Would you charge family for Xmas dinner?

[Staceyjas]

AIBU to think you should ask family to pay for their Xmas lunch?
My partner has just told me
Me that his mother who he's having Christmas lunch with said she wants £17 per head from him!I'm going to my family's for lunch so invited him also but he has had it there all his life with his grandparents and siblings too. she said she doesn't want to do It all from scratch and wants to Get it all pre done so it's more money, which I understand but he's gutted and feels like he wants to come to my family now. I can see it from both sides and it's hard work and can be expensive but not like she is financially destitute.

this has never happened before and he has offered to bring the dessert etc but he said handing over cash just feels wrong. As he says it's about family not money but I wanted to see what other people's opinions are ? Or if you do this.
Thanks

I personally wouldn't charge if I was hosting but I wouldn't be offended if we were asked to contribute if somebody else was hosting. It can cost a fortune to do Christmas dinner for a lot of people. Especially if you are staying for nibbles and drinks and things later on. Tbh it's only fair that people pay a bit towards

wasn't there a debate on This Morning or in the Mail last year on this? Is this someone trying to resurrect the topic for the media?

We host pretty much every year as it is easiest for us (we struggle to go away as have a menagerie) and my DH is a great cook so everyone likes us to do it! We enjoy it though too so win win.

My parents contribute, they buy the turkey (free range and about £80) and others bring loads of booze (usually far more than we need so we have enough for New Year too!). It usually only costs us about £200 on top for Xmas Day-Boxing Day. We eat expensive food though, eat and drink in generous portions and no-one is badly off so we don't have to watch the pennies.

I'd never charge per head - that is bonkers. Some people are so tight - if you can't afford to host - don't host!

People should offer to contribute some food or booze though - it's rude to bring nothing, just as it would for any occasion.

You do know this story has made it into the echo I hope no one recognises your username o.p !

And is she asking everyone to buy a ticket? Frankly, I'm a bit stunned by this woman's attitude to Christmas - it seems a bit mercenary.

Maybe you should ask for an itemised bill - but doubtless she'll add on a Service Charge!

Has she always been like this about other things? If she really believes this is what Xmas has come to then why does she invite ANYBODY?

Weird.

www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/mother-law-charging-family-17-13644377?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=mirror_main

Oh dear !!

Not at all, we’ve just had our little one and hosting Christmas for my parents and brother and partner. 6 in all so not huge numbers but it doesn’t have to be horrendous in price. We’ve decided it’ll be a simple starter of ham and melon, a roast of beef and chicken (probably fillet) and I’m making a pudding and my brother is bringing one with him as he offered and I know he’ll like too. Years previously I’ve spent hundreds and days baking, but I was exhausted cooking and we will have much fun when it’s less hassle. If she doesn’t want to host then don’t, vegetables can be done the night before or someone can even cook meats etc.
I wouldn’t feel right asking them for money or taking any, it’s a pleasure to have them attend and I’m so looking forward to seeing them all. In previous years when I’ve hosted my parents have hidden money with me though. I guess they know the costs but I’d certainly never ask or expect.

Your partner is being a big baby. Do you really find his childishness attractive?

He seems to think that he is still twelve and being fed by his Mum for free. No thought to the effort and cost to his mother to maintain this family tradition that he is so precious about.

This is now also being circulated by lad bible just so you know op.

Some people are so tight - if you can't afford to host - don't host!

What if all your family ask you to host, want you to host, and if you don't host the family can't spend xmas together because nobody else has enough room. (Definitely not a stealth boast. I have a big house but it's not luxurious). I just can't afford the food and wine for 16 people over a long weekend. Fortunately they realise this and we do a big shop and share the cost.

Maybe this year I'll tell them no. See how that goes down.

Oh dear. This thread has made news in Australia

Some people are so tight - if you can't afford to host - don't host!

So the mum is tight for not having 5 x £17 but the bloke is just peachy and totally reasonable for having a tantrum about chipping in

www.unilad.co.uk/festive/mother-in-law-charging-family-17-per-head-for-christmas-dinner/

It's on Facebook too on this site feed 🙈

I usually host for around 13. My mum and MIL have always chipped in and given me a bit of money towards the shopping. Its not just the roast, it's all the bits like crackers etc that add up. It gets really expensive so I don't think asking for £17 is unreasonable at all

@blahblahblah111 I host every year (save for last year when my sister did). Does that help?

This year after maternity leave we aren't in a position to be able to spend a fortune - I would be asking everyone to bring a dish and do it that way. I would also be buying a cheaper meat like a gammon if I had to.

In reality - were not bothering with Xmas dinner. As a family we're all going the local carvery two weeks before Xmas as that's the only time my brother is free from his jk. - winner as it's only £6,95 for two courses then!

I wouldn't dream of charging people - to me, that's just cheeky!

I am however, lucky that my family kindly offer to bring components of the meal. So this year, my parents are bringing the Christmas pud and brandy cream, SIL makes awesome stuffing so she is bringing that and some red cabbage, Aunty Joan always brings nice chocolates, MIL has paid for smoked salmon (she can't shop on her own now). So although we will get the other things, at least we have contributions.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-46345677
It's on the BBC as well!!!

Even the BBC has got on the act: www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-46345677

Has everyone got the memories of goldfish? An almost identical thread did the media rounds last Xmas.

This popped up on my Facebook just now in a post by heart radio.

Imagine finding out that your miserable son begrudges chipping in to the cost of Christmas dinner from four different news sources?!

Totally reasonable got her to ask for a contribution. Why should she end up out of pocket

It's on the BBC website too...

It's only ever just me, my dad and my DD. He always offers to pay - at first I think he offered me £50 or something but now he just takes me out and we do a big shop on Christmas Eve with DD loving life in the trolley whilst he sings Christmas songs to her

I'm skint and he's not, but if he didn't pay I wouldn't ask him. It's not something I've ever heard been done. But he'd never cook Christmas dinner, he'd want to have it with me and DD, and he knows it's expensive and wouldn't want me to front the bill.

I wouldn't ask anybody for money, but if I was going to somebody's house and I was better off than them, I'd definitely offer to chip in. Probably wouldn't foot the whole bill but then it's a different dynamic as a parent I guess.