God parents of baby

[paige789]

So I'll try and make it short
I have 2 close friends from school and we normally do things all 3 of us...
I was close friends with both of them which is how they became friends.. I want to ask one of them to be god mother to my baby but I know the other one will be really pissed off.. but the one I'm asking has made a huge effort and I can tell she loves my baby and the other has only popped round once and I feel like that was forced just because she knew she had to see her although she is a good friend to me just doesn't make a huge effort with my children.. I don't want to upset her but I also don't want to not ask my other friend :/

If you're not religious then why would you have a christening and godparents?

If you DC want to be religious then let them choose that when they are old enough.

We're not religious. We had a naming ceremony and Odd-Parents.

The child can still decide not to be a Christian later, but the christening is about you raising them in the christian faith

@BuffaloCauliflower why do church's let non Christians christen their baby then 🤔 is their a law against it ? No
Why does it bother you so much

Because they’re vowing to raise the child Christian. As a Christian I think it’s offensive that you want to come into a church and make vows in front of God that you don’t understand and have no intention of keeping. You literally want to go into a church to lie! It’s a meaningful ceremony not just a chance for a party.

Would you make marriage vows with no intention of keeping them? No, because they have meaning.

Don’t get me wrong - I’d love you to come to church and learn and decide to raise your child a Christian, the more the merrier, but that doesn’t seem to be your intention

@BuffaloCauliflower you don't even know me how do you know what I do and don't know just because I'm not a 'christian'
This isn't my point to the post so I'm leaving it here

Why is Christian in quote marks? It’s a real thing you know.

You’re getting annoyed because you’re being told what a Christening actually is. Please don’t make a mockery of our religious practices by making vows you don’t believe in and won’t keep.

Remember also that different people have different likings for the different life stages. Some people will be interested in the child for all of their childhood, some lose interest once they stop being babies or toddlers full of cuddles, others find the babyhood stage boring but turn out to be excellent with children once they get to school age.

do think she defiantly would even more so if she knows my other friend is

She’d be defiant? She doesn’t sound nice.

Op- I get your issue I would just explain if she gets in a huff that your other friend is closer to your child.

Re the christening itself. I'm a catholic- I'm not practising or religious to be honest. But my kids are baptised as the local catholic schools are better

I totally agree with all the points raised in this chat. If you are not Christian and are not planning to raise your child as part of the Christian faith then you don't need a Christening or Godparents and to have either would be hypocritical. Make your own traditions don't steal Christian ones just because they are lovely. As others have said it's insulting to those of us who do believe wholly in them and who are Christians. I highly doubt you would go to a synagogue and join in one of their services just because you thought it was cute? It's pathetic

I thought it was the norm that you have two god parents of the same sex and one of the opposite. This only works if your baby is a girl and you don't mind having your less-interested friend as a second god mother...

It kind of is relevant, because you're worrying about how to not upset your friend and asking people on here for advice.

The best advice is just to not have any godparents, since you're not religious anyway! And then nobody will get upset.

OP, I was just thinking what PP has just said. If somebody said they were going to a synagogue or mosque because they thought it would be a nice day out to pretend to participate in one of their religious occasions I am sure there would be outrage.

This is just the same. Christenings are for Christians. The clue is in the name.

You a totally out of order and again, I am not a Christian.

The whole point of a christening, and of godparents, is that they help to raise the child in the Christian faith. The clue is in the names, really. I’m an atheist so my children aren’t christened. My best friend is a Christian so hasn’t asked me to be godparent to any of her 4 children, as she knows I don’t believe in god. Why would I be offended by that?

Have more than one Godmother then? Both of my children have two Godmothers and two Godfathers. We're Catholic and that is very common in Baptism.

Also if you're not Christian they are only going to be Godmother in name, so you won't be expecting them to carry our religious guidance.

A child can have more than one god parent, more than two , as many as you want. I think you answered your own question here when you say one friend doesn't bother with your child....

I had a secular naming ceremony for my DS with supporting adults. They all call themselves god parents because it's a handy shorthand which most people understand. There's no need for a pile on!

Anyway OP - you need to ask who you want to ask. If your friend isn't bothered with your baby, she won't expect to be a godparent. That said, you don't need to just have one or two you can have 3 - 4 iirc. But I don't think you should ask someone just to keep the peace!

If you want godparents for the sake of someone looking after your child if something happened to you, be aware that being a godparent isn't recognised by the law. It is purely a religious thing.

Well I had two godmothers and a godfather. It doesn't have to be one of each.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett she’s not having a secular naming ceremony and using godparent as a short hand though, she’s having a christening.

I'm not a Christian so honest question here- are non christians allowed to have a christening without the parents being christened or baptised?
Does the priest not have to say yes or no?

why do church's let non Christians christen their baby then is their a law against it ? No Why does it bother you so much
Actually in the churches in my parish (Church of Wales) godparents and parents are required to show Christening/Baptism certificates or provide dates to be checked in the register to allow them to continue.

Lonny’s idea is a good one.
I wouldn’t have a baptism or be a Godparent if I know I wouldn’t keep the vows I would have to make.