Husband shoving me

[MrsGB2225]

Been with DH 5 years, married 3 years, have 2 DS (3 and almost 1). I got pregnant shortly into the relationship. When I was pregnant/had the baby DH changed a lot. I’m not sure if I would have stayed with him if it wasn’t for DS. I did though and we are mostly happy.

Sometimes DH can explode. Mostly just shouting and slamming doors.

This afternoon the baby fell over and hit his head literally right in front of DH. DH was very slow to react and basically watched him fall. DH didn’t do this on purpose he just didn’t react fast enough. I said (in not an angry way) “oh DH name”.

He stood up shoved me hard, screamed a bit how I’m always blaming him and then stormed upstairs slamming doors and swearing. Both boys watched this.

I text and said I’m going to my parents tomorrow. He replied saying he didn’t hit me and I’m overreacting. He hasn’t apologised. We can’t talk properly until the boys are in bed.

Am I overreacting?

You're not over reacting and the fact he thinks it's ok because he 'didn't hit you' says a lot.

Nope.
Can you not go this evening?

Id reply " he didn’t hit me what and for that I should be grateful and accept any other physical abuse you choose to use?"

Id be fucked off if dh said to me what you said to dh, as it doesnt appear to be anyones fault so the blame was unecessary, however you dont seem to have a very happy marriage so id assume this is straw breaking the camels back type of situation. It also in no way excuses the shove. Nothing would.

I would call the police. He may not have punched/slapped you. He did do violence against you. He is escalating in his domestic violence and abuse.

Run, don’t walk away. He is getting worse.

No, you need to get away and stay away as soon as possible

You are NOT overreacting.

If a friend told you this about her dh would you tell her to leave & go to her parents?

No, you are definitely NOT overreacting!

This will not get better but will get worse (been there, had it happen to me).

Please get in touch with Womens Aid. You have to protect yourself and your boys because they are literally learning that this is how to treat women/how to behave in relationships.

Next time he probably will hit you. Run for your life and don't look back. Don't let your children grow up in this toxic environment.

Just read the first two messages and I’m already crying. It’s the classic thing where you hold it together and then someone is nice to you and then you cry.

I can’t go tonight as too much upset for the boys (it’s a long drive) and I don’t think he would do anything.

Im just interested in everyone’s opinions. He’s a clever guy, better at arguing than me. I need opinions/good responses to argue my case.

He’s an adult. He can choose to control his temper or move away. He’s choosing to shout and slam doors.
Now he’s getting physical. And blaming you for overreacting.
If he hits you next it’ll be “you made me”
He’s showing you who he is. Listen. And run.

You don't need to argue your case at all. You don't need his permission to leave.

You dont need to argue, just look after yourself and your boys.

You don't need to argue your case with him. It's not going to work.

You need to go to your parents as planned and get support.

Call Women’s Aid, read "Why does he do that?" by Lundy Bancroft, keep posting on here.

You don’t need to argue your case. Nobody should put their hands on you in this way. The fact you’re married doesn’t mean he can treat you like this.
Can someone collect you? If you were my daughter or even a friend I would take you.

While I wouldn’t say it’s very good I think some pp are well over the top. I would be annoyed but would get over it,

I Think pps are being ott aswell. the police? way ott imo, and will only end in an ss referral.

His behaviour seems to be escalating. You don't need to argue your case, you just need to leave

Also see
Signs of emotional abuse
Am I in an abusive relationship?
The Abuser Profiles

He shouldn’t have shoved you. He should apologize. I think you are sensible to remove yourself from the house.

He shoved you, screamed at you, stropped off out of the room slamming doors and swearing...

Ok, read that back to yourself, read it back to him....AT THE VERY LEAST... What sort of behaviour is he modelling to his children?

I'd be trying to show a toddler that this is unacceptable behaviour. Why does your husband think it's acceptable from a grown man, from the person who's supposed to love and respect you. You are not overreacting

You don’t need to be ‘cleverer’ than him. He was violent - that’s IT.

You can leave. You should. I’d go tonight if I were you.

@bababoo13

Are you serious? Someone pushing you in front of your children isn’t cause to leave?

Out of interest, how many incidents of violence are acceptable?

Has anyone ever been shoved and it not escalated into anything? It’s just I want to be sure before I break up the family.

Don't stay with this man op, he's an abuser. You'll get absolutely nowhere arguing your case or trying to make him see sense. He's been violent to you in front of your children- this WILL escalate

It’s already escalating. The slamming doors and shouting haven’t “kept you in your place”. So now he’s shoving you. Will it be a punch next or will he grab you by the throat?
If it was going to get better and not worse then he would be mortified by his shitty behaviour and prepared to do whatever it takes to ensure he never behaves like that ever again.
But no. He isn’t.