What is the worst advice someone has ever given you?

[abacucat]

I was told as a young adult to put butter over a bad burn I had got. I ignored it of course.
What about you?

I didn’t follow this advice obviously, but I remember a friend telling me at school that you should never cross your legs if you have your period.

I still have no idea why she thought that.

All from my mum-

Move to a new city
Don’t bother applying for a job using brand new degree until the move, 8 months wasted.
After 2 years, finally got my dream job and she convinced me to turn it down. Regretted it almost instantly.

Don’t ask questions - if someone wants you to know something they’ll tell you.

"Just leave him to it, theres nothing wrong with him. You dont need the drs he will grow out of it"
Several peoples advice regarding my autistic son 🤔

My mother, when 1yo ds2 was grizzling:

"The trouble with your children, Greensleeves, is that they're too comfortable. You need to traumatise them a bit"

Also my mother, when I was clinically depressed, having panic attacks and suicidal:

"Have you considered adopting a severely disabled child? It would give you something to do!"

You wouldn’t be happy at university, you wouldn’t fit in and you’d never cope.

To 19 year old me in 1989 said by my grandmother, ' don't join the police force its too misogynistic'. I spent a decade working in casinos dressed like a French maid instead! The regulation high heels RUINED my back and I still get a pang of regret when a police car whizzes past me.

Don't go out with him. He's nice enough but he'll never make anything of himself.
I didn't listen and 44 years and three children later we are still together.

One time I was out shopping and not feeling well at all, I just wanted to go home and go to bed (unbeknown to me at the time, I actually had sepsis.) I was clearly looking a bit worse for wear as a complete stranger came up to me and told me to smile and “stop looking so miserable”. I can remember my reaction when I eventually went to A&E to be told I had sepsis and felt quite angry...

“All bullies are cowards,stand up for yourself and they’ll run away”
Cost me a beating that did.

"have you tried yoga?" When I told a friend about my complex mental health problems.

Someone told me to smoke a cigar to help with a chest infection.

go work in a bank its respectable - my older sister did & was good at it - I wasn't & hated it ! My parents (mother) didn't want me to stay on at school & go onto university - waste of time she said. Many, many :) years later I did go to Uni & graduated 2/1 (notwithstanding that I had to learn to use computer & my spelling is erratic - I use to keep a thesaurus & a dictionary behind the screen in case the spellcheck went into hysterics ;) )

"Don't go and see that guy you met on line he could be an axe murderer".... 23 years later still together.

Getting pregnant will be easier 2nd time. Have PCOS and took 15 months to get pregnant with my daughter. Took me two years to get pregnant second time only six weeks so can't tell the person that said that to me it was rubbish yet.

To let abusive ex stay because he had nowhere else to go. We would live our seperate lives.
Alas I was young and naive and I let him stay.

*@Balaboosteh
*
Where do you think the bridge of your nose is, out of interest?

IveHitPeakTumeric Maybe she got that advice from her mum or an older relative? Back when women wore sanitary belts and nappy like pads, maybe crossing your legs put them out of place?

To feed newborn DD only for ten minutes every four hours, alternating breasts, except for 12hours at nighttime when there are no feeds. Said with clear and critical (of me) authority by people who had not been able to bf in the seventies despite lots of beer 😕 and still had no bloody clue why!!!!
Thankfully i ignored them completely.

Careers advice at school: be a veterinary nurse, dental nurse or nursery nurse. No mention of becoming a vet, a dentist or a teacher. And it never occurred to me to reach for the stars. I wish (back in the late 70's) women had been encouraged to have a career rather than a job that one could stop and start as 'the babies come along.' Times have changed though and my own daughters have completely different career expectations.

heartofglass I empathise. I don't think women these days realise just how much young women then were channelled into low paying jobs.

Not said to me but rotten advice given to my recently widowed mother.

My dad had been paying into a life insurance policy and pension from work, and someone came round the house to discuss things. He said that she shouldn't use the lump sum to buy her council house outright, (which would have cost about £9,000 at that time) but should invest the money and use the interest to bump up her small widow's pension. I disagreed with that, and said she should buy the house. Unfortunately, she was bamboozled by him, he wouldn't listen to my opinion (You're too young to understand, dear), and she took the nice man's advice.

Because she had the lump sum she couldn't claim any reduction in rent or rates, nor was she eligible for any other help. Well, the cost of living shot up, interest rates went down, and it wasn't long before she was eating into the capital as well as using all the interest. By the time she died, most of it was gone.

If she'd bought that house it would be worth about £350,000 by now.

It was 40+ years ago and I'm still angry about it.

Yep another one here who spent teen years having to shower in secret when on period as DM was convinced if I washed my hair in the first couple of days I would surely die. or something.

'Get a brandy down ya,' said to my visibly Muslim friend/work colleague with an awful chesty cough and cold.

Go into teaching.

Never to have children as they ruin your life (thanks dad).