commitment for themselves later if they want to. This is confirmation.

These days it is the ritual and naming part that people want. So make your own up, invite as many friends as you like and have a fabulous time.

Strange that people are so keen to follow traditions and customs when they don't even believe in the basis behind them. Says something about human nature and the need for routine and conformity, I suppose.

I would think who might be like a guardian for your DD (just in case) and choose accordingly.
Also your other friend might go through difficult time at the moment, it could be a reason. If she’s a good friend I would ask her gently, maybe tell her that your other friend ask you to be a godmother, so she could offer herself as well.

@paige789 not all churches will baptise a dc who’s parents don’t plan to raise their dc as Christians. My church interviewed my dh and I and asked a number of questions about what we planned to achieve from the christening. If you don’t plan to raise your dc as Christians, maybe a naming ceremony would be better?

Anyone who behaves like your friend is not someone I’d like in my life

Let alone in my child’s life

Have both friends as godparents. It really doesn’t matter, since the term is meaningless in your situation.

OP sorry your thread got hijacked

I think you should go with your gut, and have your friend as godparent. Your other friend probably will be hurt but I don’t see a way around it. It’s not an easy one.

BTW I’m with you 100% that ‘godparents’ now has a looser meaning and doesn’t need to be religious. Same with Christmas and Easter and lots of other things that were once religious (even marriage!). Ignore the bullies

The OED disagrees with you
As John the Baptist wasn't a christian and the concept of baptism isn't regarded as a new or strange concept to the NT authors, I'd say the Bible agrees with me. But I guess we'll have to agree to disagree, it's not important enough to argue over.

(sorry OP)

@Alfie190 - If somebody said they were going to a synagogue or mosque because they thought it would be a nice day out to pretend to participate in one of their religious occasions I am sure there would be outrage.

If someone who is culturally Jewish or culturally Muslim participated in a religious occasion in a synagogue or mosque, I doubt there would be any major outrage.

Presumably the op is from a culturally Christian background so has chosen a christening rather than a Jewish or Muslim ceremony. While it doesn't have a religious significance, it has a cultural significance, which I think it's fine.