To be upset with this dinner lady?

[KitKatCHA]

Pretty sure INBU but making sure. Today my son was a few minutes late getting to the dinner hall as he was finishing up his work with his class teacher. He got to the dinner hall and the dinner lady told him his year group had already gone in then said to him, 'are you stupid'

My son is 8 and had SN, he is incapable of lying and I believe him 100%. I have told the headteacher and have a meeting tomorrow to discuss in further detail. DS is really upset by this, he struggles with feelings of inadequacy due to his additional needs. I want to escalate this is high as possible, what should I be saying to the headteacher tomorrow?

It wouldn't be difficult to find that out, though, it wouldn't be much of a secret. The kids have probably complained to their parents about her enough times. I remember a few dragon dinner ladies from when I was in school.

I agree with wondering why this is going to Governors. We would expect an investigation to go ahead, the disciplinary policy to be followed and only at the point of needing a disciplinary panel, would the governors be asked to convene one.

I'm a bit shocked that the HT has told you that there has been other complaints raised. That seems very unprofessional and despite other complaints, the person concerned has the right to a proper investigation of your complaint rather than just assuming.

despite other complaints, the person concerned has the right to a proper investigation of your complaint rather than just assuming.

I agree. If the headteacher is going to take action without a proper investigation into what happened then that is very dodgy ground indeed. Flip this the other way round and there would be uproar

Imagine if the MDS told the headteacher that your son had called her something inappropriate, and the headteacher decided to act without an investigation because your son had a history of this sort of thing.

It wouldn't be difficult to find that out, though, it wouldn't be much of a secret.

You’ve missed the point. The OP said it was the head teacher who shared this information about a member of her staff with a parent. It’s unacceptable behaviour from the head and she should be disciplined for it.

No I do get that. We don't know exactly what was said, though, the OP might have put more into the HT said than was actually the case. It wasn't exactly a direct quote after all.

Jeez, none of us know who these people are, what was said, what's gone on before, or what the HT actually plans to do.

Saying she should be disciplined is absolutely ridiculous.

I'm gobsmacked that the head has said there's no need to check with the children who were nearby what was actually said, as she knows what this dinner lady is like.
I'm not suggesting you aren't telling the truth op, but that's just unbelievable!

I'm gobsmacked that the head has said there's no need to check with the children who were nearby what was actually said, as she knows what this dinner lady is like

I'm guessing it's been a long time coming for the dinner lady and she's had form of doing similar.

My next door neighbour who’s 9 with SN told me to fe** off you fat witch! I told his dad. The child innocently stood and denied it. He said my child doesn’t lie. Two sides to every story.

Midnightsand

I'm guessing it's been a long time coming for the dinner lady and she's had form of doing similar.

It doesn't matter the head can't over rule employment rights.

I would really appreciate an update on this if you get a chance @KitKatCHA

How is your son and has he said any more about it?

As I said earlier, the dinner lady’s personality will be known, as will the OP’s son’s.

I have heard similar from school staff (I am part of school staff).

I have also heard children stand up for themselves in situations similar ie ‘It’s rude to call someone stupid.’, and they usually get an apology because the adult has let the word slip, and many of the people who choose to work in schools are basically good eggs, but human (note I said many- not all).

I’m always impressed when children politely stand up for what’s right.

Yes, the dinner lady's personality will probably be well known Shockers. That doesn't mean that the head can blindly take the child's word without at least listening to what other children who were present have to say. If the head deems it serious enough to involve the govenor's then surely things need to be done properly.
I'm also part of school staff, albeit a lowly dinner lady and cleaner. It just sounds unprofessional to me.