What is the worst advice someone has ever given you?

[abacucat]

I was told as a young adult to put butter over a bad burn I had got. I ignored it of course.
What about you?

When I was 18 my then partner was advised by his mum to give up his job and claim income support instead. She said we’d get the same amount of money and wouldn’t need to do anything for it. Being young and stupid we thought it sounded like an excellent plan. Under Labour, it was doable.
What followed was years of near-poverty and depression.

Especially, washing on your period; considering the lack of central heating and abundance of fresh water, it was not unheard of to get sick and die with no antibiotics to help you.

@henrysmycat, that makes no sense. You're not more likely to get sick and die/be in need of antibiotics because you're on your period!

Right now I've got someone giving me advice to encourage me to take a job. I'm far from convinced he's right. But I'm not convinced he's wrong, either. I'm taking the job, so We shall see!!

If a boy's horrible to you, it means he likes you. (Said by my mum and her friends.)

From my mother : "Don't wear tracksuit bottoms around the house, it's letting yourself go, your husband will up and leave. "

Well I did/still do. He's still here after 23 years.

Don't write on application forms that you are good at something. No one will interview you if they think you're full of yourself.

I believed that for ages and couldn't understand why I wasn't getting interviews.

From my best friend when I was having an asthma attack, 'surely if you just breathe it'll go away'

The one about the baby and wind is true!
Cauliflower and onions affected my BF DD

I told my high school history teacher I wanted to become a vet and he said 'don't bother, it's too competitive and you won't make it'

Foolishly I listened. Biggest regret of my life.

Just put pillows all around her (FIL when DD would wake herself moving as a newborn), I didn't.

Ditto

'Put Vicks on her'

The bridge of the nose Vicks thing does work, but Vicks isn't safe for babies as it can actually close their airways instead of open them.

Also 'retrain as a teacher' - I did listen to that one, I'm hoping it gets better though!

@storm4star - I was about to post the same thing. Met husband when I was 14. My best friend at the time also fancied him. He asked me out. I asked her if it was ok, she reluctantly said yes. We grew apart, and now talk once in a blue moon. However, been with husband 20 years!

When I had a very bad MH flare up and had to have 2 weeks off work on tranquillisers a well meaning friend recommended Rescue Remedy and a lie down!
I had paralysing anxiety and was crying for days

To stir some speed into my cup of tea every morning to help me lose weight I didn't do it, am still plump

I was advised to study whatever subject had good prospects and opportunities to earn a good salary, even if I hated it, instead of studying a subject I enjoyed. Because “nobody enjoys their job so if you’re going to hate it then you might as well be well paid”. I was utterly miserable and didn’t get good results which limited my prospects. I should have studied a subject I enjoyed and could succeed in.

Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know

Said by a secondary school teacher to me. I most definitely do not agree with it at all

Don’t go to uni because by the time you graduate, you’ll be too old to get married. From my Mum. I’ve regretted it my whole life.

“A bad husband is better than no husband”.

I’m interested in Lewismam’s response (she wishes that she’d studied subjects that she loved rather than subjects she was advised to study because they offered better prospects) because I think that “choose a career that offers good money and prospects even if it’s not your favourite thing” is great advice.

Previous posters have noted that girls were traditionally encouraged into lower paid jobs: nursery nursing, nursing rather than training as a doctor, avoiding the traditional professions and science. They are absolutely right. Those girls were probably advised to do things that they loved or felt a natural affinity for. To their detriment in the long run.

I would never encourage anybody to choose a career based on ‘do what you love’. For a very fortunate minority, that works out really well but for every TV presenter there are hundreds of people working in low paid roles attempting to do what they, and many others, thought that they loved and missing opportunities to establish a solid, lucrative career. You don’t see many men making that mistake.

Save the things you love for your hobbies, I say, and choose a career that will provide you with a good living and financial independence. That’s the best thing any woman can do for herself. It doesn’t necessarily follow that you will dislike whatever career you choose.

I’m an accountant. I enjoy it, I’m good at it and it pays well. However, if I’d chosen a career based on what I loved I’d be scraping a living as a stylist or a childminder and my life would be very different. Doing what you love is what hobbies are for.

nettle, I wouldn't see a huge difference between 'I enjoy it' and 'I love it,' given it's a job?

Isn't what most people mean when they say 'I love my job' basically 'I enjoy it'.

I’m interested in Lewismam’s response (she wishes that she’d studied subjects that she loved rather than subjects she was advised to study because they offered better prospects) because I think that “choose a career that offers good money and prospects even if it’s not your favourite thing” is great advice.

I do agree with nettle here. I have told my kids that money is so important. Money buys the freedom to do the things you enjoy/love.

My Head of Year 10 telling me "These are the best years of your life, you'll never have friends like this again when you're older".

I wanted to fucking stab half the people in my year at school. If I'd believed the above line of bullshit I may well have ended it myself.

Thankfully my faith in leaving Secondary school hell behind in favour of University worked wonders. So thank you, Mr X, for telling me that the best part of my life was near-constant bullying, and not 18-28, where I had the most carefree, loved, and fun time of my life.

In response to LRD: it’s about the choice of career. Choosing a career solely based on “I love doing this so that’s what I should do professionally” is misguided.

As I say in my post, not choosing to do your favourite thing professionally doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy your job. However, I think that many bad career choices are made because of the “do what you love” myth.

NannyMcfanny That reminds me of the time I was told to book a spa day when I was hearing voices and seriously considering topping myself

I’m interested in Lewismam’s response (she wishes that she’d studied subjects that she loved rather than subjects she was advised to study because they offered better prospects) because I think that “choose a career that offers good money and prospects even if it’s not your favourite thing” is great advice

It’s difficult to achieve highly in something you have zero interest in, that you only chose because you thought it would bring you money. If you don’t enjoy it you won’t be totally dedicated to it, you perhaps won’t even be good at it, you’ll potentially struggle to achieve good grades in it because it’s such a boring grind and a drag, so you won’t have those promised “good prospects” because you’re shit at it.

Or maybe you just won’t be fortunate enough to score a good job that pays well. Being willing to work hard for money isn’t good enough for employers nowadays, they want you to be passionate about your job and love it, and if you’re not they won’t hire you. Or perhaps there’ll be a recession, or employers will be put off by your stammer or something else about you

Without that high paid job you have nothing. You’ve basically wasted your time forcing yourself to do something you hate for absolutely no reason.