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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to take my children to a family party

54 replies

putitdown · 20/06/2007 10:23

A get together for my 94 year old Granny 200 miles away. Will be going and staying for the weekend don't expect DH to go but do want to take a 2 and 4 year old with me. He says you are not taking my children ... All her other geat grandkids will be there

OP posts:
AngryMob · 20/06/2007 12:41

What are the 'after effects'?

gess · 20/06/2007 12:42

That sounds dreadful. Is he the type of man that would talk about it?

Original poster
putitdown · 20/06/2007 12:43

Moaning sulking wining bullying. No he won't talk have asked him to go to relate

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 20/06/2007 12:46

what a horrible controlling person
would you not be better off without him?

Original poster
putitdown · 20/06/2007 12:47

yes but he says he will get the kids. it would be nasty

OP posts:
AngryMob · 20/06/2007 12:47

Perhaps you need to consider if you would like to continue with this relationship.

CountessDracula · 20/06/2007 12:47

why would he get kids?
is just more bullying and scare tactics

Bamzooki · 20/06/2007 12:48

If I hadn't taken my dd on 180 mile each way journeys - and there and back in a day, to see my 95 yr old granny then they would never have met. Didn't expect dh to come as he is not big into family 'dos', but that's fine.
I wanted to go, and let my wonder granny meet her first great grandchild, and yes she was tired, but so what? We went several times over a period of 2.5 years till my granny died.
And am going up there again to meet up with my aunt and uncle who are over from New Zealand, and my cousin who now lives in Canada, but is also visiting. So it will be a long day, and dd 9yr, ds 4yr will be tired, but it will be worth it for this rare occasion.
DH doesn't have a problem - he's working, but even so I wouldn't make him come cos it would spoil my day knowing that he would be hating it.

So no - YANBU - he is.

bozza · 20/06/2007 12:48

He sounds awful. "I will cut your money". You are married, you are supposed to be a team.

Original poster
putitdown · 20/06/2007 12:48

i know he says get out and i'll have the kids

OP posts:
AngryMob · 20/06/2007 12:48

sorry, x post.
Why does he think he would get sole custody of the children?
I think that would be extremely unlikely.

CountessDracula · 20/06/2007 12:49

but it isn't that simple
he can't just "have" the kids!

bozza · 20/06/2007 12:49

It might be nasty but unlikely that he would get the kids.

Greensleeves · 20/06/2007 12:49

I would just laugh in his face and take my children anyway, I'm afraid. He sounds like a wanker.

NotQuiteCockney · 20/06/2007 12:50

If you are a SAHM you would normally get the kids.

NotQuiteCockney · 20/06/2007 12:51

Would you be happy for either of your children to be in a relationship like yours? The longer you live this way, the more likely they are to think this is normal, and copy it ...

Original poster
putitdown · 20/06/2007 12:51

i know and i know what i need to do.

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 20/06/2007 12:52

go to party with kids
and stay

Aitch · 20/06/2007 12:53

yes, never go back...

CountessDracula · 20/06/2007 12:58

could you say to him that you are very unhappy about your relationship and that you want him to come to counselling with you otherwise you don't see any way forward

dmo · 20/06/2007 12:59

poor you what a pig your h is
go to the party let your children enjoy seeing thier family

Original poster
putitdown · 20/06/2007 15:50

He refuses counselling says he knows what they will say

OP posts:
fireflyfairy2 · 20/06/2007 15:54

He knows what they will say

That alone is more telling than anything else.

He knows he's being unreasonable. Twat.

CountessDracula · 20/06/2007 15:55

issue an ultimatum
counselling or pack yer bags

Original poster
putitdown · 20/06/2007 15:55

His response will be it is my house he had more assets before the marriage you go

OP posts: