Beating Sugar addiction and lifelong eating disorder.

[Dina82]

After 23 years of bulimia and binge eating I have concluded that I cannot stop emotional eating.

It's too ingrained in me and I say this having had many sessions with a psychologist but it has not helped. Yes, I recognise any negative emotion, regardless of how minute causes me to feel hungry and eat sweet foods which results in binging and occasionally purging.

I have for the last 20+ years tried, self help books ( I've lost count how many) , psychologists ( approx 2 times in this duration, ( several eating programmes that I can never stick too.

Last year I gargled with bleach just to physically make myself unable to eat or binge. It didn't do anything.

I only ever binge on sweet foods so is it unreasonable of me to make a decision never to eat cake/ sweets: desserts again as this is what is exasperating the emotional eating.

I have tried it in the past but only lasted 12 days. What other option do I have? I often think of how I will take this with my to the grave.

I come across as confident, articulate, and strong but I'm a complete train wreck. Sometimes I just wish to die as I literally have exhausted all options.

I tried Prozac last year and it helped briefly with the intensity of the binges but after 3 months I was binging again.

I've gained so much weight it's effecting my joints. Apart from
the intense sugar cravings I get when experiencing any negative emotion no matter how small, I eat healthy home cooked meals with plenty of fruit and veg. I just can't control eating sugary foods once I've started.

How do you get all these sweet foods? Are they just in the house or do you go out and buy them when you need a fix?

Speckle. It's both. I have some treats for my Kids. Occasionally I've removed all sweet unhealthy items for a period of time but always end up restocking

Do you live in walking distance of shops that sell sweet stuff? Can you just not have it in the house?

I understand as I have the same issue with alcohol. I have to keep it out of the house.

Does anyone have any suggestions or can anyone help in anyway. I'm just desperate.

I feel bad for my DS's when they can't have anything sweet because I'm so messed up and it's not exactly normal not being able to have Nutella or a packet of biscuits in the house. I've throw these items out many a time but end up debuting as I feel like a shit mum and so guilty.

I have a similar attitude towards sugar (though not as intense) I've learnt not to buy treats either for myself or my child.

Sometimes i used those fizzy vitamin C tablets that you put in water to curb sugar cravings. They worked for me. Might be worth a try? Sorry for not having anything more useful than that to contribute

I am the same as you Op. I am really struggling to keep my weight down. Most of the day I eat a good variety of healthy foods but for some reason I cant seem to stop binging on high sugar junk in the evenings.
I have always been drawn to sweet foods and struggle to go all day without a few sweet treats throughout

Thenightsky with food it's so much more complex. We need to eat in order to survive. I just feel as though I'm going to end up dying this way and that DH I will just remember me for the issues I have around food.

What approach have the psychologists suggested you use? Have you ever tried actually accepting that it is ok as a coping mechanism as a starting point?

Soeckleddot do you make a conscious effort to abstain from sugar completely?

I feel so disheartened. They say admitting you have half a problem is half the battle but I've sought help since I was a teenager but to no avail

@Dina82 i cut sugar out from september 2017 to September 2018 to lose weight. I lost a stone and am only now starting to eat it again but I'm losing more weight than i need to. But i still binge. I bought my friend a box of chocolates for her birthday a few days but ate the entire box. I can't have anything in the house

That should say because i was continuing to lose weight, not but!

I vary between anorexia and binge eating so I totally understand where you're coming from and that it's not so easy as just not to sweet things in the house. I've tried CBT for eating disorders and it didn't help much but schema therapy is helping a little with the underlying issues. What I have learnt though is that restriction will always lead to bingeing. I'm also learning that it's okay to use food to cope sometimes, it has no bearing on your worth as a person. Be kind to yourself

Do you think you could give the low carb Bootcamp a go? Not sure how to link but there are active threads now, search bootcamp I think?
I have problems controlling my sugar intake, but I have found if I cut it out and eat high fat I lose the sugar cravings within a couple of days. Those first few days are really hard though...sorry, it's tough...

I will look into schema therapy. It's not something I've ever heard of.
Also I've never thought it was okay to use food to cope with negative emotion. It's not healthy as I get urges to eat even when feeling mildly irritated. DS is 2 and has behavioural issues so I'm always stressed

Roseparade, I always though low car would be challenging for me as I dislike meat. I'm a hopeless cause

It really is okay to use food to cope. Everyone has their own coping methods and, for some of us, that's food.

Have you tried Overeaters Anonymous? It is for all sorts if disordered eating. The 12-step program can be very effective in helping move your focus from what you shouldn't eat to finding a healthier way of eating.

Anti-depressants sometimes help with obsessive food thoughts. Also it can be worthwhile getting vitamin levels checked. Particularly vit D, which can make a big difference to mood.

I

Tidy - re, anti- depressants I was on them for 6 months and although they dulled the urge to binge the urges did start growing in intensity by month 4.

I remember a psychiatrist telling me eating disorders take a long time to get rid of. I don’t think I’ve got rid of mine properly ...it’s there, in the background and I manage it more or less successfully at various times. I’ve been anorexic and bulimic. I haven’t binged for a couple of years now though.

I found what works for me is decent sized regular meals and healthy snacks. I try to avoid skipping meals or cutting out food groups. It’s less tempting to binge when you’ve had a lot of food throughout the day already, or when you know you’ve got a meal coming up. I try to display normal healthy behaviour to my kids and eat with them, and I think that really helps.

I find exercise really helps regulate eating as well. Not as in burning calories, but in maintaining a healthy appetite. Are you able to do any exercise OP?

Dina82 I was in exactly the same boat as you. Couldn’t have a healthy relationship with certain foods, couldn’t control myself around some things, but still always told myself to just ‘try harder.’

Then, this year, my father died. We were estranged, I was not upset- he was an abusive alcoholic. But I was stuck by the fact that he died alone, in squalor, purely due to his addiction. I recognised that addictive behaviour in myself and realised how lucky I was that my addiction was food and not drink. I realised the only thing keeping me from behind exactly the same as him is that my addiction is ‘socially acceptable.’

So. I closed the door on the things I could not be healthy with. I declared myself sober. I know it sounds extreme but I believe it is the only way. You wouldn’t tell an alcoholic ‘you’ve been good, have a day of drinking and then stop again’ would you? Or tell a drug addict to have some heroin for a birthday treat? You have to accept that you have an addiction and that you cannot fall off the wagon- that if you do, you are giving into your own addiction just like an alcoholic.

In short- no, I don’t think you are wrong to give it up completely. It’s incredibly freeing, and, after the first 5 days, remarkably easy. Close that door. Never open it again.

Eating disorders are incredibly difficult to resolve. They can permeate every corner of your brain can't they? Thinking about what to eat, what not to eat, what you ate yesterday, what you might eat later. And the endless guilt.

I'm sorry you're struggling. It's an addiction. Have you been to or I considered an eating disorder clinic? Long term? I'm not sure if this would be practically feasible or financially affordable.

I have struggles with eating disorders (anorexia and bulimia) for in the past but I have no advise really. My journey to recovery is not one I would recommend and it was very destructive one other ways. But you aren't alone and this is not a sign of weakness

Sly. I have never thought of this before. That because I'm addicted to sugar and turn to eating it with every negative emotion I feel, I should complete quit. I can occasionally only have a little but then it creeps up again and I've completely lost control and ate huge quantities.

I always wanted to be appear normal to myself and others and this includes eating cake socially or out at a cafe, a couple of biscuits with a cuppa. But I lose all control.

My psychologist has told me to stop vomiting after binges which I've successfully managed to do although I really want to.

From today I plan to have the mindset if I am a sugar addict and can't consume any in any situation/ quantity ever.

TODAY IS MY DAY ONE OF RECOVERY.

I'm never in the moment with my kids. DS is 3 soon and these past years it's been a daily battle of wanting to lose weight, eat normally, succumbing to binge/ vomiting cycle/ being depressed because of it.

I don't have major stressors in my life. Even when I'm anxious or mildly irritated I will crave sugar.

I know that my childhood is a huge contributing factor. Quite severe physical and emotional abuse by both parents until I left home. Being made the scapegoat of the family. I am a daughter so was unwanted. I'm currently reading the book 'Toxic Patents' and it resonates with me.

Ironically yesterday whilst reading it twice I had huge urges just to eat, eat, eat. So I binged. Stupidly later realised it's because I was getting anxious and overwhelmed relating to the case studies.

To the poster who recommended exercise, I do but have pain in my lower back which restricts me mostly due to my increased weight. Another reason I need to lose