To think it's rude to say 'it was alright' when asked if you enjoyed a meal someone made?

[fairylightsandfire]

Looked after the baby all day, then came home put him to nap, went to the shop, for ingredients and made dinner for myself and DH.
When we'd finished I asked if he'd enjoyed it and he said 'it was alright' in a very non committal way. I asked what was wrong with it and he said nothing.

I planned this recipe and worked hard to make it. Is it unreasonable of me to think this is rude!?
He doesn't think it is

"It was alright" / was actually very kind.
Bacon and cabbage 🤢😒

My DH does this. V annoying.

Am amazed at all the people saying that he was fine to give this response or else you might cook it again! If you liked it then do cook it again, you are not his servant. If he doesn't like it he can make something else. Its not the 1950s.

My husband would have had a bowl of cereal instead.

@Sunbeam18

I'm amazed at all the people saying that he was fine to give this response or else you might cook it again! If you liked it then do cook it again, you are not his servant. If he doesn't like it he can make something else. Its not the 1950s.

That literally makes no sense.

If out to dinner with friends I’d say “oh that was delicious!”
If DH says “ooh I’d have that again” 👍
If he says “it was alright “🙄
If he says “not great was it” then you don’t cook it again.
I’m all for honesty when it comes to food

Am amazed at all the people saying that he was fine to give this response or else you might cook it again! If you liked it then do cook it again, you are not his servant. If he doesn't like it he can make something else. Its not the 1950s.

Huh? You get one chance to enjoy your partner's cooking or it's separate dinners forevermore? That's not modern thinking, that's impractical and wasteful.

Sunbeam18 Sure the OP can have it again, but her DH doesn't have to. If you know that the other person that normally eats with you, doesn't like something it's nice to give them a heads up so they can buy/ prep something else.

Ps bacon and cabbage make a fantastic dish!

If you liked it then do cook it again, you are not his servant

What an odd response,not only is the complete sentence illogical what's been said is he can't lie and tell her he likes it as she may proactively cook it again for him and he'd be expected to eat it. No one is saying she should be expected to cook for him like a servant.

Everyone saying it sounds gross has to try it, it's honestly delicious!

Sorry Op, when there are plenty of ways to prepare and cook a delicious piece of meat (glaze & roast/ marinate & slow cook/ season well & grill) I just don’t understand why anyone would choose to just throw it into a pot of boiling water & serve it. Same with Veg & Potatoes.... just puts me right off them!

Glad it's not just me who thinks the post by @sunbeam18 was illogical and irrational! Crazy to not tell your partner you didn't enjoy the food. No good having them cook stuff you don't like FGS!

@bluntness100

No one is saying she should be expected to cook for him like a servant.

Exactly. Some people do like to over egg situations, and cause drama where there is none!

I get this as a fairly routine response from my dc.

What they mean is 'we get that you worry about the family food budget & indeed about scurvy or whatever, mother, so a minimum of four weekday meals a week are out of the slow cooker/freezer plus veg. This itineration was acceptable.

However, we would far rather take our chances with a maccyd or a fiver to buy crap from the corner shop or even free rein to rustle up beans on toast/scrambled egg/a fish finger sandwich whilst you put your feet up.

So don't expect us to rave about the latest hot pot thingy with broccoli on the side. It's ok.'

I do occasionally propose that one of the buggers cooks for all of us, but enthusiasm comes there none.

So my position is that I don't expect anyone to get excited about my cooking (& I'm actually a jolly good cook!) but equally, anyone who wants to grumble is welcome to take over.

Maybe it has sentimental meaning for you as a dish op, something that reminds you of home, of childhood, of your mother? Many people who don't have a sentimental association, as witnessed by this thread, would react as your husband did at a plate of boiled meat and veg with some parsley sauce.

Maybe you could put your own twist on it? Make it something you could have your own sentimental association with?

For example slow cooked honey glazed ham. With braised cabbage done in white wine and fennel seeds, with buttery mustard mash, something like that, so it's still gammon and cabbage at its roots, but maybe a more modern twist that both you and your husband would enjoy and would be your special version of the dish?

If you liked it then do cook it again, you are not his servant
Not servants at all, but then again DH and I take pleasure in cooking and like cooking things we both like and will both enjoy.
Cooking something both people will enjoy and having honesty in a marriage is totally the same as having a servant though.

Bluntness that's a good idea

A few upmarket Irish pubs and restaurants do that kind of thing

Thanks worra, it's that time Of year, I was due a good idea 😝

I support you OP. Yanbu.

Bluntness it's like you've managed to 'sex it up'

I think we should put you in charge of the Mumsnet chicken

That could be too much responsibility. I have to wait another year for my next good idea... 🤣

I think that within a household, fair but genuine feedback is ok. I do all of the cooking (I enjoy it, so don't mind), and I usually try at least 3 or 4 new recipes each week. I have an online recipe book, so 'that needs to go into the book' is a positive result. 'That's not bad' means 'I'll eat it if you make it, but it's not really my thing', so it doesn't go in the book.

It sounds Iike a not very pleasant meal, I think he was being kind!

If anyone other than my DH had cooked a meal forme (not in a restaurant) I would declare it to be delicious.

My DH and I would give each other honest feedback as we like cooking and like to improve.

I agree with bluntness.

Bacon and cabbage evoke childhood memories for me, it's lovely combination.

We would have it with plain boiled potatoes, the salty grease from the frying pan would be drizzled over the potatoes just before serving.

I love bacon, mash and cabbage, particularly with parsley sauce. But only about twice a year. If I have it more often than that, "it's alright". I wouldn't add it to the weekly rotation (unlike an ex's mum in the 90s who cooked it every Saturday night without fail).

In our house, you thank the cook for cooking as soon as the plate lands on the dining table. If it's a new recipe (or one that hasn't been cooked for a while) then at the end of the meal we discuss whether it's going to be a one-off, make an occasional appearance or a regular. "It's alright" would probably mean an occasional appearance. "Never Feed Me This Ever Again " would indicate a regular!

When my mammy or granny made bacon, potatoes and cabbage they used fried bacon and then fried the cabbage in the pan the same bacon had been cooked in. Boak. I hated cabbage, so had baked beans with mine.(My mammy sonetimes fried the beans in bacon fat too )

Anyway, your DH wasn't being rude, just honest!