Are these things luxuries or normal household items?

[Teatimeted]

It was my birthday yesterday. My parents and my IL's both gave me money to buy what I wanted.

This morning I went for a lovely child free trip round town and treated myself to some things. Things that genuinely make me happy and bring me joy. I took a picture and posted it on IG.

My friend then text asking why on earth I'd spent my birthday money on things for the house.

For info, I bought a gorgeous set of brushed cotton bedding from M&S, some new wine glasses, a candle and some nice Molton Brown bath foam. I can't tell you how excited I am to have a bath and go to bed tonight!

But my friend thinks these are normal household items, enjoyed by my DH too, and therefore should come from our joint account and I should get to spend this money on treats for me. I don't think she gets that these ARE treats for me!

We're not destitute but neither are we massively well off and I'd never drop £100 of family money on frivolous items. There are much better things to do with that (like clothes for DS or savings)

For background, at Christmas, DH got money from his parents and bought a new set of pans, so this is a view we both take.

So should I have saved that money for something just for me (not that there was anything I wanted) or was I right to spend it on what I consider to be luxuries??

I do think they are standard household items - things I would pick up when shopping without much thought (especially candles) However if money is tight, or if those items were exactly what you wanted to buy for your birthday then absolutely fair enough! She should mind her own business.

Sometimes a birthday or Christmas comes around and you don’t actually want/need an extravagant gift. That’s okay. Sometimes you just want to relax, or you have other things to spend your money on. You’re an adult after all and not an excitable child!

I once asked for a brabantia bin and I like it, it's handy.

How silly. If you were single then would it suddenly be ok for you to receive fancy bedding and wine glasses as a gift, in her eyes? Just because your husband can enjoy them too doesn’t make them any less of a gift for you! That’s like saying that if you receive a nice bottle of wine for your birthday your husband can’t have any, or it won’t be ‘your’ present.

I’m also struggling to understand why on Earth your friend would ever think it was OK to text and question what you spend your money on!

I also buy things for the house with my birthday and Christmas money - but I enjoy having something luxurious, I enjoy choosing it, using it and having it. You enjoy it and ignore anyone who gripes :)