God parents of baby

[paige789]

So I'll try and make it short
I have 2 close friends from school and we normally do things all 3 of us...
I was close friends with both of them which is how they became friends.. I want to ask one of them to be god mother to my baby but I know the other one will be really pissed off.. but the one I'm asking has made a huge effort and I can tell she loves my baby and the other has only popped round once and I feel like that was forced just because she knew she had to see her although she is a good friend to me just doesn't make a huge effort with my children.. I don't want to upset her but I also don't want to not ask my other friend :/

Good Lord anyone can get their child christened if they choose too. I know people who are not christened and are more religious than the people who have been christened. It's not a law! The churches are happy with it. Some people are just silly op!

Just ask who you are comfortable with, it's your child, your choice.

At NO point have I even said I'm going to a church and getting my daughter christened but thanks for wasting my time in causing me to explain.... I'm not having a christening I was purely answering that non Christians can get there baby christened and people can do what they like ...
however I am having a name ceremony and would like god parents ...
really don't know why people are assuming and going off track just answer my original post or don't comment
@BuffaloCauliflower When did I say I was having a christening ? Why do you think I kept saying it's going off track I don't need to explain any of this I was asking about god parents it's none of your business what why how who or where

I was christened but haven't been a practising Christian for many years, but I'm with the Christians and others above who are a bit nonplussed that a non-Christian would want to have a Christian ceremony in a church. I don't understand why. I also don't understand a vicar or priest who would carry out this ceremony for non-Christians. It just sounds so weird.

Just ask friend number 1 who has made lots of effort with your baby/you can tell she loves baby.

it sounds like you would much prefer her as Godmother.

will the other friend definitely be offended if you don't ask her.

or alternatively, have 2 Godmothers- that way everyone is happy and your baby gets two of them!

But don't ask friend 2 if you are not keen for her to be Godmother, don't just do it out of obligation.

ambereeree it’s somewhat at the discretion of the vicar. Some are more strict than others. There’s no law against it, but ultimately the christening is vowing to raise the child Christian and guide them spritually. If someone has no intention of doing that they shouldn’t make that vow. It’s a moral issue rather than a rules one.

@bluerain

It is not silly to think. It is inappropriate and insulting to pretend to participate in religious ceremonies as a non believer of that religion.

If you aren't a Christian, why not have a Bar Mitzvah or the Sikh equivalent which is Amrit Sanchar? Seeing as you seemed to have picked a random religion that you don't follow, why Christianity?

If you’re not having a christening they’re not godparents - a godparent is an actual thing, a title with a meaning. You wouldn’t call someone your husband if you weren’t married. Call them special Aunty or something. Words have meaning, you can’t just change them to suit yourself.

@Alfie190 but some people are participants of that religion but just happend not to get christened as a child. It's not law it's religion.

You just don’t seem to realise you’re being disrespectful and it’s quite frustrating

I don't think you have Godparents at a naming ceremony. Aren't they guardians or something? I think you've maybe confused this unnecessarily OP.

@TidyDancer yeah which is basically the same thing I'm just gunna call it god parents cos it's easier

Bear in mind that in a baptism you are making promises on behalf of your child which will affect her whole life. It isn't just a nice ceremony, it's a sacrament. Things like, for example, how and who she can marry will have already been limited by your choice to have her christened.

If it is an actual christening rather than a naming ceremony, the godparents will have to be baptised (and in some churches confirmed), so if your friend isn't then she wouldn't be able to be a godmother.

That aside, if you believe in baptism then choose godparents who will be the best role model for your child, if you don't then you might as well choose anyone based on whatever criteria you want.

You're making a vow to raise the child in the church if that doesn't apply then just do a naming ceremony and make your mates fairy godmothers

@TidyDancer I thought that's just what they were called. I've not confused anything no one is stopping me going into a church and getting my daughter christened If I wanted too religious or not so technically I'm entitled to do whatever I want for me children however I wasn't going to. A god parent to me is someone who will always be in my child's life and look out for them am I not allowed to call it a god parent now unless I'm religious

I wrote the above before your update saying you're actually not having a baptism. In that case, call the people involved 'godparents' if you want, but since they're not really godparents you have to decide what you want from the relationship. It's not determined as the relationship of godparents to a godchild is. Whom you choose depends on what you expect the role to be. What do you want this 'godmother' to be for the child?

We’re not religious, but my daughter has four guide-parents or supporting adults, we didn’t have a naming ceremony in the end but lots of our friends have, they either say Naming Ceremony or Blessing. We call our daughters guide-parents godparents sometimes when we are mentioning it to other people, it’s easier than explaining it. I like that everyone is jumping onthe christening thing when it isn’t the question you asked!!!
I would ask the friend that’s made an effort, and I would speak to the other friend so she doesn’t feel it was done behind her back. I would say to her that I hope she understands, but the other friend has been really involved, and really loves the child and makes time, and if she then protests and wants to make loads of effort then I would probably say that I didn’t realise it meant so much to her and I would let her be one.
At the end of the day if it’s a naming ceremony or blessing then you get to pick however many supporting adults you want. Do what you want and don’t feel pressured.

I hope all of the posters that are condemning the OP's choices did not get married in a church if they were not practising Christians?

OP you've just made a mistake that's all, I don't think you've intended to offend anyone. Fact is though, Godparents are closely associated with a christening and if you're not religious it probably isn't appropriate for you to use Godparents. I've heard the title 'mentor' also used instead so maybe you could find an alternative word.

If you’re not having a Christening, it’s not godparents, so you’re not actually asking your friend to do or be anything - therefore nothing to worry about.

Please don’t use godparent when it’s not a godparent. Use guide parent, Aunty, whatever you like. You can’t just change the meaning of a word because it’s ‘easier’ it’s not easier, it’s just wrong.

Oh my do we really have to be so judgmental about this?

Godparents are there to support and love your child. Religious or not it's about your child and the people you think will always be there in the future

I am not religious and do not go to church yet my local vicar was delighted to christen my DS and welcomed everyone on the day and said it was about a community and family and friends coming together to support each other.

Go with who you want, your child so your choice and I hope you have a wonderful day

Some really rude posts here on both sides. I was baptised, I class myself as Christian, do I go to church? No. I do for harvest festival and nativity and I may take my children on Christmas Eve this year. My 6m old was christened two weeks ago, even the vicar said to me he didn't expect us to be in church, he explained these days Christianity is more about how you live your life morally and principally and how you act. He said in today's world its harder and harder to believe in God and jesus but the church is always welcoming to those who'd like to learn. I read my children bible stories sometimes and my 3yo and I talk about church and God but I give both sides of the argument to them.

@paige789 your church really should not be letting you get your daughter christened if not even one of her parents are Christian ? But regardless that's not the question! Don't bother telling her just send out the invites and ask who you want to ask!

When we christened our DD my stupid f**k wit MIL said we have to ask BIL ! We said we would think / talk about it as we only had one god father anyway and we would let her know (we didn't want him as god father) 2 days later get told from BIL he accepts the position ! She asked him for us !!! Do what YOU want, don't let anyone else influence you, who ever loves and take time for your daughter should be her god parent. Not just a 'good friend' to you x

If you’re not Christian and it’s not a baptism, surely you’re not tied by any ‘rules’ and can choose as many godparents (or whatever you want to call them) as you want? So why not name both friends and avoid the worry?