To think I hope this makes you think

[dontyouforgetaboutme]

But despair not. After a lovely evening with my old school friends, my best of friends, who'd travelled far and wide for our really lovely dinner in a very good restaurant in central London, I gave a beggar at Waterloo a twenty. I know she was conning me. I asked her repeatedly but she knew she was onto someone in the frame of mind to give. I told her I had to take this out of other budgets and to please spend it on food and a roof over her head. I know in my heart of hearts she won't. That she'll spend it on drugs. But AIBU to hope that some of my words sunk in and she'll think about that £20 and that as it was a sacrifice for me, she'll reconsider her options.

I'm being a dafty aren't I.

I have a horrible feeling the slightly pissed up OP is passed out on her phone snoring. And will wake tomorrow realising she's made an awful twat of herself on MN.

FWIW I've worked with homeless people for a quarter of a century and I change my mind about this issue a lot. There are people I give cash to, there are people I buy a drink for, there are people I don't do either. Mainly based on overdose risk, what I know they do with money and overall knowledge.

I just can't stand the attitude that I can spend my money on wine but a homeless person shouldn't. Homeless people are cash poor, but people give food. Unbelievably, they have people to buy a gift for, a bus to catch, a phone to pay for, underwear to purchase. Money is good.

Let them eat cake.

And you can get a lot of it for 20 quid.

Fear not! OP has saved someone by giving them a twenty.
How kind

On Paul O’Grsdys For the Love of Dogs, there was a feature about a charity which paid for vets to check over homeless people’s dogs and treat them. Most homeless people do everything they can to feed and care for their dogs over and above themselves. For people with nothing, their dogs were everything.

I thought this was a wonderful charity, and if nothing else this thread has made me remember to donate. So cheers Op for the memory nudge!

Do our know what? I don’t judge a homeless person in the slightest if they spend anything they’re given on drugs (unless they have a dog to feed).

Do you know what it’s like to live on the streets? No? Me neither. But I can imagine it’s fucking horrible and you’d do anything to make those feelings go away.

So fuck off with your ‘just come from a nice restaurant and woe is me’ bullshit.

‘Our’ should be ‘you’. I posted in anger and therefore haste.

Have a nice day benefactor
I would suggest a bloody Mary if you're not too skint

You told her what to spend it on? You can’t pick and choose , either give the money and walk away or don’t but you can't lecture them!1

‘Beggar’ is a perjorative term and shouldn’t be used.

Next time you help someone, do it without the lecture. If she is a drug addict, your words will fall on deaf ears because addiction is an illness and a well-intentioned but patronising spiel about food won’t cure her of it. If she isn’t a drug addict, you’ve just talked down to someone in need and probably made them feel miserable about themselves.

If you’re going to give, give without strings. You aren’t making a positive difference by looking down on and lecturing people.

I does make me think, that you’ve been a bit of a twat. Either give the money or don’t buy don’t make homeless people sit through a bloody interrogation about their intentions and a lecture about how hard it is for you to part with your money.

It makes me think, but not in the way you expected me to...

I volunteer in a homeless related field.

If our service users turn up on drugs, they are not allowed in, which means they miss out on a free hot meal, the opportunity to have a shower and launder their clothes, time with an adviser re benefits and suchlike, some basic services like haircuts - and a few hours in the warm and dry, with other human company, off the streets. Repeat offenders will get banned for periods of time.

So no, it isn't just about getting high and making that day on the streets go a little easier, it can have repercussions. Also, piss off with the moralistic lecture too.

You're being a dafty OP but your hearts in the right place

I didn’t even understand the OP so everyone one else is one step ahead of me.

£20 is not enough to put a roof over her head? but it will have made her life a little easier for a few hours.

Did you post it on Facebook too about the wonderful thing you did? I hate it when a 'good deed' can't be done without having to let the world know what wonderful thing you did for someone else 🙄 next time leave the lecture out and don't seek validation for it, that way it would actually be a good deed...

What’s done is done, but as someone said earlier, that’s a fix she won’t have to steal or prostitute herself for

I agree with the judge

You gave her £20. It’s nice of you, but doesn’t give you some sort of moral high ground that allows you to patronise and lecture her. You haven’t a clue what she has been/is going through. As if she’ll have thought ‘well I was going to buy drugs to try and make this freezing hellish existence a tiny bit more bearable for a few hours, but the OPs wise words will make me really think I about getting a roof over my head and sorting my life out instead’

I'm sure you didn't mean to sound like you were looking down on her but I'm cringing for you.

I'm sure it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Just give the money ffs. She is in a much worse position than you. You don't need to outline how much better your life is at the same time. Let her spend it on what she wants. Like, you know, an adult.

It sounds like this is the only time you have given to a homeless person

well, what I got from the thread was the info about the vets who provide medical attention to homeless people's pets.

That's my christmas giving for this year! What a fabulous idea.

www.streetvet.co.uk/about/

Well I hope you're not going without food ect because you gave money away.
It might be different if you had it and if God stood in front of you and guaranteed she was going to spend it wisely.
Oh well there's no going back now is there.

Begger could be run by the numerous gangs who drop them off often with a dog or baby as a prop. So some criminal gets you cash.

Give the money to a charity