Morning drinking

[nottellingyou101]

I'm curious to know thoughts on this. I'm completely okay with it but interested to see what people think.

Once and sometimes twice a week at 10am I will crack open a bottle of wine and have 2 or 3 glasses over a few hours. I'll Read, catch up on some tv and other stuff and just relax and enjoy.

I do this because this is the only time I get to myself while the kids are in school and before everyone gets home around 4. I don't drink in the evening or at the weekends. Probably having around 16 units a week.

I know if I was to tell anyone this they'd think I had a problem and needed a drink first thing in the morning, but I don't.It's about 4 or 5 days before I'll have a glass of wine again since the last one.

What are you're thoughts?

This reminds me of a thread from way back where the OP would occasionally have a bottle of wine at the park while watching her kids. She got utterly roasted. I’m not saying this the same person though the tone is quite similar

I know the thread you mean. I was thinking about it earlier, because at first I wondered if this was the same OP. I found the tone quite similar too in places.

The drinking in the park lady wasn't universally roasted, though. At first the thread was around a 50/50 spilt of yeah/nay. As it went on it transpired that she had a serious drink problem, her DH had had to take her debit card off her to stop her drinking while he was at work, and she used to drink in bus stops under the guise of walking the dog.

I often wonder what happened to her. She posted for a while, was in recovery but lapsed a few times, but then she stopped posting. I really really she managed to turn things around.

Honestly? I think it's odd to drink wine alone at 10am.

I can't imagine doing it. I drink in the evenings, generally socially when out, or with DH over a meal.

Just my opinion though - doesn't mean it's necessarily wrong.

So if OP gets summoned into school and someone suspects she's had a few glasses of wine, what will happen? As long as she's not driving and wearing a onesie, what action will the authorities take?

I am the same OP and after 9pm I won't generally touch a drop!

I drink when I want, alone if I want!

The reason most people drink in the evenings is because the day is done, work finished, children asleep and it's time to put your feet up with a glass of wine or two occasionally. No reason to have to go out of the house, or cook a meal, or help with homework, so being a bit tipsy isn't going to matter.

Daytime drinking is almost always going to lead to problems, even if it's not excessive, because the majority of people are expected to be sober during office hours. An unexpected visit from friends or family, a call from the school, an emergency GP appointment - anything where the OP is found to be smelling of alcohol at 10am, could lead to concerns being expressed.

Some are like me and understand, others think it's a problem?

You can name these groups actually.

The former have a problem with drink but don’t know it
The latter don’t have a problem with drink or know they do have a problem and can recognise it

This reminds me of a thread from way back where the OP would occasionally have a bottle of wine at the park while watching her kids Fuck me, I missed that one.

Mind you, I remember the poster whose partner watched the kids in the park smoking skunk, but it's not like he was stoned or anything so it wasn't as big a deal as we were making out. He was a "great Dad" She left him after a wave of horror from us, then let him back in after a few weeks. Anyone remember her?

Sorry for the derail.

The thing that stands out to me is the secrecy. I feel that if you need to be evasive with pretty much everyone about your drinking habits, you need to examine that pretty carefully to yourself.

As a one off billaby, maybe OK. OP says one, maybe twice every week. How long before that becomes three times? Then the norm for a morning?

This reminds me of a thread from way back where the OP would occasionally have a bottle of wine at the park while watching her kids. She got utterly roasted. I’m not saying this the same person though the tone is quite similar

Yes I remember that thread. That thread struck a chord as I recall everyone was laughing & encouraging her and I was one of the first posters to point out drinking on a cold October afternoon in the Park was a ‘bad sign’. The whole sorry tale came out after a while. I often think of her and hope she’s ok.

All those people who think the OP has a problem - why is drinking 14 units a week before and with a couple of leisurely lunches worse than drinking the same amount with dinner?

As for never drinking alone - am I the only person on this thread who sometimes takes a large cold glass of wine and a book to a long bath after a long day? Should I insist OH comes to join me so that I'm not drinking alone?

Doesn't everyone 'optimise their drinking time?' I'll have a glass or two of wine tonight because it's the weekend, I haven't got to be up at 6 for work in the morning, I haven't got work tonight, I haven't got to drive anywhere, and so on. I wouldn't drink at 10am on a Tuesday because I'll be working and will have to drive to collect DD later. Being logical about it, there's no reason that drinking at 10am on a Tuesday is objectively bad if it fits in with your lifestyle. Drinking at 8pm on a Saturday would be a problem if you had to drive/work/do complicated stuff at 9.

@nottellingyou101 there's nothing wrong with it, if you want to have a glass of wine when you are relaxing, you have it and you enjoy it! I love a glass of wine when OH is out and I'm alone watching a film or having a bath. I've most definitely had a drink with lunch before as well. The only time it would be a problem which others have mentioned is if it were a whole bottle and daily, which as you've said it isn't so...

Enjoy your wine hun 🍷

I'm very happy Cressida. It works for me completely. Personally I would like the 3 glasses of wine to become 2 but apart from that I am fine with it.

None in the evening. Days rest and decent sleep not feeling groggy in the morning. I've told a friend about this and she understands but I know I would be flamed by others. If I could openly tell people without being judged I would be more than happy to do it. It's not a problem, I don't have a problem. I've been doing it for a while and the slope hasn't become sloppier.

I am lucky that once the kids are on school I have the time to do it. I start at 10 because I can do all the things O want to. Paint, read, by and snooze before 2/3 pm. Kids home at 5 or 6.

Before anyone bangs on about snoozing. Even on the days I don't have wine I like a 20 to 40 min snooze in the afternoon. Maybe it's not for you but I love a good snooze and I have the time to do it.

OP, how long have you been doing it for? If you used to regularly drink at the “standard” time in the evening, what changed?

I'd imagine lots of people have "a problem with alcohol" if that means looking forward to it as a treat, enjoying it and knowing you'd better not have any more even though you'd quite like another one sometimes.

Similar to my relationship with cake and chocolate really.

I'd imagine most people can manage both those relationships ok, and get through life ok, enjoying the treats and forgoing them when appropriate. And most of those people will cope just fine and will die of something unrelated to either vice.

A whole bottle of wine to yourself (or nearly) twice a week is a bit binge-y and not ideal from a drinkaware perspective. It no different from someone drinking the same on Friday and Saturday nights though, possibly better if it’s spread over more hours. I do think it’s easier for day time drinking to escalate, though. But you just need to stay aware and cut it off as soon as you notice.

I think I understand why you do it. If my DH takes the kids away I love nothing more than to spend the day by myself with a drink and a good book or a box set. Easy but slightly fancy food. A long bubble bath. Etc. It feels like a total indulgence. And then no hangover the next day. I don’t have the midweek freedom you have though and I wouldn’t want to do it that often as I like social drinking too and it all adds up.

Yes Elspeth, she moved and he joined her again. Her threads became more and more bizarre, sometimes incoherent. Co dependency at it's worst, with a small child involved. Scary to read.

OK. What is deemed 'Socially Acceptable' isn't an argument. Social 'norms' come in to play due to a variety of reasons such as geographical locations will differ on what is the 'norm'.

On a family holiday in August, we made friends with a family from Paris, and they invited us to have lunch with them. The french couple had a couple of glasses of wine. I didn't, and I LOVE wine. I explained day drinking makes me drowsy and it's not enjoyable. They explained in France, their lunches at work can take a couple of hours at least with salads, pasta and bread, and wine was the 'norm' with each course.

Those that have commented, deeming drinking solo is indicative of a problem, or alcoholism is massively inaccurate. Just tonight, Dp and our youngest Ds, have driven to get a Take-Away on a 30 mile round trip and to nip in and see a friend. I have a good couple of hours of solitude. I am THOROUGHLY enjoying relaxing with some alcohol, pottering about the house, I have played my guitar, and have come on MN.

Cheers

If I could openly tell people without being judged I would be more than happy to do it.

And there's the reason for the secrecy. I don't tell anyone about my Bailey's hot chocolate addition for the same reason.
I'd think you were possibly having a bit too much either end of the day OP in my personal opinion, but it doesn't sound to me like you've got a problem at all.

As for never drinking alone - am I the only person on this thread who sometimes takes a large cold glass of wine and a book to a long bath after a long day?

No, you are not. I often have a glass whilst I'm cooking alone in the kitchen, too, listening to the radio or a playlist.

I remember that thread, Candlelights, it was awful really, not just the OP enjoying herself talking about it but the cheerleaders who saw nothing peculiar in it. I wasn't one, I thought it was tragic really that somebody couldn't go to the park with their children without alcohol. Then, as you say, the whole sorry mess unravelled.

OP... are you looking for validation of your morning drinking? Your first post sounds nonchalant but honestly, if you were really ok with this you wouldn't canvas opinions. Everybody does things differently.

I don't know what's 'safe', I think that this country has a very warped idea of drinking alcohol and it's heavily normalised to a point where anything goes (or seems to).

Why are you drinking in the morning? Do you need to or do you just convince yourself that it's not a habit and there's nothing remarkable about it?

Personally, I can't imagine it. Sour alcohol in the morning? Wouldn't be for me. I am teetotal but, even when I wasn't, I wouldn't have done this. Only you can judge really if it's ok - and you seem to have all the answers already. Crack on then.

The poster who claims 14-16 units a week is ‘a lot’. It really isn’t. It may be for you but 14 units is the maximum safe amount for a woman.

Oh god and there was something about how there was no money for a coat for the child but he was spending loads of money on drugs..... It went on and on, a train crash in slow motion. Was there Red in her name?

Sorry to be off topic, OP.

Don’t you ever have driving to do re the children after school?

Yes Elspeth, she moved and he joined her again. Her threads became more and more bizarre, sometimes incoherent. Co dependency at it's worst, with a small child involved. Scary to read.

If it's the same person I'm thinking of the root cause of everything was that she had severe bi-polar disorder .