To want my child to call their Grandma, Grandma/Nan

[gimmeadoughnut123]

Long story short - we are expecting our first child and hold traditional values, so would like grandparents to have grandparent names.
My MIL has a grandchild already and he calls her something very unique/different that doesn't resemble a grandparent like title at all, it's more of a nickname.
I'm totally ok with whoever else in the family calling her whatever they want and respect that, but for us, we would like to go with something traditional. I'm concerned that this might cause upset for not only her but my B/SIL. I don't want to look like I'm 'insulting' what she is already called.
She isn't a young Nan so it's not an age thing, and she wouldn't have minded being called Nan/Grandma, if she wasn't asked if she would prefer that or to choose something different for herself.

DH agrees, but I want to avoid offending in laws if I can.

The various step grandparents are called by first name as that's what we use too

It's not up to you what someone else is called. If I were her I'd think poorly of you.

My mother is blue nanny to my DS's children.

Mother in law insists on being nanny.

Which is very confusing because that’s hired help.

There will be many times that the parents of the oldest grandchild try to claim the right to have set precedent. Feel free to shut that down. Just because a gathering time worked with their babies nap schedule doesn’t mean it works with yours. Just because they preferred a cutesy nickname, doesn’t mean your child can’t have a Grandma Jane. Being first doesn’t mean they get to make the rules.

My MIL went by the name Ninny for all her other grandchildren. I absolutely hated it, so she was grandma for our children. I never asked MIL what she wanted to be called, I would just call her grandma infront of our children, and that's what they call her today. To everyone else, she's Ninny.

Unclench.

Yeah, I don't think you're going to get to choose! In my family eldest nephew had a name for my parents, them my dsis had 4 children and the cutesy name that her eldest could manage to say is the one that stuck!!

itisitis blimey how rude.

Your child will
More than likely copy what it's elder cousins call the grandparents.

My older cousin and I called my grandmother "Nana", our younger cousin was always told by her parents that she was "grandma". The only time my younger cousin called her "grandma" was when speaking to her parents. Around us cousins and our grandmother, she called her "nana" too.

@GreatDuckCookery not rude at all. It's proper English. And she never questioned it and never has. She receives cards from her other grandchildren with the title on the front scribbled out and the word "Ninny" written on in pen. That's because no one uses the word Ninny in modern English. I don't think it's rude to want to do things the right way, and I think that's the point the OP is making. They don't want to use a nickname either, instead they want proper English and I agree with them.

It's just a name for your children's grandmother. It doesn't have to be right. It was her choice to be named that not yours. At least she kept her thoughts to herself though.

It's proper English.

"Proper English" doesn't apply to names.

I don't view it as a name though, I view it as a title (rightly or wrongly). It's all just down to personal preference, and I didn't like a nick names. I deliberately chose names for my children which couldn't be shortened or changed in any way, but modern society put a stop to that and both are called various versions of their names by their friends. But when it comes titles it's mum, dad, grandma etc. So if OP wants her children to call them by traditional names, then she should do so (in my opinion).

Chances are if your dc is around at the time of the other grandchildren, then they'll copy them.
My dsis couldn't say "grandad" and so called him something different. It passed gradually down through all the cousins-including the ones nearly 20 years younger.

They pick up quickly. I remember staying for a week with dm when dd1 was 2. She started the week calling me "mummy" and dm "gran". By the end of the week she was calling dm "mum" as that's what she heard me say (and me by my first name). Neither lasted as the next time we made an effort to use "gran" etc.

I don't think you can dictate what a grandparent wants to be called. It's their title or name or whatever you want to call it. It's controlling to not use the one they chose.

How would you feel if MIL insisted on calling your dc by a different name? A nn? You'd tell her to stop it wouldn't you?