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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I HAVE A BABY YOU KNOW!

238 replies

HarrietKettleWasHere · 20/11/2018 14:29

Now, possibly we’ve all been there...

But AIBU to think that this woman yelling this at me on a station platform was just ridiculous and was IBU to laugh and say ‘that’s nice’.

Picture the scene, last week, crowded tube platform, rush hour, everyone trying to get home. Huge delays, a tube hasn’t been for about twelve minutes. Everyone is getting increasingly pissed off.

Woman with a small child in a buggy is getting pretty irate, sighing dramatically, muttering obscenities etc. She then pushes that ‘information’ button on the platform and when it gets picked up demands to know when the next train is coming (the board is already displaying 10 minutes)

Operator tells her ten minutes. She tells him that is disgusting, she’s got a child, they ought to be sending taxis Hmm operator clicks off.

She loses her shit, and screeches I ‘JUST WANT TO GET HOME!!’

I said, ‘yes, I’m pretty sure we all want that’ because she’s irritating me and the platform is chockablock so I cant move away.

She then yells ‘ I HAVE A BABY!!’

I sort of laughed incredulously and said ‘yes, that’s nice’

, I NEED TO GET HOME NOW! THIS IS NOT FAIR ON MY CHILD, I SHOULDNT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS!!’

Child (looked about a year or so so not a baby baby) sat impassively in buggy for the duration.

She didn’t get her taxi, but (rightly so) everyone moved aside when the train finally came so she did get on with the buggy. Lots of people didn’t and had to just wait for the next one.

She kept up with the dramatic sighing the entire way back though.

OP posts:
IHopeThisIsAGoodIdea · 20/11/2018 16:06

Is StayPuft the unreasonable mother in question? 🤔

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 20/11/2018 16:06

NothingOnTellyAgain agree with you 100%

StayPuft · 20/11/2018 16:06

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NothingOnTellyAgain · 20/11/2018 16:07

In short

I'm not going to join in with calling thsi woman a stupid selfish entitled cunt

When it's more than possible she was having an incredibly bad time.

StayPuft · 20/11/2018 16:08

Left London 3 years ago. Would not raise a family in that filthy place. So no, it was not me.

RiverTam · 20/11/2018 16:09

It's a city crammed full of dreamers spending all their money on second rate housing, disgusting public transport and breathing in fumes

actually, I'm a born and bred Londoner and that sounds pretty accurate to me!

Give this woman a break, she'd probably had an awful day and knew that the baby would wake up crying with hunger and she's have no food and would have to put up with everyone glaring at her. I know I've been close to the edge when my journey's gone wrong at the wrong moment.

chances are she's already mortified at having screeched like this!

NotACleverName · 20/11/2018 16:10

StayPuft u ok hun? FWIW I would’ve probably scoffed at this woman too, had she been in Manchester trying to catch a bus/tram/train. We all want to get home and you’re not special just because you’ve birthed a child. 😒

Fisharefriendstoo · 20/11/2018 16:10

I felt like this once when I had no bottles left for my 3 week old baby and there were train delays and I needed to be home before his next feed. Despite being one of the first there, people were arriving and trying to get in front of me.
Obviously I never had an outburst and just made sure I got on the train. I might have though if people pushed past.

RustyBear · 20/11/2018 16:13

Huge delays - hadn’t been a tube for TWELVE MINUTES
Tell that to the people trying to get into Waterloo this morning from my area....

I HAVE A BABY YOU KNOW!
SilverOnToast · 20/11/2018 16:13

Oh poor woman! This post makes me feel really sad! I was that fragile unsupported person with a baby years ago, though wouldn’t have admitted it out loud. Things are different now, but I still remember public transport with a baby. It’s a ticking time bomb for baby to throw up, have a poonami, need something that you can’t provide that one second. Yes, everyone has somewhere to be, but you don’t know her specific circumstances and she must have been feeling awful to have behaved that way! All I feel is empathy when I see that level of frustration and gratitude that I’m not in her shoes.

blackteasplease · 20/11/2018 16:14

Well she was being u but probably just lost her shit. We've all been a bit u at some point in our lives!

Original poster
HarrietKettleWasHere · 20/11/2018 16:15

The Waterloo delays are shocking.

I know twelve minutes (actually 22 in total) doesn’t sound like a lot but normally 6 or so trainloads of passengers would have come and gone in that time.

OP posts:
NothingOnTellyAgain · 20/11/2018 16:16

Fish it's really stressful and in crowded transport the whole survival of the fittest thing kicks in with able bodied / shaper elbowed people pushing those less able to shove out of the way.

People with little kids are less able to shove, and can be more vulnerable, they are actually placed to the bottom of the pile by society though which is interesting.

On the tube they had to change the signs to include pregnant women as allowed to have priority seat as so many poeple say you've brought it on yourself your problem why the fuck should you get a seat.

StayPuft · 20/11/2018 16:17

Just help her. That's all you had to. Offer a hand. Offer to help her get her buggy on. Offer to say excuse me, she's been on the platform a while, she and baby need to get home, etc etc.

Kindness doesn't cost you anything.

NothingOnTellyAgain · 20/11/2018 16:18

Think the Op is more the "kick while down" type TBH staypuft

Twatforahat · 20/11/2018 16:20

Travelling with a very young baby has honestly been one of the more stressful things I’ve had to do, especially when it’s busy. Not saying she was right, but I don’t envy her.

StayPuft · 20/11/2018 16:20

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abacucat · 20/11/2018 16:21

I wanted to say that I have found people to be kinder on the London tube than many other cities. I am often given a seat. I do understand when the tube is incredibly busy though, people kind of panic that they will never get on a tube.

RiverTam · 20/11/2018 16:22

the Waterloo delays are indeed shocking but I was slightly surprised at all the people moaning at Clapham Junction, that's close enough in to walk to work!! Gosh, I remember back in the olden days when I were a lass (the 90s) walked pretty long distances to get to work in the snow cos the tubes had ground to a halt - so, for well over an hour, hour and a half. You just did.

Bouchie · 20/11/2018 16:25

taking kids around London is a totally different experience than other cities but not in a good way. My first thought was someone struggling.

Aridane · 20/11/2018 16:25

On the tube they had to change the signs to include pregnant women as allowed to have priority seat as so many poeple say you've brought it on yourself your problem why the fuck should you get a seat.

Eh?

Ken Livingstone introduced these signs in 2008 as apparently only 2/3rds of pregnant women were offered seats

Never heard anyone articulate 'you brought it on yourself'!! (though perhaps why does pregnancy entitle someone to a seat over someone else tired and aching)

EricTheGuineaPig · 20/11/2018 16:26

Honestly, she shouldn't have lost her shit clearly. But I think you were unnecessarily unkind to go out of your way to pass comnent - you were under no obligation to help her but you could have just kept your mouth shut. It doesn't sound like she was directing her comments at you, more screaming into the wilderness!! Of course we could all assume she's an entitled dick and have a good laugh at her, or we could perhaps wonder what other shit she has going on to breakdown so publicly like that.

Personally I'd have left her alone. While wishing I was the type of person who had the guts to go over and ask if she was OK and I could help her with anything

Aridane · 20/11/2018 16:27

As a (non pregnant) woman, I have people considerate on the tube when I'm looking particularly tired and offering me a seat. Tends to be men though rather than women

Aridane · 20/11/2018 16:28

I find people, not I have people...

DuggeesWooOOooggle · 20/11/2018 16:29

It's easy when you've got a small child to forget that, while your world entirely revolves around them especially in the first year, no one else gives the shiniest of shits about your precious offspring. I remember the desperation of traipsing around the neighbourhood trying to get my son to sleep (he wouldn't sleep unless in motion or breastfeeding), him just dropping off and then some inconsiderate arse starting up a lawnmower or motorbike and DS jolting awake. Didn't they know I HAVE A BABY!!!

On a similar occasion when I had already walked for 40 mins without DS dropping off, a chugger started approaching me with his cheery smile. I just shouted 'please let me just get on with my day!' at him (and burst into tears as soon as I had gone past). I then compounded the stress by meeting my mum outside the cathedral at 11am totally forgetting the largest bells in the north of England were about to ring 11 times very loudly. I can vividly remember the hot cheeks, the sweating, constantly being on the edge of tears, losing all sense of perspective. DS was fine, I was a mess.

She's probably sat at home now reliving the whole episode, cringing or sobbing into a large glass of wine.