... in thinking that limerence is just a convenient excuse for women to have affairs?

[IamPeas]

I'm part way through a limerence thread on MN, and it seems to me that it's all bollocks really. A bunch of MNetters consoling and hand-holding each other through their limerence fog. It's not their fault, they can't help it, these wicked men have such a hold over them, blah! blah! It has a label so it's ok... half of them have SO's or the limerence object has a SO.

If a woman shares on MN that her SO has so much as looked at another person it's LTB, but the other way round seems to be ok?

I've crossed the line with people myself, and been obsessed, but I still own it and admit that one or both of us were being duplicitous. It seems that limerence makes allowances for cheating women but is no excuse for men.

AIBU?

winniestone37 is it really that common though?

There are several people a week claiming to be suffering with limerence on the relationship boards. I don't think k it's that common.

Personally I believe this is something people suffering with mental health issues are more likely to experience. It's not a mental health condition itself.

Secondly, people are using it as an excuse. For lots of people it seems to be a crush and they use limerance. Which, if it is a real thing is a bit shitty.

Also woudknt surprise me if it's more common in people with OCD tendencies. I think it's an extension of those types of behaviours.

Like anything, some people exaggerate. Some people would call every cold 'flu', every headache 'a migraine', every day of feeling a bit sad 'depression', so inevitably some people will call a crush 'limerence'. That's not to say any of those more serious conditions don't exist.

In my case referred to above, the LO didn't even know I existed. I made no impact on his life whatsoever and was no threat to him. The only person at risk was myself, because I honestly thought I was going genuinely mad.

Ffs made up bollocks.