Morning drinking

[nottellingyou101]

I'm curious to know thoughts on this. I'm completely okay with it but interested to see what people think.

Once and sometimes twice a week at 10am I will crack open a bottle of wine and have 2 or 3 glasses over a few hours. I'll Read, catch up on some tv and other stuff and just relax and enjoy.

I do this because this is the only time I get to myself while the kids are in school and before everyone gets home around 4. I don't drink in the evening or at the weekends. Probably having around 16 units a week.

I know if I was to tell anyone this they'd think I had a problem and needed a drink first thing in the morning, but I don't.It's about 4 or 5 days before I'll have a glass of wine again since the last one.

What are you're thoughts?

There is a hysterical level of projecting on this thread.

I'd be worried if a friend or family member was drinking at that time alone.

FWIW I don't drink at all because I am an ex drug addict with an obvious addictive personality. I didn't think I had a problem as that drug was legal and at the start prescribed for me but I very much did.

Also (sorry, haven't RTFT) three glasses during the day when they're at school? Don't you feel at least tipsy? Do you have a school run to do? So many "just no" scenarios here.

I once had a mouthful of Black Tower in the summer when it was the only cold drink in the fridge. Is this a step towards alcoholism?

Sounds like you're addicted tbh, but I'm addicted to cake! It's all about limits and as long as you're sticking to the 14 units then I'll think you'll be fine. 10 am weird tho! How can you manage to get stuff done? Or are you that used it that you don't even feel the effects?

Only you know how much youre drinking and how honest you're being here

Well she's not honest with her partner about it, so I'd wager there's a lot of minimising going on here.

You know you don't have a good relationship with alcohol, OP, that's why you started the thread, so that some people would validate you (you're a pioneer, breaking down societal expectations, go you!!) and you could trot out your well-rehearsed justifications to those who think a 10am glass or three of wine are indicative of a problem.

You're lying to your partner about what time you crack open the bottle. You know that's not what problem-free drinkers do.

I once had a mouthful of Black Tower in the summer when it was the only cold drink in the fridge

Why minimise, do you think it helps the op? She's now moved to she does this possibly three days a week, and starts drinking at ten am. How is that the same as a mouthful of black tower in the summer?

Just how?

Blunt If you look up. Sometimes I might have a party or out with friends in the evening a few times a month.

It usually around 14 to 16 units over 2 days not consecutively if by myself and I check the units because I am trying to be more drink aware these days.

I'm not looking to see whether it is okay. I pretty much knew what the responses were goi g to be and fairly mixed they are. I will do this because it works for me. I am only curious to get people's response. Some are like me and understand, others think it's a problem?

But why do you need wine to relax?

Of course it is, Rudgie, in fact I'm amazed you can post from that park bench you're on. And the person who ate lasagne for breakfast weighs 30st., you only need porridge soaked in unicorn tears to last you till dinner. I once caught a whiff of skunk in Amsterdam and now I'm a straight up crack 'ho.

Interesting thread.

I would have to write off my whole day if I started drinking at 10am. I’d also feel sleepy and horrible by about 2pm.

I need coffee and tea in the morning.

Though I do drink about 4 evenings a week and probably slightly more than 14 units so I’m no healthier than you.

My only experience of an alcoholic though was my sister in law. Who used to start at a
similar time, finish about 3pm have a cup of tea and sober up in the evening. It’s just an unusual drinking pattern and I think on paper it causes no harm as you are within the limits. It’s just the fancying wine at 10am I can’t comprehend. I’m unsure!

Op, only you know the truth here.

Pahaha, so judgy.

This thread is full of strange views, such as 'drinking in the morning is unhealthy', what does that mean exactly? What does morning alcohol do to your body that evening alcohol doesn't?

I'm the mother of a high functioning alcoholic, she never drinks in the morning.

Well I don't blame you for saying 14 units when it's actually 16 because, as someone critical of you said, it's actually a made up number and if everyone is going to desperately clinging onto the 14 I'd say 14 if it was in fact 12-16.

What isn't a made up number is that a standard glass of wine is 125, not 175ml, and there are 6 of those in a bottle. You might suspect that the OP is pouring herself bigger glasses than that but we can only go on what she has told us so there's no point banging on about "best part of a bottle" etc.

^no, starting drink at 10 am isn't healthy.... yes the timing is irrelevant"

Which is it? I'm glad someone else piped up to say a late morning drink is normal in other countries that have less of a problem with alcoholism than the UK. It doesn't matter if 10am is your "productive time" because it's certainly not mine so it's completely irrelevant to be questioning the OP on why she wants to switch off during a time when you are feeling most productive.

It matters not a jot about the timing - the question is, are you drinking to excess on any given day, are you giving your liver enough of a break by having plenty of non-drinking days, and do you ever carry out "responsibilities" when drunk? If you can answer those questions with no, yes, no, then you are fine and all other responses are a projection from others (including me) based on our own attitudes to, and issues with, alcohol.

PS The dc are not just the OP's responsibility - she has said she has a DH.

Sorry just want to say something else and I'm not judging you .
If you are drinking in secret why ?
My dm will drink in secret because dd doesn't like my dm drinking at all in fact if she has a couple of wines he practically accuses her of being a alcoholic ( she isn't ) so she feels if she wants a drink she has to hide it . I don't think this is healthy , again she doesn't go over her limit but it's the hiding the drink that worries me . she assures me because it's easier than to deal with my dd . I think the issue is not how much is being drunk it's the time / habit / lying never a good combination.
I really hope you are ok op

I know someone who drinks 10 cups of coffee before lunch. Is that worse or better than 2 glasses of wine? I don't know. I have been known to eat an entire packet of party rings, is that worse? I think we all have our little habits. Now and then you meet a perfect person, but they're usually too boring to be around.

This reminds me of a thread from way back where the OP would occasionally have a bottle of wine at the park while watching her kids. She got utterly roasted. I’m not saying this the same person though the tone is quite similar.

In answer to the OP. I once considered doing this and justified it hugely to myself. In hindsight I realise that I was actually tipping over into having a drinking problem. I realised it when I stopped drinking completely and I felt really quite surprised that I had ever thought that day time drinking was a good idea. Why did I need to at all?

Just catching up! (Really should read all thread first lol.) Just seen they come home by themselves. So do mine.
What if the school rang, or you needed to go in/pick them up for any reason?
Three glasses by early afternoon is a lot. Would you risk teachers noticing or sussing if you had to go in? I wouldn't.

People are grasping at reasons why it's not ok. The only real reason it's not ok is because it's not the norm socially. Health-wise and safety-wise it doesn't make any difference and we all know that really. Loads of people drink far more than the OP when their dc are at home in bed and could potentially be taken ill etc. Or when they are at a wedding or party.

I wouldn't do it - partly because I wouldn't fancy a drink at that time, and partly because I'm pretty socially conventional and would be worried about what people would think if they found out.

Does going into a pub on your own count as non-solo drinking? What do single people do? They have to always be with someone to drink or they are alkies? That could get expensive.

I remember the older kids at school used to pick on a kid in my class because of the way his mum smelt picking him up. Was only later I realised they were picking up the smell of alcohol on her. They made his life hell.

As other posters have said, even if you are only having a small glass or two, if you get called into school or have to go to hospital during the day after drinking in the morning it will get picked up on.

Some responses here have confused me, but are predictable.
If someone were to post they drank 2-3 glasses of wine, once or maybe twice a week, starting at 6pm I don't think there would be half the concern - maybe regarding the amount, but not the time.

They'd still be drinking the same amount, over the same number of hours, they'd still have the same children to look after. They'd still be in the same house.
But because the OP chooses to do it at 10am it is automatically a problem? I don't see the logic.

If, OP, you are doing this every day, or if you are drinking from 10am all day to cram more in, then there's an issue. The fact that you've chosen to do it at a time suitable to you, but not socially acceptable is the issue.
We tend to think of morning drinkers as conflakes and whiskey, to get then through the day, this doesn't appear to be what the OP is doing, from the posts.
Most pubs etc open and start serving from 11am - why is that more socially acceptable?
Why is 6pm more socially acceptable than 10am?

FWIW I got 'the look' from a friend who drinks 2/3 gins a night when I mentioned that some mornings after Nightshift I'll have a Bailey's hot chocolate, if it's really cold or I just fancy one. She was appalled that I'd drink in the morning, even though it's my evening, and suggested I had a problem. My alcohol intake is about a third of hers but she didn't see it that way!
You're fighting against ingrained social convention and stereotypes.

I think 14 to 16 units a week is a lot, regardless of the time of day. That's roughly a bottle and a half of wine a week. I tend to feel a bottle over the course of a week is OK but any more (bar special occasions) is pushing it.

I just can't imagine wanting wine at that time of day, tbh. Occasionally, when I am on my own because dh and the dc are out for the day and I don't have any work to be getting on with, I will have a glass or two mid-afternoon. But 10am is very much coffee/tea territory. Alcohol in the morning happens once in a blue moon for me, in the form of a bucks fizz with brunch. I think the sense of abnormality of it comes from the fact that most people need to be functional during the day (and it's not as if you work nights or anything) and alcohol does restrict or alter function. Drinking in the evening means it usually gets slept off.

I don't think you necessarily have a problem, OP, but the scene is set for one to develop, iyswim. If it makes you uncomfortable (and tbh, it would me), you could try varying your ritual. Depending on what you like otherwise, get some really lovely coffee and a milk foamer, or some exceptionally nice tea, or some elderflower cordial and mint leaves and sparkling water. Try those instead. See how it feels, how you feel. Then you may have more of an idea of alcohol's role for you.

Geez. Have all the most sanctimonious MNetters descended on this thread or what?

I'm not saying the OP's situation doesn't warrant a bit of analysis- but there have been some fairly gormless points on this thread!

Firstly, the "what would people think if they smelled wine on you at that time?!" argument is entirely circular. What people think about morning drinking and why is precisely why OP started this thread! She's trying to analyse why people have these norms, not whether the norms exist. Obviously they exist.

Secondly, a lot of our social norms are weird or downright damaging (gender stereotypes anyone?). Not being able to analyse behaviour beyond saying it's not "normal" shows a massive lack of imagination and critical thinking.

Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't drink at 10am myself - but that's because it wouldn't work for me. It works fine for OP.

But, really, what's with all the "I'm concerned you are keeping tabs on your alcohol units" bullshit?! Surely keeping count is good??

I drink v close to the recommended limit. I like wine. I keep an eye on it because I know it's not healthy to drink more. Same as I keep an eye on calorie intake.

I look forward to a weekend glass of wine in the same way I look forward to a takeaway or a nice pudding.

According to some on MN, the only people who should drink wine are those who don't like it, don't look forward to it and have no real joy in it at all.

I'd carry on as you are OP if you're happy.

I know someone who drinks 10 cups of coffee before lunch.

I drink a half a pot of filtered coffee every morning. I also usually skip breakfast most days and then eat regular food (no porridge or yoghurt or smoothie with spinach in it). I'll probably die tomorrow.