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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my partner is having an affair because of strange delivery?

148 replies

Mumshotel · 14/11/2018 19:50

My partner has been working away a lot in the last 3 months. Like almost constantly away Mon to Fri. That's fine.

Today a parcel came, I get a lot from e bay and it looked like an e bay parcel... hand written address, post office packaging etc.

I opened it as i was expecting some tops I had bought from e bay. I opened it and it was my partners shirt. Washed, ironed and folded. No note but by the address it said from honey???? In pen.

I asked him why his shirt has been delivered and he said he has bought another from e bay???? Why would you. It's not even one of his nice ones.
Am I being a big mad paranoid loser?

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumshotel · 14/11/2018 21:31

Yeah, But it's not a real woman.if it was what I feared it was I would call him a lot lot more believe me. But, The woman doesn't exists as i think the sold item explains it and I asked him again and he really likes the shirt.
I think I've been paranoid. Thanks everyone for the calm responses that helped me search for the e bay stuff

OP posts:
CrispbuttyNo1 · 14/11/2018 21:31

You can see she did, it’s in her post up there .,

CrispbuttyNo1 · 14/11/2018 21:34

Blimey OP, I had to re-read your last post three times to make any sense of it but I think I know what you mean.

It isn’t really fair to use the term slag though, it’s an awful word and unfair as IF there had been another woman, unless she used rohypnol and rope, the onus is on your husband to keep his pants zipped up and his hands to himself.

LightastheBreeze · 14/11/2018 21:36

DH has lots of duplicate clothes, If he likes something and it’s comfortable he always gets two or three, if I say anything he just says but I like it

Original poster
Mumshotel · 14/11/2018 21:37

I agree. I was half joking at the stupidity of me putting two and two together and making five, think the irony was lost a bit.
Just to note I don't usually call people slags, real or not ha. And I completely would think partner was to blame and go nuts

OP posts:
ILoveHumanity · 14/11/2018 21:54

Thank god PP. I’m happy for you.

You must still feel a bit devastated at realising how vulnerable your relationship is. Could’ve ended with this incident.

Perhaps you need to do some change ? Perhaps ask DH to stop his long work away, that you need support.

Also, sometimes Mumsnet doesn’t realise that not all men are the same. Just like how women don’t like to be labelled the same. Each has their own personalities and you can’t judge from a small incident.

My DH has dyslexia. And he buys the same jumper more than once. And in different colours. Multiplied.

He eats the same things. Loves routine.

It’s not a red flag 😂 or odd, it’s just how he is

Original poster
Mumshotel · 14/11/2018 22:00

Aw thank you. You are absolutely right. Clearly with the current situation the stresses are beginning to show. I would love for him to work away less and for me to be less tired. I'll work on it.

Hope your son enjoys his jumpers 😘
You are right we all have our ways... I was freaked out and angry and I suppose that's a concequnce of not being happy with the situation and jumping to conclusions

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumshotel · 14/11/2018 22:01

Husband not son sorry

OP posts:
garethsouthgatesmrs · 14/11/2018 22:13

oh for goodness sake she was presumably joking about the scotland slag as there is no other woman so it's not a real person.

CS12345 · 14/11/2018 22:22

I'm aware that there is no other woman - it's just that the word itself is bloody awful and has no place on this site or anywhere else for that matter, unless of course you're either not very bright and/or a raging misogynist.

Yabbers · 14/11/2018 22:23

Isn’t the problem that your husband got a strange parcel and you immediately jump to him having an affair?

Tranquiltess · 15/11/2018 01:59

It isn’t really fair to use the term slag though, it’s an awful word and unfair as IF there had been another woman, unless she used rohypnol and rope, the onus is on your husband to keep his pants zipped up and his hands to himself.

Takes two to tango though doesn't it crisp? The world would be a better place if women could refrain from messing around with men who are already in a relationship. Same as if men could refrain from cheating on partners. And vice versa. Stop enabling shitty behaviour and maybe there wouldn't be as much of it going round.
Glad to hear it was all innocent OP.

CircleofWillis · 15/11/2018 02:02

Isn’t the problem that your husband got a strange parcel and you immediately jump to him having an affair?

^ This and so many people chiming in. I really don’t understand why the idea buying another version of a favourite item of clothing was so inconceivable that he must be having an affair. I do this and have friends who do this frequently. Especially when the item is from a previous season and no longer in the shops.

SmashedPatsy · 15/11/2018 02:08

I'm aware that there is no other woman - it's just that the word itself is bloody awful and has no place on this site or anywhere else for that matter, unless of course you're either not very bright and/or a raging misogynist.
People throw around 'bitch' as an insult on here in loads of threads, which isn't really any better and no one seems to bat an eyelid.

1forAll74 · 15/11/2018 02:34

I would just hang fire for a while,, you may get a cute little parcel with some boxer shorts next, so then you will be better informed.

CS12345 · 15/11/2018 07:44

I bat an eyelid at the B word too. All vile, deeply misogynistic terms and it makes my skin crawl when they're used on here.

Puggles123 · 15/11/2018 07:47

The shirt in itself isn’t that weird, the accompanying note is though, and his eBay explanation. I’ve had a hotel send me clothes I’ve left before, but they would always contact before to check I was happy and to confirm address etc.

Karwomannghia · 15/11/2018 08:16

I’ve had certain clothes I’ve wanted to buy more than once because they fit so well. I don’t think it’s that odd. eBay is a good place to go for past season clothes!

PaulMorel · 15/11/2018 08:39

hello I think you should invest in a device that will track your husband 24/7 so that you can monitor him just like what we do with my wife. She deserves my loyalty Wink

PiggeryPorcombe · 15/11/2018 08:48

But the eBay “explanation” was the truth @Puggles123. And the OP doesn’t know the sellers real name presumably as she hasn’t had access to her husbands ebay account and only the eBay name would have been shown when she searched it. My eBay name is nothing like my real name, for example. So “Honey” is presumably the sellers real name and her eBay name (that the op saw on the search) something else.

Jaxtellerswife · 15/11/2018 11:31

The simplest explanation is usually the one. He liked it and bought another one🤷🏻‍♀️.

Original poster
Mumshotel · 15/11/2018 21:16

Yeah he has two shirts the same. It's been confirmed. He bloody loves that shirt.
I was being paranoid.

OP posts:
catkind · 15/11/2018 22:45

Glad you confirmed that OP. Was a little concerned it was still going to turn out to be a case of left shirt somewhere he shouldn't have been and tried to eBay a new one in case you noticed.

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