To think it's rude to say 'it was alright' when asked if you enjoyed a meal someone made?

[fairylightsandfire]

Looked after the baby all day, then came home put him to nap, went to the shop, for ingredients and made dinner for myself and DH.
When we'd finished I asked if he'd enjoyed it and he said 'it was alright' in a very non committal way. I asked what was wrong with it and he said nothing.

I planned this recipe and worked hard to make it. Is it unreasonable of me to think this is rude!?
He doesn't think it is

When anyone does something for you, it's just simple good manners to say thank you! He doesn't have to love everything you make, but he should thank you for cooking for him. Honesty in this situation is just another word for rudeness.

So YANBU, your DH was rude.

I think of the evening meal as just fodder unless it's a particular occasion for which you've cooked something special.
I learnt early on to cook the same six or seven dishes every week so I didn't have to put much thought into it.
I don't enjoy cooking and after 45 years of cooking the evening meal for various permutations of family I know their preferences and couldn't care less whether they actually enjoy it or not😄

He didn't gush because frankly he doesn't want it again!

When we were kids my mother made us a lovely dinner of bacon and cabbage. When she was leaving my Aunt, who was visiting, to the door, she came back to find the 3 of us scraping our dinner into the cat bowl. She was very annoyed and when my Dad came home she was giving out to him and he said that he didn't blame us. She never cooked bacon and cabbage again. I actually love bacon and cabbage especially with the cabbage mixed through the potato with loads of butter and salt and a nice white sauce for the bacon.

Ok point take! Some (most) people don't like bacon and cabbage 🙈
You're right @Bluntness100 it is a nostalgia thing for me (but I also maintain its delicious!

Thank you to the people who think I'm not being unreasonable and it's rude. I still think it's rude and am sort of annoyed.

Now, what am I supposed to make with the leftover ham? How can I reheat/cook it to make it tasty?

Bacon and cabbage sounds delicious to me btw!
I guess a big part of whether you were u is whether your oh would appreciate undiluted feedback on his cooking?
As for the left over ham I’d either have it with egg, chips and pineapple or chop it up and make a carbonara.

Or sandwiches with nice chutney 😋

I hear you OP. When you've spent time and effort preparing a meal, it's frustrating if people don't show enthusiasm. However, I can also see that it's better to find dishes that you all enjoy, so it's reasonable to be more honest with your spouse than with a friend who is unlikely to cook the same dish for you again

I don't mind if my family don't love every dish I've cooked, but I do expect them to thank me for preparing dinner

I have to say as a family we don't do the whole thank you for cooking bit. It's something that needs to be done same as laundry, washing up and hoovering. I happen to do most of the cooking because I enjoy it and I am good at it. When I come up with a cracking new meal I get 'that was peng mum can we have that again' when I come up with a howler I get 'that was rank mum'. Only people I would expect a thank you from is dinner guests.

I wouldn't expect someone who wasn't a guest in my house to lie about the food, he wasn't rude, he just said it was alright!

Can’t see the issue. He ate a dish he obviously isn’t keen on without a fuss then gave what I would consider to be a polite answer.

Now, if he had of gone “what in fresh hell is this, I’m not eating this crap and don’t dish it up again” I would think he was an unappreciative, rude prick and generally unfit for society. But that didn’t occur.

He is telling you he ate it and it was okay but he doesn't really want it again. Seems fine to me,

I get his from my DH sometimes. It is rude but honest. And I'd prob say the same if he cooked something I wasn't keen on. No point lying or you end up getting it again...

Not a fan of cabbage myself but curious about this dish!

My dp and I tend to be a bit more constructive - it's ok to say it wasn't my favourite but you still should acknowledge that someone was good to cook for you. But then we are foodies and enjoy a full breakdown of exactly what did and didn't work with the dish, masterchef style

Another one who doesn't get the "I expect to be thanked for cooking a meal" thing.

Do you also expect to be thanked / Do you also thank the person who:

Returns cleaned laundry ?
Puts a duster round?
Puts th vacuum round?
Puts the bins out?
Does the shopping?
Spends time organising the bank accounts ?
Cleans the shower?
Cleans the toilet ?
Goes out to work to earn the money?
Spends a few hours searching out best Utilities or insurance companies?
etc
etc
etc
etc.
I'd find it pretty weird if I were greeted every day with a thank you for going out to earn the money, or a thank you every time I put a wash on or whatever. All sounds quite false.
Means that when someone really appreciates you doing something, it means nothing other than the same words you hear every meal / wash / working day. 'False praise' type situation.

Probably the worst time in my childhood was coming in for dinner and being hit with the waft of boiled bacon and cabbage, it stank and tasted like a dead badger’s arse

“It was alright” is exactly what DH says when I’ve made something new and he didn’t hate it but wouldn’t really care to have it again. I thought it was an acceptable attempt at tact

SylviaAndSidney Aha!! so you too have had steamed badger in tupperware, albeit the arse end?!

@BackforGood

Honestly DP and I would usually thank each other for doing most of the things on that list!

But, with food, we're generally honest. Cooking is a daily chore like any other, except people will have an opinion on the end result. If your partner can't honestly tell you what food they like or don't like, you have a fragile ego.

I would rather genuinely know their preferences so I can take them into account in future, and I'd rather they knew mine for the same reason.

I'd probably be a little kinder if they'd put a particularly high effort into preparing something and I didn't like it, but boiling bacon and cabbage is barely cooking.