To stop sending my child to nursery cause they allow him outside

[O8O818]

here me out, I hope I'm not being PFB but I am so fed up with my child's nursery. Time and time again I've said he is not to be outside, but nobody listens! Each day he comes home caked in mud, all up his back, caked on his shoes, not wearing any gloves or a hat, some times not even wearing his wellies just his indoor shoes! Its Baltic. On Friday I went to collect him and they said he was outside making hot chocolate... with the mud he was rolling around like a pig in shit but he was covered from head to toe, in his hair, his ears, his back from when another kid through a mudball at him I don't know whether I'm overreacting though? Aibu!!

Think the OP is telling us porky pies...

Why do people always complain that others don’t read all the post? I don’t have time to read every post so just read a few normally but I still like to contribute if I feel the need,

I can't speak for anyone else but it annoys me because people are clearly only reading the OPs first post, and things have moved on since then. I can't stop people commenting (nor would I want to) but do people really think that after 570 messages their comments about wearing an all in one, that nursery sounds great, and mud is fantastic are unique or helpful?

OP I am sorry you are getting such a hard time from people who are not reading the thread.
I completely understand the stress of trying to juggle 3 dc and a job. Especially under threat of sanctions if you don't prioritise the job. I am guessing you only have your mum for support. If I am wrong, I apologise.
The nursery sounds dreadful and your ds is being neglected.
I hope you will be able to find a good childminder who will look after him properly.

Sb74

Are you for real? Did you cancel the cheque?

Do you really, really not get the idea that threads move on, and that a point that has been asked and answered dozens of times does not need re-stating? Especially when it is not the real issue with the nursery (which you would know if you had read at least the OPs updates)

(Worst example was when people kept offering diet tips to someone whose bloating thread had turned in to a cancer diagnosis thread. Sometimes basic consideration really matters)

Re commenting without reading the thread. Maybe if OP's didn't drip feed it wouldn't happen? I've not read all the thread, who really has time, but I can gather that the post has gone from the child being let outside to play originally to now he's outside on his own, then he's not got a coat on, will there be lions next? Give the full story in your post to start with and all this will be avoided, simples

Even if people don't have time to read the whole thread, it only takes a couple of minutes to read the OP's posts.

Agree with Tessabelle1. Not to mention the main day in question the child was wearing both wellies (pictured) and a coat. Referring back to the day he had a hoody as that was he had been sent with on that day. She confirms on other occasions apart from that incident that yes he does wear a coat. The fact he’s playing alone totally unsupervised is mentioned as so much of an after thought that I feel it’s very much exaggerated otherwise surely the AIBU would be to remove child from nursery as he’s left to play outside unattended. Happen if he was the only child choosing to be outside in a free flow nursery then having one staff meneber our solely to watch him takes away from the others inside. Could well be that one staff member was just inside but watching closely.

We lived in Germany where they always take the young children at Kindergarten out in all weathers. Parents buy waterproof dungarees and a warm sweater with wellies and a waterproof coat, also hat, scarf and gloves if necessary. It's so good for their well-being, health, imagination and playing outside is so much fun! Lidl and Aldi sold the dungarees for less than 10 Euro.

Also, I think that sometimes, when a person is under extreme stress, it is difficult to get all the information across in an articulate fashion in the first single post.
Responses and questions can assist the OP to identify and expand on the issues.
I have been under prolonged, extreme stress and tbh I have days when I can't string a sentence together, but over the course of a conversation I can unravel my thoughts.

I have read all your comments here. I would encourage every child to play outside mud or not it's a really important part of their health and development. My concerns here are 1) why you as a mother don't want him to play outside? 2) Why you object to him getting muddy-dirty etc. 3) Why the blame for everything lies at the feet of the nursery. 4) do you allow your child to play outside, go in sand pits, the park etc and get dirty?
You state that you supply him with appropriate clothing, which you also state the nursery fail to use, again why?. Your child is not the only child do other parents complain? Does your appropriate clothing take time for the nursery to use, they do after all have other children there. Have you thought your child probably loves being outside regardless of weather conditions, perhaps he was having a great time on Friday and didn't want to come in. The nursery must have a safe secure play area so that shouldn't be a problem in the short term. If your child is happy, then you should be happy.
Please don't think I am employed by a nursery, I am not in fact I'm far to old just a sensible grandparent.

@kateryan

But are you the kind of sensible grandparent that lets a 2 year old play unsupervised in inappropriate clothing? That's the issue, not a bit of mud.

There's some total reading comprehension fails on this thread.

kateryan

You say you've read all the comments but don't mention

• The child's additional needs
• Being outside without a staff member

And claim the Op doesn't want him outside when actually:

• The OP doesn't mind him being outside (If dressed appropriately)

• That he gets outside in his own garden, has a playhouses, sand pit, slide, swing, bikes and scooters.

^Also, I think that sometimes, when a person is under extreme stress, it is difficult to get all the information across in an articulate fashion in the first single post.
Responses and questions can assist the OP to identify and expand on the issues.^

Yes you have expressed exactly how I feel about the OP’s situation. It’s not drip feeding at all but rather a conversation which has, I hope, enabled OP to get to the heart of what the actual problems are.

I am not going to justify my comments as I don't expect others to justify theirs. I read the threads on this page. Yes I am a sensible grandparent and parent, mine have and do play in our garden unsupervised and sometimes in inappropriate clothing or shoes. I know they are safe, happy, learning, and I can hear and see them. Restricted play is not play. Mine have grown into responsible adventurous adults with children of their own, and, they trust me 100% with their children. Please I refer to the child's parents thread (sorry if I didn't make that clear). I really have no comment on other peoples replies, just giving my opinion as has everyone else. I have not judged anyone here and expect the same respect. Thank you .

@Sb74

Why do people always complain that others don’t read all the post? I don’t have time to read every post so just read a few normally but I still like to contribute if I feel the need, mainly based on the first few posts of the op. Don’t know why people get rattled by this, it’s a free country!!

It is indeed your prerogative to look stupid to those who have read the thread.

Posting without RTFT means you're derailing what could be a useful thread for the OP. Particularly on this thread, with so many useless contributions.

Finally, other pps are also free to get rattled and tell you off.

Kateryan, if you have read all OP’s posts you have either had a spectacular comprehension fail or you have forgotten what she said in the earlier ones by the time you got to the later ones!

Does your appropriate clothing take time for the nursery to use, they do after all have other children there.

Do you seriously think this level of neglect is fine because staff are too busy looking after other children?

Bit melodramatic to say someone is derailing a thread if they’ve not read full post!! I’m not really bothered how I look if I don’t have time to read everything but want to post that is my choice. Bit rude to write off people’s posts!! Everyone is entitled to say what they like within reason. Even if it’s not groundbreaking!!!!

Katyryan, sorry to nitpick, but after saying you read Op’s posts, you went on to ask 4 questions, 3 of which OP had already answered in her posts. Your other question regarding blame lying with the nursery; where else would the blame for what happens in nursery lie exactly?

Bit melodramatic to say someone is derailing a thread if they’ve not read full post!!

If you had read the fucking thread, you'd know you were one of many similar pps.
That's what derails the thread.
You may be just one, but one by one it makes many and renders the thread almost useless, not to mention annoying to those who actually want to contribute to the OP's actual issue.

And, yes, it's clear you don't care how it makes you look. Have a medal.

Bit rude to write off people’s posts!! Everyone is entitled to say what they like within reason. Even if it’s not groundbreaking!!!!

1. seriously, RTFT, and you'll see why you got the replies you got

2. hypocrite much? Why are you complaining of pps saying what they like?

Renders the thread useless? Jesus, get perspective, we are not negotiating Brexit here!! I don’t know why you think you have right to dictate how threads should be managed. We are not working towards KPIs at work here!! It’s an open social media forum so suck it up!! I don’t have time to read everything as I’m sure many others don’t. I am still allowed to express my opinion even if it’s isolation to other comments on the thread. The only way an out-of-date comment could de-rail a thread is if all subsequent readers were also not up-to-date and did not read the full thread, otherwise they would know to ignore such a fatal error!! Let’s get over ourselves. I have enough to keep track of in my life and work so I’m certainly not going to worry if I’m fully up to date on here before I write a comment l!! That, I might add, I’m just as entitled to write as anyone else. Ignore it if it causes such offence in your life. I’m sick of people whingeing about this as if we get paid for this or something! You don’t make the rules.

And the irony of all this is the ones actually derailing the thread are the ones moaning that others are derailing the thread!! Ha ha!!

I’m sorry people have been absolute idiots on this thread OP. I hope you’ve managed to get enough useful advice that it’s balanced out the self satisfied stupidity of others

It isn’t rude to write off people’s posts if they haven’t read the thread. How can you contribute anything of value if you haven’t followed the conversation? If there is a long thread I either read it and see if I have anything sensible to contribute (if it’s just repeating what 30 people have said already, then the answer is no) or don’t bother. Simply adding some inane illl considered thought at the end in the bizarre belief that you have some groundbreaking insight that hasn’t occurred to anyone else previously is odd. Some threads don’t feel like a conversation and this is one of them. They suffer for it and become hopelessly tedious. Surely nobody would consider jumping into the end of a long conversation in real life they have missed without making any effort to gauge what has come before?!

Ok to sum it up -
I do provide a jacket, but when I cannot get it washed and dried the next day, I mean with two other children who actually can? He goes in a hoody those days I wish he wasn't sent out.

• he wore boots on Friday, as I had no other footwear left for him. on other occasions the boots are dropped off with him but not worn
• I have provided an outdoor suit, it is also not worn
• he is left alone I've been told by the staff that he is. maybe not for long, they never did specify. upon collecting he is always alone outside. no other kids are wearing outdoor wear so it appears he is the only one.
• I do not mind if he plays with mud but I don't like him jumping in it, to the point it is in his ears!
• we have a massive garden, with heaps of toys, I do allow him outside. Frankly he is outside more than in!
• don't nit pick, it's baltic
• I have a meeting at the nursery tomorrow and I'm awaiting a call back from the care inspector people, I will spend Thursday and Friday looking at a childminder option.
• yes I believe the nursery are at fault for not helping him with suitable clothing. If they left him in a dirty nappy, is that not their fault? Or is it my son's for simply not being able to manage it for himself?