To think mums using formula are shamed more than breastfeeding mums?

[Mumtoboy123]

Before having children i didnt realise how big of an issue this seems to be. Everywhere you go you hear "breast is best" and yes, this is the case for some, however, i had my son 7 weeks ago and i was never too fussed about breastfeeding. I knew it would hurt, take a lot of time to get right and i would be the sole provider of feeding day and night. I knew that for me, this was a lot of pressure, that i would rather DH have the chance to feed DS and get that connection with him and we could face night feeds as a team. I also suffer from chronic fatigue and knew 2 hourly BF by myself would kill me or cause low feeling and possible PND.
When DS was born, i was rushed to surgery following the birth. Before this happened, because i felt i had to, id said i wanted to try and breastfeed for the first few days of colostrum at least. This meant that while i was being prepped for surgery, a midwife was 'panic expressing' in an attempt to get DS to latch on. Quite traumatic. DH then had to give DS a bottle while surgery took so long and we carried on from there.
Since having DS ive had aot of people assuming im breastfeeding, ignoring me saying im formula feeding and continuing to tell me their BF stories and advice, and i get funny looks wherever i bottle feed out of the house, especially at mum groups.
Surely feeding my child in the best way that suits our family is better than BF and my bond with DS suffering because of the hardship, or worse, not feeding at all?! There seems to be a lot of focus on supporting BF mums because of the opinions related to getting breast out in public but no support for those who have chosen to formula feed for whatever reason, if anything, when you say you are formula feeding you get a bit of a look and an "oh right" comment... then a silence. Its got to the point where i see another formula feeding mum in costa and i want to run up to her and high-5 her!!
Just to clarify... i have nothing against Breastfeeding at all... especially in public.

When one of my boys was 9 weeks old he was readmitted to HDU with whooping cough. You literally couldn’t leave, parents were expected to do all the care as there weren’t enough staff to take care of babies. I slept (or rather didn’t) in a recliner next to his bed for 11 nights - had one shower, as the staff were so annoyed that I asked to go for one I didn’t ask again. I got fed because I was pumping - other parents had to rely on people bringing in food or didn’t eat. It was really shit.

I honestly can’t believe that in the U.K., a primarily bottle feeding culture, there are tons of mothers ‘shamed’ constantly for feeding how most feed

I always assume the “everyone is judging me for ff” is just rubbish spouted by those who know that bf is better usually, but just chose not to. That’s why they feel guilt.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent

Whoever said that should have been here, when the milky militia were out in full force thirteen years ago.

Yes in hospitals they feed the patient spots either provide formula for the baby or a meal for the bf mother v simple logic really andnot in any way discriminatory towards FF parents

Out of everyone I’ve known or family the vast majority have ff their babies and they are all fine and healthy. True it’s not as good as breastmilk but it comes a very close second you can see that from the fact you’d never know which children had been bf/ff by the time they reach pre school age you just wouldn’t know so yes, bf is the ideal but ff is a superb alternative

.....not sure why the word ‘spots’ Is in there 😂

Milky milita
Fed is best

Bloody hell!!

On another note it’d be lovely if the nhs could feed parents but the havnt got the money to be nice. Feeding bf mums is just practical.

Children and babies are different to adults. They want their mum who is often doing a large part of their care. I’ve been in hospital several times and had family members in. It’s not always appropriate for other family members to do the care with adults.Children are more vulnerable and need more assistance which parents often do. It’s utter shite being incredibly upset and worried, exhausted from sleeping on a chair all night and hungry. Aside from that poorly babies and children in pain and in a strange place want their mum more than they normally would ie all the time. My croup suffering 18 month old screamed the minute I left his side in hospital which was the last thing he should have been doing.

The thing is though (and I say this as a parent whose child has been in hospital a lot) it’s kit hard to throw a few cereal bars, water and stuff in a bag on your way out the door even in an emergency, you don’t HAVE to have a cooked meal etc if in hospital with a sick child if they can’t be left

I get the logic but I'd find it really hard if I was a FF mum with a sick baby

I had a shop assistant make a rude comment to me yesterday because I wanted nursing clothes and my baby is 4 months old. Fucking disgusting - and I can see it getting worse as DS gets older and I continue breastfeeding. YABU.

Wow silly me. When the paramedics carried my blue limp toddler out to the ambulance I clean forgot to ask them to hold on whilst I packed a few cereal bars.

Mums aren't relatives they are the main carer and saving the NHS money.

My sister struggled with breastfeeding/milk supply because she wasn’t eating enough (thought it would help lose baby weight quicker )

Mums need nutrition to successfully breastfeed, therefore their food will be provided in a hospital setting. ‘Anyone’ (as is a main reason gives for ff) can bottle feed so why should the hospital provide the food?

So during the 4 days I spent in hospital with a hysterical, clingy, ill toddler I wasn’t supposed to eat. The NHS can’t afford toast or tinned soup?

When a hospital provides a formula fed baby with a bottle of formula, they are feeding the patient. When they provide the mother of a breastfed baby with a meal, they are feeding the patient.

They don't feed carers of patients. It is not their job to validate mothers. It is their job to treat and feed patients.

Maybe I’m de sensitised to it as always grab some or now have them in my handbag with a few other essentials

I’ve had older relations in ICU and general wards. Nurses do the care or you care for yourself. Children are more vulnerable, need a parent and can’t card for themselves. You seem unable to understand that. Not hard. And in a civilised society a few pieces of Savers toast and soap for a traumatised hungry mum doing most of the care isn’t a big ask.

Oh of course you should eat! You go to the canteen when your child is asleep and grab something. Or you call someone to bring you food in. Or if none of those apply then you say to a nurse “I must get something to eat before I drop down, can you watch dc for 2 minutes? Thanks” and go and get something. Or you breastfeed. Those are the options.

You can always go private if you hate the way the NHS policies are put in place. You get room service then!

Also if find it rare that someone has absolutely not one family member or friend to bring food in for them.....