Dated a guy at uni I wasn’t sure about, he was quite hot and cold and I often felt like I wasn’t living up to his ‘standards’. Generally felt a bit bad about myself when I was with him. But he was quite popular, on the rugby team and well known at the university.
I confided in a friend about my concerns and she said I should just push through and stick it out, he was ‘lovely’ and I was being too sensitive, any girl was lucky to be with him. I wondered if I was overreacting and so kept seeing him, despite how he made me feel about myself.
After a month or so he ghosted me, didn’t reply to my texts or answer if I called (although it wasn’t even called ghosting back then!). After about a week and a half of radio silence I sent him a final message asking if it was over and he didn’t even respond. The day after I was on a night out drowning my sorrows with friends when I met a lovely guy. I confided in him about my tale of woe and we ended up sharing a sweet tipsy snog outside the nightclub.
Suddenly I heard shouting, I looked up to see my ghoster storming across the road in my direction calling me a slag at the top of his lungs. He came over and got in my face, shouting at me saying how dare I kiss another man in front of him and that I was mugging him off. Despite my protests that I hadn’t heard from him in 2 weeks and thought we were done, he kept shouting and turning it around on me. He was so angry. Everyone was staring, my snogging partner looked terrified of this huge rugby bloke and just legged it.
After that I promised to follow my gut and break it off with men who gave me that same feeling. I also never asked that friend for advice again. I’ve never looked back.