Morning drinking

[nottellingyou101]

I'm curious to know thoughts on this. I'm completely okay with it but interested to see what people think.

Once and sometimes twice a week at 10am I will crack open a bottle of wine and have 2 or 3 glasses over a few hours. I'll Read, catch up on some tv and other stuff and just relax and enjoy.

I do this because this is the only time I get to myself while the kids are in school and before everyone gets home around 4. I don't drink in the evening or at the weekends. Probably having around 16 units a week.

I know if I was to tell anyone this they'd think I had a problem and needed a drink first thing in the morning, but I don't.It's about 4 or 5 days before I'll have a glass of wine again since the last one.

What are you're thoughts?

I don’t drink much at all so I still don’t let loose just because it’s the evening
They will see me have a glass at night once a week and at a late lunch in the weekends

I’m ok with that. Modelling that alcohol can be drunk, enjoyed socially but not relied on or needed, nor excess

I’m happy for them to drink socially with their friends when they’re the right age and would tell them so now. Hope they enjoy it have have a laugh

All pretty normal, not ground breaking, so not that interesting.

Lyndar I don't care. I'm interested to hear thoughts and there have been some interesting views. People think I'm not listening but I am. They are not agreeing with me and I'm not agreeing with them, but I'm the one who is wrong.

It would raise an eyebrow or more if I turned up at my child's nursery to pick them up after a glass of wine, yet the past few years at the nativity at 4.30 they have served the parents wine

Interesting, at mine, as a one off and later in the day then no one would bat an eyelid. Turning up at ten am with red wine lips and smelling of booze would however cause concern. I don't see it as comparable to being offered a glass of wine after a school function.

Only in the fantasy world of mumsnet is drinking at ten am regularly anything other than a cause for concern.

Where I grew up in Glasgow, there was a little newsagent round the corner, and from six am you could see folks lining up, they went out thr back and bought a nip, or shot, of whisky or whatever, and drank it there and then. Everyone knew it was the "alkies" lining up.

I guess as rhe op drinks at ten am in the privacy of her own home, it's different, and I guess maybe these men were somehow different to the op, or maybe they too found doing their drinking early worked for them.

Or is it ok when it's all very civilized and in the privacy of your own home, and less ok when people can see you.

So I really disagree with your post on that.

Also I drink it rather than ‘sink’

I think evening drinking is more acceptable as you drink then go to bed. Morning drinking, you’ve still got the rest of the day to contend with.

Not I know. I’m such a rebel and clearly an alcoholic. Drinking ‘on my own’ 😱

🙄 I find it weird that people think it’s only acceptable to drink alcohol if you have someone else there moderating your intake. Bizarre.

I drink because I like the taste, I like the way it relaxes me, I like the ‘feeling’. Sadly I never get the buzz or the giggles any more, I just feel tired. Oh to be 20 again!

I don’t count units, I drink what I want, when I want. Sometimes that’s a bottle of wine, sometimes it’s a couple of cocktails and a glass of wine. Sometimes it’s a cold beer. Quite often it’s nothing for a few weeks until I suddenly fancy something. No doubt these days some snowflake will be saying I’m binge drinking 🤣. Nope, just occasionally drinking alcohol without turning it into a science 🤷🏻‍♀️ These are the fucks I give about anyone’s opinion of it ⭕️

I'd like to ask why people drink alcohol???

• Because I like the taste of some alcoholic drinks
• Because a small amount does help me relax and get off to sleep if I've had a rubbish few days
• During social events where it's provided or I fancy one
• Because of the 'buzz'

I don't drink very much at all these days, I drink if I want to and when it's not going to affect anything in my life it shouldn't, like work, because I absolutely cannot drink and then work, it'd be dangerous for a start. So I do drink when it's convenient to me.

But I don't think for a second any of that indicates I have a problem, several workmates made a big thing of doing sober October, I also did sober October but it was no different to sober September! August was a few g&t's because it was a special occasion. No one noticed sober October because it's not unusual for me!
I think the issue is that morning drinking is usually associated with addiction, and addiction has many 'red flags' - denial, minimalising, excuses.......
Defending your choice unfortunately has made you sound like you are doing those things, I don't think you are. I don't see any difference in drinking at 6pm or 10am if it's not encroaching on work etc.
It has been interesting reading though, how some people are so entrenched in social norms that they are horrified by what you do.

Alone - couldn’t care less
As long as it’s not first thing
Or too much

ILoveTrees I'll come over and we can drink together at the correct and designated time of day and count each other's units while you brush my hair

I've been known to have the occasionally beer at 11am when not working but drinking wine regularly at 10am seems a bit much. I agree with you though that ppl are funny about the social 'rules' of alcohol. Several times ppl have expressed shock that I drink alone, these are the same ppl who go out on a Friday binge drinking. I never understand why me having a couple of glasses of wine or beers alone at home is somehow worse than drinking a mass amount in a club or bar.

MyParks So your drinking because you are stressed and you need it. That's a slippery slope

I think you've hit the nail on the head. Horrified is the reaction because they are entrenched in social norms.

I would be more than happy to do what I do in the evening, people seem to think I need a drink in the morning / need a drink. I never need a drink, I want one.

Why do you even seek this support
You could tell me I’m normalising alcohol etc and I couldn’t care less as I’m happy with what doing and it’s fine

'I would be embarrassed to turn up at the school in the morning but any time after 12 I wouldn't care because I am entitled to a glass of wine if I wanted. '

Finally the op admits drinking at 10am is at least something to be 'embarrassed' about, if not not deeply concerned. That's something I suppose.

Bluntness I wasn't saying it was comparable but some posters saying a school would refer a person to social services at the wiff of alcohol as they are so very highly trained to spot it yet school offer alcohol at functions (hello sports day I am looking at you).

I think the issue is that morning drinking is usually associated with addiction, and addiction has many 'red flags' - denial, minimalising, excuses.......

Possibly the most intelligent comment on here.

And everyone knows it's not becayse she drinks alone. It's because she drinks from ten am on.

And on the what's acceptable, I guess if you saw the op, drinking wine on a park bench at ten am, or sitting in weatherspoons with a bottle of red on her own at ten am regularly, knowing she was a stay at hone mum, or if she turned up smelling of booze at 10.30 regularly, those defending it would just say ah well she likes to get her drinking in early?

Because as the pp said, morning drinking is associated with addiction, for good reason, and hence some of the concern on this thread.

'I never need a drink, I want one.'

Says every deluded drinker.

Where are these schools that offer wine after functions? All I get offered is coffee, tea or juice!

Chanel. I've always said it's not normal and I know what people would think. Whether they were 100% right or wrong.

It is not socially acceptable. These are all rules we've given ourselves. My niece has autism and it is really interesting to see how she struggles with all the GAZZILLION socially acceptable things she doesn't get. It's also lovely because she doesn't care what others think most of the time.

Surprised the Daily Fail haven't yet made a big deal out of this thread...

'I never need a drink, I want one

That probably didn't help your case op, everyone knows it's the alcoholics tag line. I do it because I want to, not because I need to.

Yes but I am sure everyone who drinks on this thread would say the same. Do they need or want a drink?

It really doesn't matter as long as they could live/go without it.

Not read all the 750 replies, but I'm getting the gist of this fascinating thread by speed reading.

My two penneth..

1. I wouldn't drink if I knew I was in sole charge of the kids at the any stage during the day. This includes if I was picking them up from school. That would be the first reason for not drinking in the morning or at lunchtime. The OP seems to think that loads of parents are lunchtime drinking , so her drinking at 10.00 a.m. justifies this. Loads of parents are not drinking at lunchtime..and certainly not 2 or 3 glasses of wine, which is basically half way through a session and not a sociable lunchtime meal drink.

2. Drinking at 10.00 a.m. is different from drinking after work and in the evenings. There is a practical element of responsibilities being fulfilled by that time which you haven't got at 10.00 a.m.

3. Needing alcohol because you like it's effects at 10.00 a.m...and it is a need otherwise you would have something else as it is completely impractical..is a warning sign.

4. Coming on mumsnet to admit it as you know it's wrong, then staunchly defending it is also a big signal. Admit it, OP, you came on here to get reassurance and validation. Well, you can take the few replies that say it is OK and run with them, and ignore the 100's that say it isn't normal.

I don't know OP. On one hand it seems that it isn't affecting anyone and you just have a different drinking pattern to others. If the same amount of units is consumed then what does it matter?

But on the other hand it does seem like it is an addiction. Maybe not addiction but definitely a habit. I got into a habit of going to McDonald's for a large sugary coffee and a double egg mcmuffin when I dropped my little one off for preschool a couple of times a week. I began to crave it because it was a habit and I enjoyed it but I recognised it wasn't healthy (and expensive) and nipped it in the bud.

I don't have an issue with drinking alone. I get that people use it to relax or just because it's nice. It's doesn't make the person an alcoholic. There are many things that do already covered in the thread.
I don't think what you do OP is the same as a boozy lunch though as those for people are usually the exception and not the norm. I know parents who do it, but none that do it twice a week. Aside from anything else they wouldn't want to turn up at school honking of booze on a regular basis.
I think there is a difference in day drinking to evening drinking for me, because I don't want to have to "actively parent" when I've had a few. I'd rather have a clear head and then fuzz that head up with a couple of drinks once the kids are asleep. Of course there are times when they need us in the night, but for us that's far less likely. So for me daytime drinking wouldn't work. That's not even counting the job and the need to drive! Also I very rarely drink now so it's moot and all hypothetical anyway.
I don't think what you do in and of itself is an issue - although it is a little unorthodox. I think I can understand more wanting a couple of glasses of wine at the end of the day to unwind and to put a kind of full stop on the day. Having never been a day drinker (always made me sleep and then feel crap - even one glass), I can't understand the appeal so find it harder to see your view point I think. Something doesn't feel right about your posts and I can't put my finger on it. It feels like there might be more to this. But maybe it's just as said before, this would be something quite alien to me so maybe I just don't understand it.

I would agree that it is a habit. One I am willing to accept and have. Could O break this habit. Whether people believe me or not, I could. It is my thing that I have completely to myself and I like it.

Everyone has habits and mine isn't affecting my life or anyone's life in any way. If I was drinking a bottle an evening I would have to look at that. Me and my partner were sharing a bottle every evening when the kids were babies and it was me that said it had to stop. It did and still has for years.

I was just very interested to hear what people thought. I can't say that enough. I'm not looking for any approval. I knew before posting what it would be especially on here.

Mumsnetters are a mixed and strange breed with sometimes strange views on things