To stop sending my child to nursery cause they allow him outside

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here me out, I hope I'm not being PFB but I am so fed up with my child's nursery. Time and time again I've said he is not to be outside, but nobody listens! Each day he comes home caked in mud, all up his back, caked on his shoes, not wearing any gloves or a hat, some times not even wearing his wellies just his indoor shoes! Its Baltic. On Friday I went to collect him and they said he was outside making hot chocolate... with the mud he was rolling around like a pig in shit but he was covered from head to toe, in his hair, his ears, his back from when another kid through a mudball at him I don't know whether I'm overreacting though? Aibu!!

His speech for a start, he sometimes gets floppy arms, other times they go stiff. His feeding tube was only removed this time last year.
No my mum wouldn't be able to cope

Easy just buy more wellies and send him in with a very thick jumper.
Tell the staff you have heard he is outside alone... Why?
Do make a complaint about throwing mud... In writing as they have to record letters.

I really would look at a childminder. At 2 being around kids his own age is not essential and he may be anyway at a cm. Worry about socialising him a little later, he would do a lot better with a caring cm than this (and still be around other kids).

crimsonlake
He is the only child outside most of the time he is there, unsupervised, in indoor shoes and clothes covered in mud. How the feck is that 'great'?
The staff and other kids are all inside as its too fecking cold!

Actually its nurserys responsibility to ensure the children have appropriate outdoor clothes on its er how do i put this....thier job, its part of the care standards.
RTFT

I haven't had time to read all of this but I would be v unhappy as well esp as your child has some additional needs if I am reading this right ?
I would report to Ofsted or whoever inspects nurseries and escalate it as it sounds neglectful to me and I would have concerns under the circumstances. Yanbu in the least in my opinion. I am all for messy play but he needs to be dressed appropriately.

He’s a child, he should be brought in to play with the other children, not left out in the cold in his own.

I simply don't believe a nursery leaves a 2 year old out to play on their own. Weird thread.

Filthy, my neighbour has an older child who used to tantrum a lot but went to the same nursery years back, he'd get put into a separate room! But she said there was often somebody watching.
Another parent filmed it happening on a few occasions so definitely not bs.
Don't believe me that's fine but it's what I've been told from the staff, they almost see it as a treat that he is so good he gets to be out there alone

There are some crap nurseries out there. Same as any other business.

user what options does op have?
There is only one other nursery which he cant go to until he is 3 and her son has SALT worker seeing him at current nursery. His support from them is pretty important to him and op.

Not everyone lives in a largely populated area with a choice of 10 nurseries. If you live in a rural area your options are limited.

His speech for a start, he sometimes gets floppy arms, other times they go stiff. His feeding tube was only removed this time last year.

Then frankly it's all the more worrying that they leave him unsupervised. I think it's gone beyond just talking to the staff, I think you need to issue an ultimatum that this situation is stopped immediately or you will making a full complaint to the regulatory body. The response regarding offering 1:1 to other children given your DS additional needs is absolutely incredible.

If you are worried about delayed speech development then this setting doesn't sound like the best way forward. Talk to your HV about other ways to access speech and language therapy. Our council doesn't require attendance at a specific nursery to access this. A decent CM will also likely be able to facilitate and may well have previous experience. At age 2 language development needs lots of interaction with people competent in language (adults, older DC) ie not other 2 year olds and not playing outside on your own.

Socialisation also doesn't happen much except between siblings before at least age 3. In fact even at age 3 it is mostly parallel play rather than interactive.

At my nursery we have a board of photos of clothes that need to be on before they can go out depending on the weather so this time of year it has cost, wellies, gloves etc. I would never ignore a parents request for what they wear outside, it is your child and your choice esp if you are sending it in! We go outside in all weathers but change when back in if dirty or wet. We def don’t allow mud rolling as it’s not necessary but other play inc mud kitchen very much allowed. You already know this but this nursery are failing your child in so many ways. You need to meet with the manager and discuss your concerns, plus give her a written copy of your concerns and ask her what she intends to do about each point raised.

Then frankly it's all the more worrying that they leave him unsupervised. I think it's gone beyond just talking to the staff, I think you need to issue an ultimatum that this situation is stopped immediately or you will making a full complaint to the regulatory body. The response regarding offering 1:1 to other children given your DS additional needs is absolutely incredible.

This. Very much.

Will people please stop using "RTFT" as a way of saying "shut up if you don’t agree with me."

Op if the SALT person visits the nursery to see your child there is no reason why they cant visit a Cm

And a cm setting would mean much more attention and input to assist with things he finds difficult.
Many cms have kids with sen or disabilities and work to personal learning logs.

In a smaller setting its easier to pick up your childs strengths and weaknesses and work on them.
2yr olds dont play together much they play side by side and a cm can use thier time to facilitate play that helps a child as well as free play time to observe them.

Its just a thought. Maybe spesk to local cms to see hiw they could accommodate your child.
I worked with a variety of other professionals for years when i was cm.

Will people please stop using "RTFT" as a way of saying "shut up if you don’t agree with me."

I don't believe anyone who has said RTFT has done so as a way to stop posters commenting who they disagree with. More so to highlight that the issue of muddy clothes isn't the most pressing issue. There's only so many times you can see people comment that the OP should buy a waterproof all in one, or that mud is good for children.

Threads move on, and if people can't be bothered to at least read the OPS posts (which are highlighted) before commenting then their comments are not going to enhance or add to the discussion.

itsabout

No Rtt is for all the posters who have Not read the thread and are repeating over and over how great it is that a 2yr old gets to go out side compleyely missing the point that this 2yr old with extra needs is being left outside in the cold, no coat on, on thier own, to roll in mud while all the staff and other kids are inside because 'he is so good we can do other stuff with other kids and not bother about him'.
90% of the Rtft posts are telling op to buy him waterproofs! She does provide them but staff dont bother with them.

Its cancel the cheque all over again.

YABU. Child development is more important than laundry. Kids need to be outside.

Was fully expecting to say you were 100% unreasonable but it does seem excessive that he's throwing mud and rolling in it. They wouldn't be allowed to do that in reception so I think that's too far!

YABU. Child development is more important than laundry. Kids need to be outside.

And another one...

Willow and lewji thank you. You've both been the most helpful, I am now realising that maybe this isn't the best place for him to be. I've put far too much focus on the mud and not enough on the other very gray areas.
This place was perfect when we went to view it, they were so accommodating (at the time we thought his tube might need to go back in) they were so patient with him, they do outdoor trips and my son was always put into a mobility chair that had bags attached to it to helps his stiff arms, home made cooking, it was just brilliant and I think I've allowed it all to slip. I realise now that the standard of care isn't all that brilliant, even on the inside upon collecting him I've witnessed some things but if I take him out, I'd be stuck but I will explore a childminder option

I blame the full moon IceRebel
😁😁😁

"...the issue of muddy clothes isn’t the most pressing issue here...."

Anyone who has read the thread could be forgiven for thinking it was the main issue. Within two minutes of starting the thread, the OP writes: "I don’t mind him playing outside but does he need to be rolling in mud?"

Since which, we’re treated to dozens of MNers jumping on to paint a picture of the world’s worst nursery, based more on their own imagination than any solid evidence.

YABU. Children are supposed to play out and get muddy, it's all part of being a child.

Anyone who has read the thread could be forgiven for thinking it was the main issue. Within two minutes of starting the thread, the OP writes: "I don’t mind him playing outside but does he need to be rolling in mud?"

OP posted that at 07:00:53

Just 3 minutes later at 07:03:59 she posted

Oh yes he was unsupervised on Friday as all the teachers are inside with the other kids.

It didn't take too much time for her to identify that there were other more serious issues.