RANT lazy to for owning a dishwasher - MIL

[AiryFairyUnicornRainbow]

After years of saving, we finally re-did our kitchen 3 months ago. It didnt come easy, we had saved for a long time and inherited the old one 20+ years ago with the house)

Really proud of ourselves, and the first time the ILs came round, MIL was making comments about the dishwasher, and how it is lazy to own one. (We had never had one in our lives, but SHE has, she had one in her last house before she moved last year). Every time she visits she makes at least one comment

Lazy? I work 50+ hours a week and DH often much more.

She has been round this morning (and is still here) and whilst FIL is talking about other stuff, she is using her visiting time to belittle me (not us) about owning a dishwasher again

I'm currently sitting in the bedroom because to be honest I dont know what her problem is - and it is the least interesting topic in the fucking world

I wish she would fuck off, as I have got stuff to do, ironing etc, but I cannot face this total bollocks once again

I really wouldn't get worked up over it! Just tell her life's too short for washing dishes if you don't have to

Since she has got a dishwasher too, try smiling ( broadly) and saying something like "Yes, isn't it lovely to be lazy and not have to do them by hand ? Now, how about a nice cup of tea" and ignore her comments after that.

No help I know but this is what my mother said years ago when she walked in and saw I'd bought a tv that had remote control.

Like you, I wished I'd have thought of a witty reply instead of standing there speechless.

Pot, kettle and black spring to mind. If she's had a dishwasher for years, then why on earth is she criticising you? She sounds bonkers.

And congratulations on your lovely new kitchen - including dishwasher!!

I couldn’t get worked up about it tbh.

If someone wants to think I’m lazy for owning a dishwasher then I’d be quite happy to wear that tag.

If God wanted me to wash my own dishes he wouldn’t have invented dishwashers. .

There’s always someone who wants to take the shine off of things when you’ve worked hard to get yourself something nice. Ignore.

And your DH responds with..?

I expect you're using an electric iron too, and not just heating a flat iron from the fire? What, you have central heating and don't have a real fire!? ! And I bet you drive and don't walk everywhere?!! I agree with you MIL, you are very lazy :) ... I bet she doesn't use any labour saving devices at all?

Yeah I know dh is lazy mil but he's your son, you brought him up.

Buy her a mangle for Christmas.

So she doesn't have one now but she used to? So tell her she must have been burdened by the guilt of being so lazy when she had one.....and then explain that you, on the other hand, bought one because you care for the environment. Dishwashers are by a long way, better for the environment that hand washing. Tell her to go Google it. Express your concern and shame that she isn't concerned for the environment her precious grandchildren will inherit. Look patronisingly at her whilst slowly shaking your head...

There's nothing lazy about owning a dishwasher. I am currently saving up for one. I can quite frankly find other, better uses for my time.

Dishwashers use less water and are more hygienic than washing up by hand. Also a massive time saver, unless you never cook so only have a few plates and cutlery and no cooking pots etc.

How many hours a week do MIL and FIL work between them? If it's less than 100+, then who's the lazy ones?

Does she drag her laundry down to the river then put It through a mangle?
I'd never be without a dishwasher.

It’s the most boring conversation in the world I agree. But I usually say you simply cannot get water hot enough to make dishes hygienic by hand. Or they use soo much less water it much nicer environmentally. Or variations but what a weird bloody thing to talk about and hand washing dishes s a pain in the area.

What a bizarre thing to for her to say. I think just behave as though she was suggesting owning any other ordinary household appliance was lazy. It’s not lazy to have a fridge/freezer/washing machine/tumble dryer/vacuum/microwave/kettle and it’s not lazy to have a dishwasher. It’s her strange quirk so don’t feel bad or defensive. I might say something like ‘it’s a perfectly normal household appliance’ and then leave her to it.

She's probably missing hers and taking it out on you. Just smile sympathetically next time she says it, give a little head tilt of concern and say 'you wish you still had one don't you?'

What does she say when you pull her up for previously having one?

Yes, why do people say having a dishwasher is lazy but never say the same about automatic washing machines? Same thing in my book.

Ah. But you have ironing to do when it seems all of mn refuses to ever iron clothes.

Tbh by the time you've unloaded it, reloaded it, bent down to retrieve cutlery that missed the basket, added detergent, pressed some buttons, well it's more like a workout

Why can you not say to her, very calmly - "Why do you think it is lazy?" and see what nonsense she comes up with.

then say to your husband in her presence, your mum thinks we are lazy to have a dishwasher, what do you think?

etc.

My goodness there are some awful mother in laws on Mumsnet. You'd think she's be pleased and proud for you with your new kitchen. I am a MIL and not overjoyed with my SIL but keep my views to myself.

Good idea @Chamomileteaplease

Or even say to your husband in her presence 'Your mother thinks YOU are lazy to have a dishwasher. Do you agree?'

"It all depends what you do with the time spent not washing up, doesn't it? If you spend the time saved sitting with your feet up criticising other people then yes that would be lazy. If you spend it earning a living and doing all the million other things that need doing then it's just sensible"