To hate when people are clearly trying to suss out what social class you are?

[pukkapad]

I often have to attend black tie dinners etc for networking for work. It's part of the job, albeit pretty nice.

Over the years I've noticed a clear set of questions people ask when they are trying to ascertain what social class you are, how rich/posh you are, your background, how you fit in with them etc.

Do you like to ski? Where have you travelled to? Where are your parents based? (NEVER where are you from) How well do you know London? Oh it's like boarding school!

Gosh it gets so tiring. They're clearly only interested in you if you are similarly living off 'London money' and do things "properly".

Am I the only one that gets sick of people trying to find out what your social class is? No I'm not aristocratic nor rich, I'm solidly middle class but who cares!

When I meet new people I will often ask question a) where do you live?followed by b) where are you from originally?

Ah but those are normal questions.
a) where did you attend school and b) where are your parents based or, even worse, where are your people (🤮) based?
are not.
It's very obvious when someone is making polite small talk/genuinely interested in you vs when someone is trying to dig around to get the measure of your background so they can pigeon hole you.

I've only been at one black tie event. It was the birthday party of a very well off friend I made at uni. I grew up in a pretty poor rural location in a low income single parent family and have always had pretty badly paying jobs. One year I struck lucky (i.e. Worked my socks off) and got into medical school. I left my job and did a bit of travelling before starting the course and in the middle of this I went to this super posh birthday dinner. I was sat next to this utter bore who went on and on about his career in banking. Eventually it occurred to him to ask me what I did so I said, honestly (but I suppose a bit disingenuously) that I was out of work at the moment but had most recently been a teaching assistant. He just said "oh" then spoke to his other neighbour for the rest of the meal. Later on he must have spoken to my friend because he came storming over to me and said "you didn't tell me you were going to be a doctor?!" He honestly looked furious about it. Utter utter twat.

3WildOnes

I think very posh upper class people are good at pretending that they don’t care about your class but they do and they will never let you into their inner circle if you aren’t one of them.

Yes, I do feel this is the case. Frankly, it’s being a bit naïve to think anything else.

I didn't like the result the BBC one gave me. So i tried this one. And came out even lower

inews.co.uk/light-relief/quizzes/social-class-personality-test-quiz/

What I love about these threads is all the people shoehorning in the fact that they don't CARE about class obviously, but you know, they are a little bit posh just so you know..

Assuming my post is one of those you're referring to. I'm not sure if it was "shoehorned" in. I'm always quite open about my background on here. I'm not ashamed of it and felt it was relevant to the thread

Sorry - here is the BBC one: www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-22000973

Sorry - just realised I posted it before....brain freeze day!

I think very posh upper class people are good at pretending that they don’t care about your class but they do and they will never let you into their inner circle if you aren’t one of them.

This is definitely not the case with anyone I have ever met (or known.) If this IS the case, it could be maybe they just don't like that person too much.

Also, the same could be said for the working classes too. I know a real flippin' Shameless/Jeremy Kyle type character who mocks, and berates anyone with a decent education, or who lives in a nice area, etc, and she calls them all snobs.

None of them have ever done anything wrong; they are just more polite, rich, middle class, and better educated than her. You can see her turning green when she slags off a woman she knows who is a SAHM, lives in a 2 million pound house, and has a rich husband. SEETHING with envy she is. And when she talks to her, you can see the filthy looks she gives her.

Sorry that should be 'lower working classes. ^ '

anastasia It's just funny when people say 'well it doesn't MATTER of course, but like, I am posh.'

So, of course, it does matter, at least a little.

Why do we all pretend it doesn't matter? People treat people of different classes differently. Let's not pretend it's not the case.

Joke (???) from Sociologist Giddens is your bookcase bigger than your tv or visa versa - otherwise most of these kind of questions are not class but money - & so what? A more interesting take is reading Bourdieu about various forms of capital & control of the social field... (Grenfell explains his theories best)

I don't even know what class I am (except I know I'm not upper class). How do you work it out?

On that social class quiz, I just shut it down after reading the first question.

Whether you call your evening meal DINNER or TEA has fuckall to do with 'social class' ... it's a regional thing.

That stupid quiz was obviously made by someone from dahhhn sarf!

ComeOnComeOnComeOnGetThroughIt

I actually laughed out loud at that and I'm pretending to listen to a conference call at the moment at work.

I did the BBC test and came out as part of the elite. It says I probably went to a private school and elite university. Rubbish.
What is true is that I love going to museums and galleries and socialise with people with a wide variety of jobs.
I have communicated online in groups about my hobbies, and when I have met some of these people, they have been surprised that I am common as muck.

winterfell ohhh don't I know it well, when I go back to my hometown it's all 'oh I spose you think you're better than us now, do ya?' etc.

At the same time, I'm not going to lie, I get on better with other working class people (esp other people who went to university like me) than with the middle classes (I'd assume the upper classes too, but I've never met them to know.) Why? I assume we just have more in common so it's easier to relate. It's not anything that I personally try to find out about people, but I do find myself wondering wtf the middle classes are on about half the time tbh so it can be hard to get on with them.

*So, of course, it does matter, at least a little.

Why do we all pretend it doesn't matter? People treat people of different classes differently. Let's not pretend it's not the case.*

This is true, you have a point. I don't like it though. I suppose it grates a bit as I was brought up to treat people on merit and not class and do otherwise was the sign of being a bit of a dick.

People only ask these questions at such dinners to network, pure and simple networking.

Of course upper class people care about class. Otherwise why would the fact that Carole Middleton had been an air hostess led to lots of upper class "jokes" Door to manual was a clear class "joke".

I loved the episode of 'Four in a bed' when an upper MC Couple thought they had the measure of everyone else, especially the Woman with tattoos.

It turned out that the Tattoo'd Woman was a member of the aristocracy and one of the Tattoos was the Family Coat of Arms.

Her Father had sold the ancestral home and went to NZ, but they had rights to still use some of the estate.

The look on the wannabe couples face was hysterical and they were suddenly nice to her.

anastasia be real though, almost no one treats people 100% on merit. When it comes to stuff like who you want to babysit your kids, nine times out of ten, people will choose Charlotte with the horse-riding lessons and the nice swishy hair and the clean Topshop jeans, not Kelly with the gum chewing and the Croydon facelift and the tracky bottoms (zero offence meant to any Charlottes/Kellys out there.)

@ DarlingNikita I have silenced a room by saying that I'd never been to the south of France. LOOOL. I think we need a new thread: "I have silenced a room by saying...[please complete.] Awesome.

@3WildOnes
I think very posh upper class people are good at pretending that they don’t care about your class but they do and they will never let you into their inner circle if you aren’t one of them. Yes, I think this is true.

@WinterfellWench hah! Yes I'm from the North but family from South so I say lunch and tea, so am all confused. That has no bearing on my social class though.

Ugh when I started university I had the same conversation over and over again-
“Where did you go to school?”
names boring state school
“Oh.... I’ve never heard of that”

It confused me for ages because I was like well yes, unless we’re from the same town why would you expect to have heard of my school? Took me ages to twig that half of them were from the same small collection of private boarding schools and knew each other already.

I had this experience exactly. Had accidently chosen the halls that you go to if you'd ended up at my university because you weren't Oxbridge material though.

I know the "correct" answers
and take great pleasure in not giving them.

I once made up the name of a school and my interrogator said they had heard of it
which was great fun