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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Morning drinking

999 replies

nottellingyou101 · 24/11/2018 15:03

I'm curious to know thoughts on this. I'm completely okay with it but interested to see what people think.

Once and sometimes twice a week at 10am I will crack open a bottle of wine and have 2 or 3 glasses over a few hours. I'll Read, catch up on some tv and other stuff and just relax and enjoy.

I do this because this is the only time I get to myself while the kids are in school and before everyone gets home around 4. I don't drink in the evening or at the weekends. Probably having around 16 units a week.

I know if I was to tell anyone this they'd think I had a problem and needed a drink first thing in the morning, but I don't.It's about 4 or 5 days before I'll have a glass of wine again since the last one.

What are you're thoughts?

OP posts:

VerbeenaBeeks · 26/11/2018 17:21

It's not "the rules" that are bizarre.....
Nobody's said you "aren't allowed" to have a "few" glasses of week several times a week.
People have in fact said the opposite, drink and do what you like. Only you know if or when you want or need to do something about it.

Dungeondragon15 · 26/11/2018 17:30

OP, in your first post you say that you drink one or twice a week and that you drink 16 units a week. That means 16 units each time. Even if it is twice a week that is a bottle each time. That is a lot and it appears that you have most by lunchtime. As I keep saying, if the school call you and you roll up after having a few glasses in the morning they may report you. The fact that this doesn't put you off says it all.

Delatron · 26/11/2018 17:30

I think you initially said this was the only time you get to relax, chill and have some down time. Then it turns out that most days a week you have me time (just different me time) so coffees, exercise etc. Plus your evenings are relaxing?

So I think you might need to reframe it as ‘I enjoy a few drinks whilst I’m painting’. As it’s not your ring fenced only ‘me time’. There’s plenty of other chilling time for you. (No judgement just stating fact). Plus I thought it interesting when you said having a snooze wasn’t relaxing or your ‘me time’ as you were asleep! I think an afternoon snooze sounds wonderful and definitely would consider it as my own time.

ToeToToe · 26/11/2018 17:32

I guess the "norms" exist because alcohol is a drug that has an effect on the brain, behaviour and judgement. It is very socially acceptable to drink alcohol - but because of the effect on the brain, generally the social acceptability relies on 1) drinking in the evening, once the day's work is done and 2) drinking socially, with other people rather than alone.

There are exceptions to these of course - Christmas day, or taking that glass of wine up to the bath after a hard day - but the thing is OP, you're breaking both of those social norms by regularly drinking glasses of wine at 10am while your dh is at work, and your dc are at school. This raises flags.

VerbeenaBeeks · 26/11/2018 17:37

I know it's not normal. What if I was called to school at 12.30 in the middle of an early lunch with a friend. It's okay to smell of booze then is it because it's lunch with friends.

Not really comparable - a one off or maybe once a week with your friends out for lunch.
You're not talking about that, though, are you - you're trying to justify sinking the best part of a bottle by yourself, a few times a week, as a regular pattern to wind down in a morning when they're at school.

VerbeenaBeeks · 26/11/2018 17:39

Oh, and I'm really not judging,I drink too much wine myself and I know it.
Which is why I can see your minimising and trying to justify.
Done it all myself before.

Original poster

nottellingyou101 · 26/11/2018 17:40

Delatron This is the time I set aside to do my painting and enjoy a few glasses of wine with not having to rush or get to bed at an early hour.

OP posts:

Claw001 · 26/11/2018 17:42

I don’t think it’s ‘wrong’, just unusual!

I think most couldn’t drink at 10am in the morning, due to responsibilities.

I would guess that most enjoy a couple of glasses, on a fairly regular basis, just not at 10am.

The only difference I can see between the two, is responsibilities.

NigellasGuest · 26/11/2018 17:44

Sounds all right to me!

Delatron · 26/11/2018 17:53

Yes, I guess it is responsibilities/time/desire.

It wouldn’t work for me ever to drink at 10am so it’s interesting to hear how it works! As I’ve already said, I’m pretty sure I drink more than you so not judging quantities.

Cressida89 · 26/11/2018 17:55

There are some people on this thread just enjoying a pile-on now.

When you start making comments about OP to other posters, it's just really rude.

If you want to help OP because you think she needs it, you're going about it in a very strange way.

Cantusethatname · 26/11/2018 17:58

I have been asking myself today why I keep reading this tedious, boring, self justifying and ultimately really sad thread which goes round and round in circles? And the sad answer is because you sound so much like my alcohol dependent relative, it's all so familiar it could be a script. LuYu nailed the script perfectly in her earlier post.

Claw001 · 26/11/2018 18:07

Surely it’s about the quantity? Anyone who drinks too much, regardless of the time, has a problem?

How about someone who works night shifts, is it ok for that person to drink in the morning? Their morning, would be our evening.

Bluntness100 · 26/11/2018 18:09

How about someone who works night shifts, is it ok for that person to drink in the morning? Their morning, would be our evening

Why is this relevant? She doesn't work night shifts. Her morning is our morning.

VerbeenaBeeks · 26/11/2018 18:10

Cressida - people were trying to engage, sympathised, etc but OP responded to anyone who questioned if they were Ok with you're all just jealous, don't hate me as I have more time on my hands than you and you want it too - then when said actually, I could easily fall into a bottle of wine if I wanted to during the day, I do have time got told you're just sat round on your arse all day, Op is Ok as they've tidied up.
If Op is Ok with it, that's fine, have a glass of wine, but there's an awful lot of justifying and defense going on.
If you post for opinions, people aren't going to always agree.

Claw001 · 26/11/2018 18:13

Bluntness my point was it’s about quantity, not time of day.

Original poster

nottellingyou101 · 26/11/2018 18:20

Verbeena I don't think that's true personally. The only person I've really got annoyed with is you and maybe Bluntness

I may be coming across as defensive but I'm just being argumentative.

I've tried to steer it away from me. Let's just say I do have a problem. My problem aside what does Time matter.

The point I'm also trying to make is you might see someone having wine or smell wine on them in the morning. Immediately people will assume problem but that person could only drink 3 glasses a week on one occasion.

OP posts:

Cressida89 · 26/11/2018 18:22

That's not quite fair Verbeena OP has retaliated, yes - but she's been continually attacked! People always do this on MN - complain that someone's being defensive when they're understandably defending themselves against a pile on.

I also don't think I saw a lot of sympathising

Original poster

nottellingyou101 · 26/11/2018 18:22

Should say 3 a week every week

OP posts:

Original poster

nottellingyou101 · 26/11/2018 18:23

Cressida Thank you

OP posts:

Notmorewashing · 26/11/2018 18:25

It’s not a one off painting session or treat if you do it most weeks !!!!! If you were on leave from work I can understand as a one off but how can you think it’s normal at this frequency!

Bluntness100 · 26/11/2018 18:26

I think folks would only assume problem If they regularly smelled wine on someone in the morning. Not as a one off.

Oliversmumsarmy · 26/11/2018 18:26

Why does 16 units mean 5 days drinking

Because in your first post you said you drank 2-3 glasses and you drink 16 units and only drink when the kids are in school. So 16 units per week, 2-3 units per day means you must be drinking every week day.

Why would my kids know I'm sauced when I really am not. I wouldn't want my kids to see me drunk

When has a drunk ever thought they were drunk

Snoozing isn't me time it's having a snooze. I'm fucking asleep

Maybe if you didn’t drink you wouldn’t be so tired

Don't hate me just because you don't have the time on your hands that I do

But what a waste of time sitting around the house with a glass in your hand.

OliversMum where did I say we went for lunch and necked loads of wine
When you were comparing 2 glasses of wine at lunch with friends as the same as wine on your own at 10am

I feel sorry for you if you can't go out for a nice lunch and have a glass of wine because you have kids later

Feel sorry all you like. I don’t drink ever.
I can never understand why people drink. They miss out on so much.

Janus · 26/11/2018 18:29

OP I think you need to break down your quantities so we can all properly understand this -
A bottle of 12% wine is about 10 units so if you are drinking 16 then that’s about three quarters of a bottle in your 4 hour me time.
I’d have that on a pretty decent night out, over dinner and with girlfriends and feel pretty wafty, if I had this in the day with maybe having had a piece of toast by the time I started drinking I’d be sideways. I still don’t think it actually matters if it’s one small glass or three massive glasses as you still have a responsibility in the day for your children whether they are actually with you or at school.

Original poster

nottellingyou101 · 26/11/2018 18:31

Notmore So let's say I don't have any alcohol dependency or any responsibilities. I choose to have some wine in the morning instead of the usual time people do it after work. I do this 2x a week at different intervals each week. This is not okay

Another person has the same amount but does so after work. 1 when cooking dinner, one with dinner and one in front of the Tv

But person one has the problem?

OP posts:

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