Morning drinking

[nottellingyou101]

I'm curious to know thoughts on this. I'm completely okay with it but interested to see what people think.

Once and sometimes twice a week at 10am I will crack open a bottle of wine and have 2 or 3 glasses over a few hours. I'll Read, catch up on some tv and other stuff and just relax and enjoy.

I do this because this is the only time I get to myself while the kids are in school and before everyone gets home around 4. I don't drink in the evening or at the weekends. Probably having around 16 units a week.

I know if I was to tell anyone this they'd think I had a problem and needed a drink first thing in the morning, but I don't.It's about 4 or 5 days before I'll have a glass of wine again since the last one.

What are you're thoughts?

All of these indicate more of a problem than anything the OP has said she does

I guess it's subjective, I just don't agree with you. I can't for example see a couple sitting down to share a bottle of wine on a Friday night and watch a movie as having a problem with alcohol and way more than someone who drinks at ten am when the kids go to school. I get you do, so we need to agree to disagree.

Op.you have no problem. You are not an alcoholic. Is this what you need to hear?

We don't own a car. Transport is decent. Kids can walk home on their own.

I think you said they were primary aged, OP - so you ever go to the school gates?

Bluntness I've heard enough on this thread about my problem. I don't need to hear anything from strangers. I am more interested with ways of thinking and I've got plenty. It doesn't matter what the percentage is on here for and against. I think regardless if it is about me or not, it's about what is socially acceptable to some and not to others.

MN is a mixed breed and I've seen some shocking responses to posts over the years. We have no idea of people's iq's, background, social class etc. People just have their own opinions and sometimes very very strange.

“Big deal if someone has had a glass of wine at 5pm. Is that a major problem now. The lady who drops off is partial to a spot of wine and she would bat an eyelid

Geeez. Some people are so uptight”

It is a big deal if the person has obviously had a few BY 5pm not just opening a bottle at 5pm to have their first. Regularly, a few times a week. Not for someone’s leaving do or at Christmas, or a birthday lunch. But every week, a few times a week.

You are still alcohol dependent.

Heart of glass Why?

Op are you saying those posts saying that think you have a problem are very strange

Or a realisation that your behaviour is strange? (Or against the norm)

Op, on one level I actually agree to you, there is a lot of pearl clutching about booze on here and people can be very extreme in their views.

Personally I drink, I defend drinking, I have no issue with folks who drink, but even I baulk at the thought of drinking wine at ten am, and your posts are inconsistent, the language used odd, you genuinely come across as if you're trying to minimise your consumption, you've forgotten what you wrote before and try to back track on what you did write.

If im totally honest I suspect strongly you drink a lot more than you would ever admit to on here, or even in real life, so I'm not sure why you keep going round in circles on it or what you want. Your question on why has been answered a hundred times. Why keep asking it. You will only get the same answers.

Like I said. That documentary has made me more aware. I was probably drinking much more a year ago and had no idea of how much in the evenings than now but I have become more aware and health conscious

You drank enough to not know how much you were drinking fairly recently (last year)and now you want to bring your drinking to when the kids are at school at 10am?
Yeah, it doesn't sound great really does it......

OP - how about you try to break the habit a bit? Just because primary children CAN walk home on their own, doesn’t mean they don’t still love a parent picking them up / walking them home.

Why don’t you pick them up on one of the days you would have been drinking / sleeping, and take them to a cafe / Park / cinema etc?

Break things up a bit. Be a sober mum ❤️

I don't just sit and stare at walls but of course I can (be alone)

But do you?

Or do you have a glass or two of wine instead of being along with your thoughts?

All this 'I have a problem with social norms' and 'why is it ok in the evenings but not in the mornings?' is hair splitting.

You don't want to see yourself in a certain light so in your mind you make yourself into some open-minded, outside-the-box-thinker who has cast off the silly rules.

If - IF - you have a drink problem, there’s no shame in that. I have had a drink problem that I’ve denied for years and only recently felt able to tackle. I was defensive too and minimised my problem until I crossed what was a line for me earlier this year. Alcohol is an addictive substance, and socially accepted and in fact encouraged, it’s no wonder that some people develop a problematic relationship with it. Facing up to it and trying to sort it is positive.

There are some good books that might help you and also the brave babes battle bus threads on here. If you want to that is. But then, if you didn’t at least have a seed of doubt that you have a problem, would you even have posted?

Is there anything else you can do in the morning other than drink? It is unusual and makes you feel strange for the day.

What about dropping kids off and going for a walk? Gym? Meeting friends for a coffee.

It just doesn't add up OP it's really not what your body needs after a good night's sleep.

You shouldn't need to drink on your own while doing a few jobs should you?

I think that is what is strange about it. I wouldn’t want to feel tired and sleepy at 10am (and worse for the rest of the day).
Fresh air, walking, running, meeting friends, gym so many other things that would energise you.

I don’t mind feeling sleepy after a few glasses in the evening but would hate that feeling at 2pm.

I'm taking on board all the posts. Personally I don't see the problem really. I know it is very unusual and I am not minimising the issue but it just works for me. I like a drink and 2 days a week at 10 or 11am I will crack open a bottle of wine and have 3 glasses.

The only thing I don't like about it is, the school might call and I admittedly take that risk.

Once I've done what I do on those 2 days, most of the time I won't have. another drop until the following week unless I am meeting someone (rare) Am I dependant, personally no and I will be berated for this, but I could stop tomorrow if I wanted to. I have stopped for months on end before and know I could easily do it. I have absolutely no need for a drink. I don't turn to it after a stressful day or if the kids have been a pain. Me and my partner used to many years ago when they were a lot younger but now we don't. I couldn't tell you the last time I was stressed and needed a drink. Even If I did I wouldn't get any. I am completely happy with the 6 glasses a week, if I have a social occasion it annoys me because it means more units. I would actually like to just have my chill out time and not drink on social occasions but that is not going to happen overnight.

As strange as it may sound, I am not doing anything other people aren't doing but just at an unacceptable time. If I said it was 7pm there would be no issue, but my days are different. I work from home, if I do have a drink or want to meet with friends I would prefer to do it in the afternoon, have a few and be back on my couch by early evening, but most people I know work in an office. I hate late nights and late nights when alcohol is involved because I am up early.

I'll leave this post now. Thanks for all your thoughts. It doesn't matter if you don't believe me, I can't convince you otherwise.

I have altered some facts not to out myself but the drinking and the units and the time are true.

I believe you ! And you have less units than me (and I have really tried to cut down )

As I said it’s a funny time of day but each to their own hey !

I have stopped for months on end before and know I could easily do it

And yet last year you say you were drinking so much you didn't know how much? And social occasions annoy you becayse you "need" to drink, and last night, at your surprise works function, you were up posting a bit wasted at 1.30.

I'm out too, because it's going round in circles and circles of inconsistent posts.

Thing is if you know you have a social function coming up then why can’t you alter your day drinking and knock one day on the head?

Most people adjust their drinking like this so the try and fall within the units.

I think the units and number of glasses are getting mixed up. How many actual BOTTLES of wine do you drink to yourself in an average week, OP?

Exactly, Bluntness some proper inconsistencies here! So which is it?
Some serious justifying of self going on here.
If you feel it's fine, go right ahead and do it. Only you know the truth or if you want to cut down or whether you feel OK with morning/daytime drinking when everyone's out.
On some level you must have been questioning yourself though to post for thoughts in the first place.

Hi not you know what, if it is what you're saying your drinking and how often, no more and you know it doesn't rule your life (eg if you wanted to go for a run or a friend suggested a coffee, you wouldn't feel like you were missing out), then you know yourself best. Changing my tune a bit (!) but it was what you said about not drinking when stressed or having had a bad day, unlike the past. That's really important and it's good you have that self awareness and control.

With the school thing, I didn't want to scare you but I'm relieved you're taking it seriously. There is no threshold, one teacher for eg could refuse just on the basis that she smelt wine, even if no ill effects. Not banging on, but with the recent safeguarding tragedies everyone is on high alert. If you cut down to only 1 on a school day it would be un-decetable, or keep for weekends or school hols etc. I know your kids are rarely off but sod's law and all that.

Serious question though, why don't you just not drink at social engagements? Especially if you don't enjoy it. I'm a bit like that now. I much prefer the odd fruity gin and lemonade at home than out, unless at a nice cocktail bar. In standard pubs the options aren't as nice, you've got rounds and it's a bit of a trial. I do have one or two but tend to have no more than that.

One thing I found a while ago was drinking gin three/four times a night. Never over my units, and it did taste nice - but it was for the bizz and while it was harmless I also knew it was at risk of becoming a habit. So now I have a nice gin glass, topped with ice and filled with either belvoir elderflower presse or the tesco citrusy adult soft drinks. Still a 'treat' but less habit forming. Logistically speaking - if I drank 1 gin three times a week to relax, after a while I would get used to the effects of that gin and it would become two.

I hate late nights too, clubbing is the worst. I'm quite often in a cocktail bar in the afternoon - shopping, lunch, 1 or 2 cocktails, usually getting some me time. By quite often, maybe twice a month I do that. Like I said provided you feel in control and happy that's what matters. Do keep an eye on things, especially at times when things get stressy, and be honest to yourself. Be careful about the school thing too.

Good luck. And once again not sorry for my maybe sarcastic tone earlier, it was mainly concern about the school and stuff.

3 small glasses of wine (standard small I think is 125ml) is actually about 3.5 units so would total 7 units over the two days. I think it’s 3 larger glasses of 250ml which is roughly 7.5 units so nearer your total of 14 units. But that’s two thirds of a bottle of wine. That’s a lot to drink in the day, there’s no disguising it.

Jesus bloody Christ I CANNOT believe people are diagnosing the OP as an alcoholic! A couple of glasses twice a week?! It’s an insult to people who actually are alcohol dependent. It makes no sodding difference if someone drinks 3glasses of wine at 10am, 6pm or 9pm. It is the same amount of wine!

Is it the same across the globe that it is socially unacceptable to drink before midday? Genuine question.