To think it's rude to say 'it was alright' when asked if you enjoyed a meal someone made?

[fairylightsandfire]

Looked after the baby all day, then came home put him to nap, went to the shop, for ingredients and made dinner for myself and DH.
When we'd finished I asked if he'd enjoyed it and he said 'it was alright' in a very non committal way. I asked what was wrong with it and he said nothing.

I planned this recipe and worked hard to make it. Is it unreasonable of me to think this is rude!?
He doesn't think it is

I'm hugely grateful for anything my dh cooks and most meals get a 'That was delicious, thank you so much'. Good job he's a good cook! It might not be what I want most in the world (I'd survive on cheese sandwiches!) but I'm delighted to come home and be fed.

He wouldn't ask if the food was OK because he has his own opinion and will say it's boring or crap or whatever himself. Asking for approval is a bit unfortunate. If you're bothered, OP, either don't ask or ask in advance what he wants. Personally, I love bacon and cabbage, it's something used to do. Very nice, I'd be grateful!

It sounds delicious to me!

But when I cook for my partner I'd rather know if he didn't like it. Mind you, he's usually careful about how he tells me.

CaMePlaitPas
He said it was alright.
He didn't say I love it because he didn't love it.

It was a polite way of saying I'm not too keen but it's ok.
It seems the only appropriate response for the OP was for him to praise her for cooking, going to the shop and then lie about his level of enjoyment.

Chill op and you need to work out the code. It’s alright for my h means

I thought he was BU until you said what was in the menu

Now I think he's a saint for saying it was alright!

Sorry crashed means edible but hardly exciting and I only make again if I can’t think of nowt else. If he offers thanks before asking I’ve hit a jackpot and it goes on the meal list.

This was a feature of my childhood (Irish family) it's very salty and probably the reason cabbage is pretty much the only veg I choose not to eat as an adult. It's also not hard work to cook.
I wouldn't want DH to lie to me if he didn't like something much. There are some meals I know I prefer to him (anything with obvious mushrooms) and I expect him not to complain if I've cooked something edible, but I don't expect him to rave about it either.

I just always thank people for food they cook for me whether it was nice or not

You can be grateful for the effort they've made in cooking for you, whilst not actually liking what they've made. In which case I agree with PP - if it's a friend who won't cook often for you, tell a little white lie. If it's someone you live with, be a bit more truthful.

Perhaps more honesty was needed rather than less?

My teenage dd's line in such circumstances (new recipe she doesn't like) is generally something like "I really appreciate you cooked for us, and if you like it I'd happily eat it again, but I think I prefer it when you do (X) with (ingredient Y).

Result - I feel appreciated, but I don't make that recipe again unless I particularly like it myself!

I’m sorry but it sounds horrible! I expect my dh to say ‘thank you’ but also to be honest if he’s not keen on something I’ve cooked.

She also often says she likes it when I try new recipes even though they sometimes come out weird

Swap the new potatoes for mash and it's a winner for me 😋

Though I love boiled bacon, with shredded cabbage added and would myself eat it with mash to soak up the parsley sauce / gravy (so could just squish your boiled spuds). I'd be very pleased with your dinner...

I would rather my husband was honest if he didn't really like something. Then I know not to put in all the time and effort to make that dish again. If he says "it was lovely" to everything,how would you know what he actually liked and what he didn't?

If I go to someone's house for dinner I would tell them the food is nice even if not,but I don't see why lying to your spouse is favourable.

We are always honest, no point in lying, if we don't particularly like something we say. I wouldn't want to spend hours making a meal that they don't like for a second or third time because I wasn't told they didn't like it.
We always say thank you for cooking whether it's good or bad and we've both had some disasters, but we laugh about those.

X-post obvious

All right = all right, i.e. there was nothing wrong with it. It is the highest level of praise my father ever gives.

Last time i had bacon and cabbage was 7n a pub in ireland and it was delicious but I can see why somebody would say it was ok he ate it he didn't say it was horrible and it was ok don't take it to heart.

I don’t think it’s rude.

My partner’s dad says EVERY meal is amazing because he feels he has to so ends up having stuff he doesn’t really like.

I’d far rather people were honest with me so I’m not making something I think they love that they actually don’t like / can’t stand.

I think for a close relationship like a husband and wife it’s acceptable to say what you really think. Though I can see why you’d be put out if you put a lot of effort in.
Maybe it was foul and he was being polite 😂

You can't expect cartwheels after every meal op

I did a cracking sausage casserole for tonight for my dp and ds that I didn't even eat as I'm vegetarian. They both said thanks and made some "noises" to show it was nice. Can't describe the noises!!

Don't worry about it, he has had a nice nutritious home cooked meal, more than some will have come home to like my dp's friend who gets a frozen pizza most nights...

My parents were from Dublin

I really fancy some boiled bacon and cabbage now

Haveyhad itv for ages

When I had my babies if someone cooked that for me I'd have wept with gratitude I fecking LOVE the bacon cabbage combo. As for you being the one with the baby and then cooking that from scratch? Yes you can certainly tell you've posted in AIBU because the answer lately is invariably yes. Unless you made your own jam and ground your own flour to construct a steamed pudding afterwards, all to be served in a negligee (you not the pudding).

A reasonable response would have been "I loved the way you'd cooked that but I am not sure I'd have it again, what did you think of it?" and then a discussion on whether it was worth what sound like a lot of effort to me (and isn't a bacon joint like that relatively expensive?)

My husband is the same “not too bad actually” is what he says. I’m used to it by now, it’s really a compliment

if you can’t be honest with your own spouse who can you be honest with?

My husband experimented with something the other week. I took one mouthful and my words were “Don’t ever make that again.”

Was I supposed to thank him andbgush how amazing it was so I didn’t hurt his feelings??