Would you charge family for Xmas dinner?

[Staceyjas]

AIBU to think you should ask family to pay for their Xmas lunch?
My partner has just told me
Me that his mother who he's having Christmas lunch with said she wants £17 per head from him!I'm going to my family's for lunch so invited him also but he has had it there all his life with his grandparents and siblings too. she said she doesn't want to do It all from scratch and wants to Get it all pre done so it's more money, which I understand but he's gutted and feels like he wants to come to my family now. I can see it from both sides and it's hard work and can be expensive but not like she is financially destitute.

this has never happened before and he has offered to bring the dessert etc but he said handing over cash just feels wrong. As he says it's about family not money but I wanted to see what other people's opinions are ? Or if you do this.
Thanks

Oh and I know £50 sounds like loads, but everybody comes to mine for breakfast and Buck's Fizz etc, my dad always sticks a crate of beers for himself in the trolley, wants Christmas pud and something else, likes 2 meats, a variety of quality street for munching in the evening etc. It probably doesn't come to £50 still but realised how excessive that sounds when everybody is pearl clutching over £17

It’s on my local south west news site too - but don’t worry barely anyone reads it except to help them with typos and correct reporting mistakes 😉

I wouldn't no but people are different,it's also made the daily mail too. I wonder how OP is 🙈

Now on BBC R1 Facebook page and my local news (Hull)

No - if you're hosting Christmas dinner then you are hosting it, we never had a lot of money but the whole family always came to us for Christmas dinner when the children were younger, but I wouldn't dream of asking them for money for it. For one thing, it might not be what they would order if they went out to Christmas lunch. Its a menu that I have put together and we don't eat meat, so they have to eat a non conventional Christmas dinner, but in the end it was always nice to have everyone around, that's what its supposed to be about?

If OP's partner would rather go to her parents then why not just do that? or sod it and just have lunch together then visit both parents in the afternoon - sorted!

OP you are front page of BBC website right now!

www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-46345677

I wouldn’t dream of not contributing.
If I was to be staying at home and making a Xmas dinner it would come to a lot more plus would be cooking.
I have always contributed to cost

I would suggest that they should host Christmas dinner for both families and after that decide whether asking £17 per person is reasonable.

I would never dream of charging any of my children for Christmas dinner. Christmas is about giving, sharing and showing love to all especially your loved ones. It's a mum's pride and privilege to have all her family around for Christmas dinner, yes it's hard work we all know that, but when you see the look on their faces, that's all the thanks any mum needs.
Family is about sharing, christmas is about giving. Selling food is about commerce. However small your means are, the joy of being together should be top of your list.

but when you see the look on their faces, that's all the thanks any mum needs.

Oh God, I'm going to vomit

It's a mum's pride and privilege to have all her family around for Christmas dinner, yes it's hard work we all know that, but when you see the look on their faces, that's all the thanks any mum needs.

Very funny

And remember to put yourself on the shitty forgotten chair dragged down from the loft and serve yourself a half portion and then your martyr halo is complete.

I suspect that the look on OP’s partner’s face is permanently that of a petulant child.

It's a mum's pride and privilege to have all her family around for Christmas dinner, yes it's hard work we all know that, but when you see the look on their faces, that's all the thanks any mum needs.

Actually, all the thanks I need is for my husband to do half the work with me. Which he does, to the shock of his own mum, who swallows your garbage.

I think you’re being mean. That poster is of a generation where they were “just Mum” and therefore all pride and satisfaction had to come from their families faces, there was nothing else for them. Rein it in.

0P your thread has just been referred to on BBC Radio Newcastle. Apparently it was going to be a discussion item later in the programme.

Oh, give over five. As if. Old school sahms would have frog marched you into the garden if you couldn't muster up any more thanks than a smile.

Nope, but if I was mega skint we'd all provide a part of the feast. I wouldn't accept an invitation which required payment either, xmas doesn't need to be expensive or stressful.

Was on heart sussex at 8am this morning,... 😊
There are 8 people living in our house. We all pitch in for Christmas. We have a house nectar and co-op membership card so we all use it when we go shopping throughout the year, by Christmas there’s usually £50 on each of them. We use the money on the cards to buy the Christmas food. My mum also gets vouchers for m&s from her credit card which also goes towards Christmas. We would never think of charging anyone and we always wave them off If they offer to pay,

I don’t know - it depends on the family circumstances re money I guess? We have a big dinner - everyone goes to my grandmothers house for Christmas and historically she’s always paid the full amount - she refuses any money but will take any help before hand (carrying/shopping/tidying house) - she has a lot of children and even more grandchildren 😅 - she’s a superstar for even cooking for that many to be honest!!

Where's the op gone?

Probably being interviewed for the lead story on tonight’ News

Imagine finding out that your miserable son begrudges chipping in to the cost of Christmas dinner from four different news sources?!

Where's the op gone?

Probably writing their newspaper story now they have dozens of tales of cost division.

I always do Christmas Lunch, every year since we've been married. I would not dream of charging anyone; they are our GUESTS! My dad and mum always want to contribute but I only ever accept drinks from them, usually Shloer or similar, as it is a family occasion. My in-laws used to bring wine sometimes, but it is more their wish to do so.
My brother always hosts Boxing Day and I take the wine.
Now let's think back, my mother-in-law always hosted Boxing Day when the children were young and my Mum always hosted New Year's Day.
These ladies and gents have done their turn of Christmas meals, so it's all round to ours, we collect them and return them as requested. Big brother does Boxing Day and I now do all catering for the New Year. My sister in law makes great cakes so she does the cake for New Year's Eve and her mum pays for a family meal together, cooked at her home by My brother-in - law and My husband and I.
I see it as a wonderful time, everyone does in our family. I also think that taking care of my parents and my husband's family is a lovely way of thanking them for all that they have done.
Our only year that things didn't go to plan was when several people had flu. So afterwards, my parents and in-laws treated everyone to a trip to the panto.
Christmas is about love, family, beliefs and of course food and drink together. I truly believe that we are lucky that everyone gets along so well. I will never forget the Christmas when my husband was made redundant on Christmas Eve. The food was already bought - so business as usual - but at Easter, when we were struggling both our Mums arrived with food for the festivities.
This is what it should be like for loving families, support, love and care.