To think I hope this makes you think

[dontyouforgetaboutme]

But despair not. After a lovely evening with my old school friends, my best of friends, who'd travelled far and wide for our really lovely dinner in a very good restaurant in central London, I gave a beggar at Waterloo a twenty. I know she was conning me. I asked her repeatedly but she knew she was onto someone in the frame of mind to give. I told her I had to take this out of other budgets and to please spend it on food and a roof over her head. I know in my heart of hearts she won't. That she'll spend it on drugs. But AIBU to hope that some of my words sunk in and she'll think about that £20 and that as it was a sacrifice for me, she'll reconsider her options.

I'm being a dafty aren't I.

If someone is begging, surely they are a beggar. And not all people who beg are on drugs

Wow. In one evening you've patronised her AND us. Are you expecting a pat on the back or something as you sound very proud of yourself?

This x 100

I have a horrible feeling the slightly pissed up OP is passed out on her phone snoring. And will wake tomorrow realising she's made an awful twat of herself on MN

Definitely!

I don't think this thread has gone the way the op would have envisioned. I think she thought everyone would say what an incredibly generous, kind thing to do and that her amazing inspirational words could possibly make a difference...ha!

I wouldn't like to be OP this morning.
I wonder how the begger is doing.

Thos hasn’t quite gone the way you thought it would, had it OP?

Very patronising to stand there with a belly full of food and wine lecturing someone who “possibly” has nothing about what she should spend the £20 of your food budget that you we’re waving under her nose!

Just donated to Streetvet what a great sounding charity!

I honesty try to buy food or drink rather then give money. I’m not sure lecturing and kicking someone at their lowest is the best idea.

Also your op reads as “aren’t I wonderful, I gave a poor lady twenty pounds..lectured her about how much money I have and and sacrificing to give you!! Poor lady on streets who has nothing”

I hope your ashamed of yourself when you wake up! Because I would be.

I once gave a lad a £10 for shoes (many years ago now) he offered to come back and show me once he had got them. I said he didn’t need too. I think sometimes believing someone (if you can afford the money) is good.

You could have given it to Oxfam,

On second thoughts maybe not.

So all homeless people are on drugs??

I'm sure it wouldn't have occurred to her to spend it on a roof over her head so YANBU OP

The homeless beggars outside my office have hostel accommodation which provides a hot meal. We know this because we contacted the street team who put us in touch with their key worker.

The key worker said hostel places are available for those that want them.

They don’t use their hostel place because their drug supply patch is a tube journey away and they would rather spend that money on drugs and stay close to their begging / drug patch.

So we have to clean up shit, needles, people who arrive early have to negotiate belligerent semi-lucid people on tne doorstep.

Homelessness and drug use is complex. More professional informed support is needed. People bigging up their egos with £20 notes and then lecturing us on MN helps how?

I contacted a homeless charity regarding a homeless man whom I'd come across locally. They were quite upset with me for giving him money (only about £3) and pretty much begged me not to do that as it just makes their situation worse (they're unlikely to spend it on food). Thought I'd pass this on. It's much better to give food or a hot drink.

You done a good thing. If you decide to give then you give. It is not your business what it is spent on. Nobody says I want to be a homeless addict when I grow up. I regularly give cash to homeless especially women as it could stop them doing something dangerous like selling their body instead. It is nice to help others less fortunate and we should not judge.

I have a feeling the OP won’t be back. Ever.

I know she was conning me

But you gave her money anyway? What a mug.

LouiseiHope It is nice to help others less fortunate

Except you may not actually be helping, as genuinely meant as your gesture is.

Op reads as being written while very drunk.

‘I hope this makes you think’ yes Mama, we will be careful about who we gave our money too.

It makes me think... that you were patronising and judgemental towards someone who is having a hard time. Why the lecture?

I'm fascinated by the idea that the homeless woman was "conning" the OP
It's not as if she was claiming to be collecting on behalf of guide dogs for the blind ....

But if you knew she was conning you why be daft enough to part with a twenty, yes you're making me think !

I bet she’s really sorry that you giving her £20 means you may have less money for lovely meals in very good London restaurants .
Or not.

To all those going on about drugs; if you were on the streets, you'd probably take drugs too. Bunch of judgemental horrible people you are

I won't give to charity of any type out of my £18k per year full time job as long as there are multi-millionaires dodging tax.