Morning drinking

[nottellingyou101]

I'm curious to know thoughts on this. I'm completely okay with it but interested to see what people think.

Once and sometimes twice a week at 10am I will crack open a bottle of wine and have 2 or 3 glasses over a few hours. I'll Read, catch up on some tv and other stuff and just relax and enjoy.

I do this because this is the only time I get to myself while the kids are in school and before everyone gets home around 4. I don't drink in the evening or at the weekends. Probably having around 16 units a week.

I know if I was to tell anyone this they'd think I had a problem and needed a drink first thing in the morning, but I don't.It's about 4 or 5 days before I'll have a glass of wine again since the last one.

What are you're thoughts?

No way Janus - OP is drinking wine and there's no way 375 ml of wine is 3.5 units. I wish. I love wine. On average you're looking at 12 units in a bottle of wine, so 2 per 125ml glass.

Actually I would concede 1.5 per 125ml - so 3 small glasses is at least 4.5 units.

I’m committing a mumsnet crime here but this article claims that in other countries, a glass of wine for breakfast is acceptable:

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/food-and-drink/drink-wine-breakfast-why-good-continental-europe-health-red-white-coffee-brunch-prosecco-a7930701.html

No I haven’t bothered google the shit out of it and provide 10different cross references.

Um, I think it’s not quite 2/3 glasses of wine as that wouldn’t total 14-16 units would it? (Genuine question, I’m not trying to be a pain).

Why do you say 'it works for me' if you do not need a drink?

What are you trying to achieve, that causes you to feel it 'works'?

Would a pot of nice tea not work and if not why not?

If you do it for the buzz, then I suspect you are either running away from something or dependent. Same thing really.

So miralis that would still be 9 units which is much less than the 14-16? I can only think it’s not the small glasses? That’s how I measure it when I drink, ie 6 glasses out of a bottle and about 1.5 unit a glass

UmSayWhat, dependence isn't necessarily a matter of craving or physical dependence. It can be a psychological or emotional crutch.

Janus - look, whether she's having 2/3 bottle of wine in the evening or in the daytime, it doesn't matter. There is no difference. It's still the same amount of alcohol whether she does it whilst prepping dinner and then watching a film/reading a book, MNetting in the morning, lunchtime or evening. It's how she likes to spend her free time and no one would bat an eyelid if she hadn't mentioned the time of day.

All I know is that I do have to actually count my units because I don't stay within the 14, sole reason being I like to drink wine when out with friends and I look at the % on the bottles we order in restaurants/pubs/bars and they are generally 13-14% = ~ 11 units per bottle.

The OP is drinking 1.5 bottles of wine a week, she's not hammering her liver in one binge session a week and getting smashed around her kids. The only reason to think this is a problem is if you think the OP is lying.

10.1 units in my bottle of 13.5% wine, so 1.7 units in 125ml glass.

@mathanxiety Dependence isn't necessarily a matter of craving or physical dependence. It can be a psychological or emotional crutch.

So it’s just as likely to apply to all the glass-of-wine-with-dinner drinkers as it is to the OP then?

Most people enjoy the buzz from wine. Is that now wrong too? I love that warm, slightly useless feeling I get in my arms and legs when I have that first glass of wine on a Friday eve.

You have a problem. You should be sober when your kids might need you and there is not another adult with you to get them instead.

No one has the right to label someone ejse as an alcoholic.

If someone chooses to label themselves that then that is their prerogative.

titty valid argument in school hours, not so much outside of ...

No one's saying parents should get rolling on the floor drunk. But not a blanket ban on all wine for any parents. How would single parents cope? I've said op needs to be sober for the kids during school hours, and I am not suggesting parents should get pissed in sole charge of children

But a glass of wine when kids are in the home? What's wrong with that exactly? Op is hardly getting drunk and dancing on a table, leaving her kids to eat cold baked beans in an attempt to resist starvation 🤨

No one has the right to label someone ejse as an alcoholic

I think you'd find that a difficult argument to make to thr family and people close to alcoholics. In this I don't refer to the op, but it's very obvious people can be clearly an alcoholic and refusing to accept it, in total denial, and the family or those who live with them fully being aware of what they are and labelling them accordingly.

I say it as a former drug and alcohol worker.

alcoholics are the last people to label themselves. They've been alcoholics to everyone else for years

Exactly -so until they own, acknowledge and accept it then they won’t do anything about it will they because they are the only person who can change it.

So it’s just as likely to apply to all the glass-of-wine-with-dinner drinkers as it is to the OP then? [Positivethinking]

Short version answer is 'Yes'.

If you have in many ways organised your life around that glass of wine, have all sorts of Really Good Reasons why that glass of wine 'works for you', and associate the glass of wine with the other activity that goes on alongside it - 'eating with the family' or 'relaxing' for instance - then you may well be emotionally dependent on that glass of wine.

It's the same as the cigarette you have to have in the car on the way to work or home again..

Most people enjoy the buzz from wine. Is that now wrong too? I love that warm, slightly useless feeling I get in my arms and legs when I have that first glass of wine on a Friday eve. [Cressida]

We are back to what it means when you do this alone on a Thursday morning, every Thursday morning. If you're drinking alone every Friday evening then that is also a problem.

Exactly -so until they own, acknowledge and accept it then they won’t do anything about it will they because they are the only person who can change it

But that's different, it's not about labelling, if you're married to an alcoholic the odds are you will know it, even if they don't accept it. It's ok for you to then label them, to seek support, is it al anon for families of alcoholics? I'm fairly sure they don't say well you can't label them so fuck off till they admit it.

We never used to label people. We used to say “misuses alcohol” or “so and so has said that they have a problem with drinking/cocaine/heroin etc” was drummed into us that you never called someone an “alcoholic”.

But that's different, you were a support worker. Of course you don't label them before they admit it, that's just going to push them away. But that's not the same as saying the family can't. They can label them, in fact it's often better they do, for their sakes.

If you call someone (a family member) an alcoholic before they are ready to admit it it’s not going to solve anything is it - it’s just going to anger them and push them further into denial.

Yes but no one said you had to label,them to their face. But honestly, I really don't see how pretending helps the person. It's just feeding a fantasy. Maybe being told by a loved one is the wake up call they need.

I have a friend who is a suspected alcoholic. Her husband pretends it's all good.it's just enabling her to keep on telling herself it's not that bad.

Pretending has its own problems, but labelling someone and then seeking help for yourself in living with it is got to be a positive.