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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Morning drinking

999 replies

nottellingyou101 · 24/11/2018 15:03

I'm curious to know thoughts on this. I'm completely okay with it but interested to see what people think.

Once and sometimes twice a week at 10am I will crack open a bottle of wine and have 2 or 3 glasses over a few hours. I'll Read, catch up on some tv and other stuff and just relax and enjoy.

I do this because this is the only time I get to myself while the kids are in school and before everyone gets home around 4. I don't drink in the evening or at the weekends. Probably having around 16 units a week.

I know if I was to tell anyone this they'd think I had a problem and needed a drink first thing in the morning, but I don't.It's about 4 or 5 days before I'll have a glass of wine again since the last one.

What are you're thoughts?

OP posts:
MarshaBradyo · 26/11/2018 13:11

Why do you finish your post like that it’s odd

You are the one doing something strange by your own admission

nottellingyou101 · 26/11/2018 13:15

Why is that odd now. I just find some of the views a bit strange about drinking and no I don't mean about drinking at 10am

OP posts:
SerenDippitty · 26/11/2018 13:17

My father was an alcoholic. Because of that I never drank alone until fairly recently but when I do I find all I want is one glass, unless I've bought one of those little bottles of prosecco in which case I finish it.

MarshaBradyo · 26/11/2018 13:18

Ok as long as you’re not including the 10am views

Janus · 26/11/2018 13:25

I’ve posted a few times on this thread.
I had a call at 11.25 today, child had a heachache and has been crying, I needed to go and pick him up. This is EXACTLY the scenario I keep saying is possible to happen and why I wouldn’t and this alone should worry you. It is completely different if he had the headache at 8pm on a Friday night, the night I like to sit down with a glass of wine. I’d give him calpol, give him a hug and tuck him in. I’d not be toddling off to school with a glass inside me. It can and will happen to you one day.

mrpoopybutthole · 26/11/2018 13:38

Why don't u prove all of us who think u have a problem wrong, by not drinking at all for the next 2 weeks?

nottellingyou101 · 26/11/2018 13:45

I have absolutely no need to prove anything to people I can't even see. I could stop for 2 months If I felt like it, but nobody would believe me. I had a health kick at one point and I stopped for months and months and it wasn't a problem even on social occasions, but people become annoying after 10.30pm

I literally have no desire to drink apart from when I have a bit of me time.

OP posts:
puddlesplashing · 26/11/2018 13:48

Op is just loving the attention now. I reckon she knows she's got a problem.

VerbeenaBeeks · 26/11/2018 13:52

Definitely, puddle! Would be funny if it wasn't so sad.

Dungeondragon15 · 26/11/2018 14:00

I have absolutely no need to prove anything to people I can't even see. I could stop for 2 months If I felt like it, but nobody would believe me.

That's because people with an alcohol problem often say the same thing if they are in denial.

I had a health kick at one point and I stopped for months and months and it wasn't a problem

The fact that you even needed to stop drinking for health further suggests a problem actually. It wouldn't make any difference to the health of someone who doesn't drink much in the first place.

Drogosnextwife · 26/11/2018 14:19

I would love the time to sit and chill alone twice a week will I dithered about in the house but I don't think it would cross my mind to drink while I was doing it.
Let's put it this way, no matter what you say, if you get called to the school for one of your kids and you're stinking of booze they will think you have a problem and might report it.
You came on here to ask if it was odd, most people have agreed it is but you are still defending it? Either you wanted people's opinions or you wanted an argument.
Perhaps you 're bored and need to find something to fill your time rather than sitting around in the middle of the day drinking.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 26/11/2018 14:25

Definitely, Puddle, attention-seeking in the extreme. Why would somebody so happy with their thing bother to post for 'thoughts'. Pathetic and a bit sad really.

I know what addiction is, I used to smoke. No different from this. Not special. Just addiction and putting yourself first to facilitate it.

Having alcoholics in the family is something that many have. All spouting the same old selfish, deluded nonsense.

KickAssAngel · 26/11/2018 14:41

You say that you want 'thoughts' but are refuting anything that doesn't endorse what you do. Anyway, fwiw, my thoughts:

  1. You're not exactly 100% honest with your DH and allow him to think that you're having a glass of wine and relaxing sometime after 12. It's a minor deception, and by itself doesn't mean much, but there are some other issues.
  2. You say you do this every 5 - 6 days, but the total number of units you admit to indicates you're doing this twice a week. That's actually quite a lot of time spent to 'me time' that involves alcohol. If you're genuinely drinking one bottle a week max, that's fine, but it sounds more like two bottles a week. If it ever starts to increase from that, it would be a problem.
  3. That's a LOT of free time you're giving yourself. Really that's up to your family if that's 'fair' but how would you feel if your DH just absented himself for two long periods at weekends. How would the school react if the kids just didn't turn up for a couple of afternoons each week? I assume that you also have leisure time at weekends with the family. It sounds quite selfishly indulgent. Again, by itself, and if it's fine with the rest of your family, that's OK, but it's one of those things that forms part of the bigger picture.
  4. You seem very invested and fixed on this routine of yours. This kind of 'need' for things to be a certain exact way is quite unusual. There are reasons why people can sometimes have this compulsive need for certain routines, but they are often indicators of an illness, such as mental health or addiction.

Basically, as a one off this would not be a problem. But the fact that's it's so regular, and that you seem very committed to it, makes this a bit of a concern. Personally, I would say that you've established a habit that poises you right on the brink, ready to tip into out of control drinking with just the tiniest push. I would want to just step back from that and not be setting up a potential problem.

Why did you post this thread? I'm wondering if you're trying to convince yourself that all is OK, and are using to 'voice' the arguments that make you feel alright with this, when in fact you do have some concerns about yourself that you're not admitting to.

puddlesplashing · 26/11/2018 14:52

@KickAssAngel she also mentions having an afternoon nap daily in top of her "me time"...

Oliversmumsarmy · 26/11/2018 14:59

Of you are drinking 16 units per week and you only do it when the kids are in school and are drinking 2-3 glasses each time then either you are drinking 5 days per week or you are drinking a damn site more than 2-3 glasses at a time.

Either way it is not a habit that you should be getting into.

My questions are why do you need alcohol to relax? Wouldn’t a cup of tea or coffee with your feet up do the same thing.

How have you got so much time on your hands to even do this for a couple of days per week?

Are you bored because there is nothing else in your life?

Do you think you need to get a job or do something that takes your mind off the loneliness?

On the first page you likened going out with your gf’s for lunch and having 2 glasses in quick succession.

I go out with my gf’s sometimes and no one drinks because we know that we are in charge of children in a few hours and don’t want to be 3 sheets to the wind. I have never known anyone who ordered alcohol unless we were doing a mums night out and dad was in charge.

WhoKnewBeefStew · 26/11/2018 15:01

It’s not conventional, but if it’s not affecting family life and you’re not drinking on the weekends or evenings then I’m not sure I’d see it as an issue.

Oliversmumsarmy · 26/11/2018 15:03

I wouldn’t be so sure that it isn’t affecting the family.

The dc probably are aware that there dm is sauced most days.

RoboticSealpup · 26/11/2018 15:08

I'd be more than a little tipsy after three glasses!

OP, I think you started this thread because you have your doubts about whether your drinking is problematic.

Bluntness100 · 26/11/2018 15:09

Me and my partner were sharing a bottle every evening when the kids were babies and it was me that said it had to stop. It did and still has for years

And round we go again. What about your post saying you were drinking last year so much you can't actually work out how much? What about your few times a month socialising that turned into rarely. What about your 16 units that turned to 14 that turned to 10 or less. What about your party this coming weekend where you'd be drinking but now spending it with the kids, what about your last sat night in then getting a bit pissed because suddenly you had a works function you forgot about and posting at 1.30 am.

Round and round we go.

VerbeenaBeeks · 26/11/2018 15:18

And round we go again. What about your post saying you were drinking last year so much you can't actually work out how much?

Yep! There's more holes in this story than a big lump of swiss cheese lol

nottellingyou101 · 26/11/2018 15:32

Verbeena Every evening drinking we cut out. We were highly stressed with little toddler

Health Kick = Half Marathon training

I can't work out how much because I wasn't tracking my units but it was more than now

Can't I spend time with the kids in the daytime before I go out.

Why does 16 units mean 5 days drinking?

Why would my kids know I'm sauced when I really am not. I wouldn't want my kids to see me drunk

Snoozing isn't me time it's having a snooze. I'm fucking asleep

Don't hate me just because you don't have the time on your hands that I do

OliversMum where did I say we went for lunch and necked loads of wine. I feel sorry for you if you can't go out for a nice lunch and have a glass of wine because you have kids later.

OP posts:
VerbeenaBeeks · 26/11/2018 15:41

Confused Grin

Good for you Wine

nottellingyou101 · 26/11/2018 15:42

DragonsNextWife I'm sure when it hit wine o'clock you'd be happy too.

Not my fault I have time to do lots for myself. Meeting a friend for a coffee tomorrow too. Is that okay?

OP posts:
VerbeenaBeeks · 26/11/2018 15:43

Don't hate me just because you don't have the time on your hands that I do

Sorry, shouldn't bite/feed but - LOL.
As I said earlier, SAHM here who could easily start drinking at 10am when they're out at school and sleep it off on the sofa like you want to.
Crack on if you think it's fine.

nottellingyou101 · 26/11/2018 15:45

Why are you still here Verbeena It's a bit sad because you don't have much to say apart from trying to attack me. You and Bluntness. I've got a problem, you've said it, you can get your coat Smile

OP posts:
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