To hate when people are clearly trying to suss out what social class you are?

[pukkapad]

I often have to attend black tie dinners etc for networking for work. It's part of the job, albeit pretty nice.

Over the years I've noticed a clear set of questions people ask when they are trying to ascertain what social class you are, how rich/posh you are, your background, how you fit in with them etc.

Do you like to ski? Where have you travelled to? Where are your parents based? (NEVER where are you from) How well do you know London? Oh it's like boarding school!

Gosh it gets so tiring. They're clearly only interested in you if you are similarly living off 'London money' and do things "properly".

Am I the only one that gets sick of people trying to find out what your social class is? No I'm not aristocratic nor rich, I'm solidly middle class but who cares!

It's not cos she's mc, it's cos she's very showily mc, I guess. Name dropping public schools etc. It just comes across a bit showy offy to me and mostly irrelevant to the thread.

Where did she name drop a public school? I’ve read her posts again and honestly can’t see that! Happy to be corrected.

Ha ha. I love all this MC bollocks. Are you Upper darling?

Hmm thanks for your insight Hisaishi, I do hope I'm not.

I mentioned it in my original post as I thought it was relevant.
My co-worker who fits every one of the things described in the original post, absolutely hates the questioning too, so not just an 'mc' thing.

It seems as if you don't have that house in NW3 then you're not worth it.

My DH is an accountant so has worked in lots of industries but is currently in horse racing so cue lots of hobnobbing with posh horsey people. So at every race meeting /social event I am asked “do you hunt?” and “do you ride?” and get looks of sympathy/immediate disinterest when I tell them no!

No I'm not aristocratic nor rich, I'm solidly middle class but who cares!

Gosh, OP, is that lower middle class? I cannot imagine any other class being so concerned about such friendly questions.

It happens all over. Be true to yourself, and "own it" I say.

Were quite well off, and it’s shows I guess from our lifestyle, cars, holidays etc. So it’s always really amusing seeing people’s faces when I open my mouth and all the working class comes out of it

Maybe try to spend less time with dickheads.

Interesting interpretation, OP.

They might also be trying to make small talk and get a conversation going, which is half the challenge with these types of events. 'Do you like to ski' might be a genuine question, because if the answer is yes, then you might have an easy conversation topic and some common interests. If the answer is no, then you have an opportunity to talk about what you do enjoy as an alternative. Asking about travel is also pretty classless, because people from all walks of life can enjoy travel. I wouldn't interpret questions about where my parents are based as having to do with class, again it just seems like a friendly conversation-starter.

I wonder if some of the people you're meeting are just trying to make conversation with you, and accidentally are hitting on a few sensitive points? I'd just be glad that they're making an effort to talk to me and would reciprocate.

@ArtisanBaps I think my end of the class scale experience is obvious, because when you said about the horse racing industry, before I read on about “posh horsey people” I thought you were about to post about the type of men with few teeth who hang out all day in my local bookies 🤣

It’s like a class word away association test:

Horse racing?

• Ascot hats and riding to hounds
• Dad’s spent the rent money in William Hill again

WinterfellWench is the one talking total sense on this thread. I like you WinterfellWench.

I think people pretty much know what class you are by your job.
If you are networking surely they even know what level you are.
I think it's probably more to do with keeping up with the Jones's not working out what class you are.
I'd say probably mc without even knowing you. Aristocrats don't tend to network or have normal jobs.

Hunlife

My DH works for the sister company of an extremely snobby place and they have to share offices. The Director of the company is from one of oldest money families in the UK. He won't even look at DH if they happen to pass in the toilet or are in the lift together. We always joke that MD is terrified that he might 'catch poor'.

Perhaps he says “toilet”as you do...

People always say they don't care about class. But in reality Britain is bloody obsessed with class.
And don't tell me the upper class don't care about class, that is bollocks.

I think very posh upper class people are good at pretending that they don’t care about your class but they do and they will never let you into their inner circle if you aren’t one of them.

There were plenty of noses out of joint when Catherine Middleton got engaged - it went against all the old society rules

This is one of my favourite things about not being English and living here - I am an outsider and can't be classed easily...so I have fun with it. I do find the question "What do you do?" rather direct though - it's almost like asking someone how much money they earn.

weird, don't think anyone has ever tried to do that to me and I've been working in London for decades!

crikey dumbledoresgirl is that you, the original dumbledoresgirl? If so that's a blast from the past (I had to NC but if it's you I'll send my original name by DM!)

Hisaishi

What I love about these threads is all the people shoehorning in the fact that they don't CARE about class obviously, but you know, they are a little bit posh just so you know..
Indeed! It’s hilarious!

I've had this, but from the opposite side of a spectrum. According to some people I have encountered lately (has it become an obsession last year?) I am upper middle class. I am not. The only thing they are basing this on is that I can afford a taxi without a worry and buy quality food. My arse is as working class as theirs when it comes to income, but I have never had Sky, I don't spend £100 on new trainers (like the ones I am talking about do), when I need to buy something for the house I spend a week looking for the best price etc, I rather buy a nice piece of lamb, a bottle of wine and relax. Everyone has different priorities.

Funnily no one I know from the upper classes has ever bothered to try to find out how much my income is and what class do I belong to...

Ugh when I started university I had the same conversation over and over again-
“Where did you go to school?”
names boring state school
“Oh.... I’ve never heard of that”

It confused me for ages because I was like well yes, unless we’re from the same town why would you expect to have heard of my school? Took me ages to twig that half of them were from the same small collection of private boarding schools and knew each other already.

I think very posh upper class people are good at pretending that they don’t care about your class but they do and they will never let you into their inner circle if you aren’t one of them. Absolutely!

@BigusBumus

OP I think they are just trying to make conversation and don’t really care about you at all. Most normal people DGAF about anyone else at work events, they’re just there to get the job done, pick up some cards, tick some new business marketing boxes and move on. Don’t overthink it.

Im nouveau. Nouveau pauvre. No wait. I mean..... toujours pauvre. There u r.

I think the only people who care about class is the ultra rich or social climber trying to acquire status. No one else really gives a toss! I don't understand how this is still a thing in 2018! Lol