DH left me at the hospital

[Mummytowooter]

Woke up early hours of Saturday with lower abdo pain. Spent 6 hours in A&E last night. Finally discharged at 0330. Never really settled and still in pain (sharp stabbing) so asked DH to bring me back to A&E. We have DD(5yo), only child. I asked him to come with me (I was alone overnight as DD at home asleep), no other local relatives to help or come and keep me company. Anyway, he’s told me he’s not staying aaa he doesn’t want to sit in A&E with DD! If it were him (and it has been in the past, dislocated shoulder then surgery) there’s not question I would sit with him with DD and keep him company.

I feel like i don’t matter to him. I’m a grown adult and capable of sitting in A&E by myself but I’d asked for his support and i don’t feel I’ve got it.

He’s not a bad husband. Can be a bit selfish at times but we loveeach other very much. It just seems like everything is too much trouble.

I’m in pain, not slept for over 24 hrs other than cat naps, tearful and scared. AIBU?

I'm really sorry you're in pain and feeling vulnerable, but A&E is no place for a 5 year old (unless they are the patient) is it? I think your DH has done the right thing under the circumstances, although he maybe hasn't shown as much sympathy as you would have liked.

A and E is no place for a 5 year old who doesn't medically need to be there. I think your husband is doing the right thing.

YABU The hospital will look after you and he has to prioritise your DD. I am just out of hospital. They are no place for DC. My DH stayed at home with our 3.

If you didn't have a five year old, I'd say he was unreasonable not to be there, but A and E is not the place for a five year old and they only discharged you six hours ago, you'll sit there for another 5-6 hours only for them to discharge you again. What did they say it was last night?

Ok thank you x

I know it isn’t and I think I’m just feeling a bit neglected

I’m sorry you’re poorly and wish you well but YABU. It’s winter, there are more bugs than usual, your child shouldn’t be there.

I couldn't think of anything I would want less than my DH sitting in A&E with a bored child.
And believe me I've spent a lot of time in emergency care recently.

Why put DD through it? I don't see the point of two adults being bored and taking up two chairs, let alone a child as well!
How old is she?

YABU.

I’m sorry you’re in pain but I do think he’s right here. Waiting around a and e with children is hard work.

Sorry I missed that she was 5.

You're not being neglected, your DH is being totally sensible.

Poor you, hope you feel better soon. Have I understood correctly that he has gone home with DD? If so, I think he has done the right thing to take her home to look after her there. Whilst I understand it must be scary for you, waiting around for hours in A & E and then going through the whole examination proces, waiting again, investigations etc is nowhere for a 5 year old to be. So I'd say you are - understandably though- being YABU. If he's left the 5 year old with you then YANBU!

I've sat through the night in A&E with my DP. What I saw and heard was shocking and scary for me as other patients arrived in various states, I'd hate for a 5 year old to witness it.

I’m sorry you’re feeling awful, and if there was no DC or DC could go to someone else then yes he should stay with you, but it’s not fair to keep a 5 year old sitting around in A&E for hours for no reason.

I’m sorry you don’t feel well but your husband is completely right - A&E is not the place for a small child.

Have they said what they think it is?

I wouldn't want my 5 year old in A&E, bored and picking up bugs.

Your husband is absolutely right. I’m sorry you’re not well OP, but you’re an adult. You don’t need someone to hold your hand in A&E.

Did they tell you to come back?
Don't put a child through it. I have had a nightmare of a week sitting in a and e and walk in and lots else for hours. If I had had a small child to entertain/ keep quiet it would have driven me over the edge

I’m sorry but yabu. Hospital is no place for a 5 yo unless they need to be there. I’m sure he would have come with you if there was someone else to look after the child.

I was in a&e with asthma (came on suddenly in pregnancy) and my husband stayed at home with our 1 year old because we have no one to look after him. It’s never nice being in by yourself but sometimes it’s the only way.

Hope you feel better soon

Bless you, you need a cuddle and a hand hold cause even grown ups get a little unreasonable when tired. Do you have a friend who could come and sit with you?

I realise you're in pain and scared but you can't expect a 5 year old to hang around A and E for hours.

Thanks everyone. Totally accept that I’m being U.

They don’t know. The Dr last night tried to tell me I have gastroenteritis 🙄. I know I haven’t got that without TMI. They said I’d need a pelvic scan and would arrange. Truth be told I’m. It sure what else they could do this morning but the pain is so bad at times. It’s literally like I’m being stabbed with a knife 😩

You are being quite selfish expecting your 5yo to suffer through an A&E waiting room completely unnecessarily. It would be completely different if it was just you and DH but you have DC to think about now which should be your first priority. Your DH is being completely reasonable here.

You are completely unreasonable expecting him to be there with your 5 year old!

He is right but sometimes I think the difference in how you feel can be the way the message is delivered and worded, especially when you are feeling unwell and needing a bit of tic. Maybe you can explain that to him?

Sorry for typos. I’m knackered