To put the kids in full time childcare even if I work four days

[Earlgreyrose]

I'm in the process of negotiating a four day week from january.

Nursery offer a discount for full time places which means the price difference is negligible. As such I am considering keeping them in full time nursery and just make it a.shorter day for them. I just feel a bit bad!

Who would you rather they had an extra day of influence from?

I would. Gives you a chance to catch up on things and you can pick them up early on quiet days.

Such a good idea. You don't have to take them every week and you can send the time doing chores which means the evenings and weekends are free to do family stuff.

When I was on mat leave I started my DS going one day a week at 6 months so that I could catch up on jobs. It was so worthwhile.

Great idea. You can get your laundry or whatever done and pick them up a bit earlier. Win win!

Ok a nursery worker I’m going to say it’s not a great idea. Without a doubt the kids who do 5 days a week get exhausted, and their behaviour definitely seems to deteriorate towards the end of the week. It’s a long and tiring week, nursery is very stimulating. you want to enjoy a day off I get that, but don’t you think they might need a day off too?
If you must do it then at least make the fifth day just a half day.

@thebigbang does that mean you never use any form of childcare to do something you enjoy?

No, I wouldn’t.

Excellent idea!
You are paying for it anyway
It will give you a little bit of breather if you need it and you still have the opportunity to go and pick them to do things together if you want too.
You dint have to drop them early, you can just have a ‘lazy morning’ getread slowly or leaving them sleep a bit longer
You can pick them up earlier.
And have time in between to do things at your pace too.

I would absolutely do that. You can always drop off late or pick up early if you want to have some quality time with them. Or, keep one home the odd week to have 1 on 1 time.

I would 100%

Yes, I think it’s a great idea to do all chores/errands/cooking on the fifth day then have the entire weekend free with both parents. Hopefully it should be possible to get all your work done early-ish, so if you can pick up around 3pm it’d be a good solution for all.

I’m assuming DC are 2.5yo+ in this scenario. Any younger I think they should be home as much as possible.

I would definitely. Chance to have some time to yourself, catch up on sleep and get things done which are quicker and easier without DC’s being around.

I wouldn't, I'm not convinced another full day at nursery would really benefit them.

I don't get this idea that you can only do chores, errands, etc without children (barring sn and medical needs obvs) don't modern parents want to be with theirs kids as much as they can. I had 3 and really didn't need. "Me" time every week, obviously it's different for mums without support.

Wow I absolutely woudlnt do that, but then most people I know have actively avoided having to have kids in full time childcare by one or both partners reducing hours.

Childcare worker Ive met seem to say as above (and they often say it on mumsnet) that its a lot for them to be full time unless they have to.

I cant imagine only wanting 2 days a week with my child if I had a choice though. I think Im much better for their development than childcare and I truly enjoy being around them. I do realise thats not everyone's perspective!

Cant you do 4 days and occasionally have extra if you really need it?

But if its something you actively want to do or if youre finding time with children difficult and need the break it isnt wrong as many kids have to be in childcare fulltime so of course do it.

Lazyarse - yes I wanted to be with mine as much ad I could! And yes they came shopping/to the parm/library. Baby sensory without the pricetag when its truly usong your senses in real life!

YANBU at all! Make it a short day if you want, but definitely take the day and make it a mixture of useful/productive stuff and self-care. I would use it for:

• exercise (I would prioritise this as it makes a big difference to my well-being)
• errands (so much easier and less stressful without children in tow)
• lunch or coffee with a friend (from time to time, good for the soul)
• big jobs in the house that are difficult to find a decent chunk of time for with children around
• little jobs and chores to free up time at the weekend
• relaxation, whatever you enjoy whether it's reading, watching tv, treating yourself to a massage or manicure or whatever

Childcare when work is one thing, very different when not
Yes. The latter is more enjoyable.
OP it's fine to want a day to yourself, you'll have them at home all weekend.
With little children and a job you'll be tired. I did what you're thinking and went straight back to bed on my day off.
Martyrdom helps no one. I was a better parent for being refreshed and energised. Looking after little children is like soul death.

"keep one home the odd week to have 1 on 1 time"
Good idea

Of course you can do chores and errands with the children around. But something that would take an hour with a child hanging around can easily be done in 20 minutes without, freeing up time at the weekend to o lay have to do one thing at a time (be together).

Many, many, many people these days have no family support system. What you disparagingly call “me time” can be essential for children to not bear the brunt of stresses that come from being everything to everyone all the time.

I'm sure they enjoy nursery. Use the extra day to get all your chores done, shopping, cleaning, washing (and maybe resting). Then at the weekend you can actually spend quality time with the dc.

I wouldn't.

I would want to see my kids after not seeing them much all week. And it's not fair as they'll be shattered too.

No I wouldn't. I wouldn't want them in a non family child care setting for any longer than they needed to be.

"Martyrdom helps no one. I was a better parent for being refreshed and energised. Looking after little children is like soul death."

^this, in spades. For every mother that can't imagine wanting to spend a second apart from their toddler progeny, there are 20 more willing away the hours until bedtime most days. I'm a great parent of primary-age kids. Preschoolers almost did me in. Getting a break was essential for my mental health. Go for it!

7salmon, i did say it's different for mums without a support network.