CF tightarsedness

[BorisAndDoris]

Inspired by another thread, I'd love to hear your experiences of CFers being tight arses, never putting their greedy paws in their own pockets.

Mine was an ex when I was a youngster. Maybe 16? 17? I was financially independent (okay, skint on min wage but paid my way) and rented my own place.
CFBF and I were in the early stages of dating (maybe 1 or 2 months in).
I was running errands one day and needed to pick a few things up from the supermarket. He tagged along.

I went round the supermarket and he kept chucking items into the trolley. Fine with me, no point in 2 trolleys.
He put his stuff on the conveyor (sans divider!) whilst I was packing mine. I didn't notice until he said he needed to pop to the loo. He left me to pay for everything.! I was mortified and hadn't grown the lady balls yet to stand up for myself well. I paid and asked him for the money when he got back. He told me he forgot his wallet and would give it to me when he came next time. He didn't.

In fact the next time he showed up I was leaving for the cinema with my best friend. We told CFBF we already had plans. My Best friend was paying because it was his turn and I was skint (thanks to CFBF's shopping which he forgot to bring his money for again!)
I locked up the house and we all walked to the bus together. CFBF got on too as it was also his bus.

We got off in town. CFBF got off with us. Okaaaay...
We got to the cinema. CFBF still with us.
I asked if he was heading home and he said no, I'll come with you! Hmm.. whatever, I couldn't really stop him.

He walked in just ahead of us. The desk clerk had the tickets printed when we got there and best friend paid. It wasn't until we were at the concessions counter he realised he'd paid for three, not two. CFBF has asked for three tickets and not paid his one. It was so awkward that best friend couldn't bring himself to actually say anything.
I stopped answering the door to CFBF after that night and best friend and I have been laughing about him for 20 years now. I should have realised when he only turned up at mine in time for dinner and I'd feed him not wanting to be impolite!!

My DB stayed with us for a few weeks just before he got married as he and his fiancée were working in different locations. He was earning more than either of us at the time. He said he’d pay rent.
When he moved out they said they’d take us out for a steak dinner as payment. Already cheeky. We went to dinner and turns out they had a voucher and we had to eat specific things. They suggested we go elsewhere for pudding and then they made us pay.

When I was single I was friends with a couple. They lived together, I lived alone. I was 27 they were late 30s. They were always borrowing £20 for fags at the end of the month. They gave it me back after payday but I always had to ask and it was always awkward. I met someone, bf took an instant dislike to them. We were all at my house one day and they noticed my old sky box (I’d upgraded) and just took it. A few weeks later the husband asked me to lend him £100 as it was the wife’s birthday and he didn’t have any money to treat her. Also told me not to tell her. The wife got in contact to a few days later to say she needed to borrow £100 as she needed it for bills and not to tell her husband. So I was £200 out. I was too naive to realise I was being had, I think they realised that bf was onto them and they’d be cut off soon so it was their last attempt to get some cash. They didn’t pay me back for months. I chased and chased them and they stalled and stalled then said I didn’t need the money but they did! I got it off them eventually.

Ex and his teenage son moved in with me and my 2 younger kids after he had a falling out with his landlord. I said I'd handle the first month rent while he sorted out his finances from the previous flat, 6 months down the line everything was sorted but he still hadn't offered to pay his share. I approached him about it and his answer was "but I've been paying for the Virgin TV since I moved in" the nearly £100 a month subscription that I didn't want, or use because I don't need a ridiculous amount of channels. And when I finally had enough and he moved out, I found out he was in serious arrears with Virgin, under my address. Oh and the new rental flat he moved into was a fixer upper, he had a deal with the landlord that he didn't have to pay rent as he would be a live-in renovator basically. I met him out one night and he had the cheek to moan about being skint, despite the fact he hadn't paid a penny of rent for nearly a year.

@IchWill oh! And there I was thinking I was missing some mum term :')

I knew a woman who bought a run down cottage and then went through a succession of boyfriends lovely guys but each either worked in the building trade or had the particular skill she needed for the next stage of the project. She would make out that she was trying to do the renovation by herself but needed some tuition. Playing dumb meant they all took over doing whatever she needed. Quite often she let them pay for her on nights out as well. Obviously they were dumped when another trade was required.

Her renovation project cost her a fraction of the real cost. None of the men saw her after the project as she'd set her sights on climbing the social scale. I was always gobsmacked at the unashamed CFery.

My brother Who is great fun but very very unlikely to put his hand in his pocket.

He outdid himself a few years ago. He was a recent graduate, I was still at uni. He had to do some work experience near me, asked to stay on the couch. No issue, and I wouldn't ask for/expect money for this.

On his last evening, he suggested that we go out so he could say thanks for letting him stay. So out we went, and much to my astonishment he was super generous... Bought the first few rounds, I had to push to buy him one back etc etc. New leaf turned! I was amazed. Next day, off he went, with far fonder farewells from me than I would have expected at the beginning of the visit.

A couple of days later, I had the unpleasant task of reminding my flatmate that she owed me £50 from an electricity bill and had promised to pay by the end of the month. In total astonishment, she said to me. "But... But... I gave that to your brother to give to you!!"

Sure enough, he had used that money to 'take me out' and probably made a £20 profit too.

I was 19 and doing unpaid work experience in London for a theatre company. I had one person that I knew who was in London and we arranged to meet up. He was a financial advisor for big posh bank, (there’s the first clue). I had been given theatre tickets for Miss Saigon as a thank you and I asked my friend if he’d like to join me. We met at theatre and I offered him a drink which he accepted. The barman told us we could pre order our interval drinks which we did but CF had forgotten to get cash out. I paid for all drinks. At the interval he was on his mobile and after the theatre he suggested a pub. I saw a cash machine and told him didn’t you say you needed cash out? He took me to his local in a part of town I didn’t know. When it was time for me to leave He said something along the lines of cheerio thanks for a nice night! I was lost and skint and raging!!!
I said to him “I can’t believe you wouldn’t even offer to walk me to my train”!!! “What would my parents say?” He walked me to my train and I’ve ignored him since. He’s a vaguely famous singer/songwriter now!

I had a friend who use to come for dinner every Friday when we lived away on uni placement. We used to go to supermarket on way home and because she was coming to mine it was asssumed I’d just pay. I was too nice to say no :( I realised at the end of the year I’d basically paid for her Friday night food for the whole year. Also had a another friend who would ask you to get a sandwich for her from the ‘sandwich’ van that came round at work. And just asked different people every day. Or ask you to grab something from the shop for her. She always said she had ‘no cash’.
Another friend came on nights out and let people buy rounds until it came to hers then would announce she had no money. She also used to invite me to lunch with her son and wait until we got to the till at say m and s (putting it all on one tray, cos you know she had to ‘hold him’ then say she had forgotten her purse, presumably knowing I’d pay rather than put the food back! No longer friends with any of these people!

See i dont understand how you let people fleece you like that.Once or twice maybe but after that no way.

I would help people genuinely in need but most of the people in this thread keep letting the CFs use them.

I made friends with neighbour and we ended up going out for lunch one day. When the bill came, I got out my purse and put half down. She picked the bill up, saw that my cake had cost 10p more than hers, so she deducted 10p, halved the bill, then I put the extra 10p in.

Another one..... a good friend had a new boyfriend and because she had had a rough time of it for a bit we were thrilled for her. So DH said we would take them both out to dinner. So we went off, had a lovely night drinking loads, and eating loads and had a great time. Bill came and DH paid. As we got up to leave, her new BF picked up the receipt and put it in his pocket saying; 'Oh I'll take this. I'll tell my work I took new clients out for dinner and can claim it on expenses'.

We were gobsmacked. Their relationship did not last thankfully. Could not believe someone would be happy to be taken out for dinner and then claim back some £200 to pocket for themselves.

We used to go for day trips which a couple, for which we provided the picnics and then usually went back to ours for an evening meal. Whenever we stopped en route they always managed to hang back whilst we chose, then once we were at the till, said, 'Oh, damn the diet, let's splurge!' loaded their plates and pushed them along with ours so we always paid. One day we held back so they chose first. She turned to him, whispered, 'Who's paying? Is it us?' He nodded. 'Oh I'm not that hungry today, I don't think we'll bother.' A plain roll each and two glasses of water was their total indulgence.

I lived with my ex for two years, we could both drive but I was the only one with a car. I paid all tax, MOT, fuel and insurance on it and every other weekend we (I) would drive halfway across the country to visit his parents and he refused to chip in for petrol. We had just graduated and he had landed a fantastic job whereas my salary was pretty low in comparison. On top of this I had to drop him a football after work twice a week. I didn't mind so much at the time as he paid for the Sky TV package in our flat....u til he went away for work for a couple of months and cancelled the sky package as he didn't want me using it while he was away!

I broke up with him when he got back.

'...for day trips with a couple'. Sorry.

Another one was when I broke up with my ex boyfriend he got in touch to say he wouldn’t be paying me back my £900 i’d leant him because he did a lot of work on my car and he really should be sending me an invoice! He enjoyed fixing and tinkering with cars - it wasn’t as if he was a mechanic I had booked! Plus we’d been in a relationship. Funny because one of the reasons I’d finished with him was his tight fisted ness....

When I was pregnant with Ds1 I was having a rough time being ill my ex being abusive etc my bf suggested a week in the sun ☀️ to cheer me, all sounded lovely. So I gave her my CC details for my half etc as she was booking it but agreed no more than £400 limit. Last minute it was, so got there etc and beautiful resort hotel couldn’t believe the deal she had got, wow what a friend! Tried to use my cc out there declined! Rang up bank had exceeded my limit apparently omg was so worried had had fraud on the card etc in tears! BF asks what’s wrong I explain she says oh I need to pay you back don’t I! She had booked the holiday for both of us on my cc not telling me...then said it would have to be instalments as she’s broke atm...cfbf...I asked her parents for it when we got back...

I love these ,
My mil and fil have a few cf friends but they don't seam to mind ( too nice ) I know of 1 cf forgets his wallet when going to pub so everyone buys him a drink and he sometimes invited to meal doesn't eat but will have a drink paid by fil but doesn't offer to pay a round .
Also another cf of in-laws they have arrangement take in turns to pay for meal with in-laws . On this occasion we went as fil bday . Fil cf had bottles of wine starters main course , deserts not particularly expensive restaurant but bill was £300 for 8 adults and 2 kids . Fil & mil said split between 3 so me & dh paid £100 for 4 meals including 2 kids and a couple of beers probably no more than £50 if we paid are own . Sil paid £100 for 2 adults meals a couple of beers and a starter. Fil paid £100 for 4 meals 3 courses + a lot of drink . I don't mind paying more than the bill but it was only afterwards I realised we were never going to benefit this arrangement of getting a meal paid back and I had subsided 3 courses including a few bottles of wine between 5 people . 2 of my kids had soft drinks including me cause I drive and the kids meals were free

One time I booked a airport taxi for family holiday couple of weeks before .
All booked ok ,
A few days before we traveled cf taxi company range me with no shame asking if could share mini bus with us . I was a bit put out and unsure how would fit 4 of us including suitcases & child's trolley plus random strangers and there luggage . Anyway I paused said I wasn't sure really hoped it was obvious I didn't want to . I said ok begrudgingly and cf was like oh great thanks so much , I was not happy so I said well will I get a discount? Cf did not expect me to ask so sounded shocked but went ok and hung up .
I thought about it and rang back but it went to voicemail so left a message saying I had made arrangements with another taxi company as I didn't want to share with random strangers and would not be using her services again .

@LoudJazzHands Glad it got sorted.

Sil was living overseas as H was in army. Asked my OH to order and pay for tickets to 2 x very expensive gigs for her which he agreed as long as got the money back ASAP as he had just lost his job and it was on his CC. This was around November. Message from sil to him just before Christmas asking to defer payment until January as they were really skint, didn't know how they would make it through Christmas, flights home so expensive (heavily subsidised by the army) etc etc. OH agreed (much to my disdain as I sensed the CFery afoot) that he would wait until January. Christmas Day arrives and she and her H are opening more presents between them than the most spoilt child ever. We are talking designer clothes, bags, perfumes, watches etc. I was through the whole proceedings. Lots of other shit went on but not for this thread. Anyway, eventually CF sil paid money for tickets back around March after much pestering more expensive spends and breaks away and sulky faces galore from her. Karma presented herself when CF sil sold the tickets online before receiving them as had changed her mind about going and it turned out OH had ordered off a scam website in all innocence so tickets never arrived. She got negative feedback on the website, lost her money and due to a whole host of other CFery that could fill another thread we have been NC for 7 years.

I agree dust. I mean, really? 'Look, I can't afford to buy your drinks, you need to pay up.' Or the people who duck off to the loo when it's their turn. That's the oldest trick in the book! You just wait till they come out. 'We waited. It's your turn to buy.' It's never the poorest person, CFers are usually the opposite.

I had a friend a couple of years ago who called herself my ‘best friend’ I bought a dress from new look which she really liked and said it looked lovely on.
So we went round to hers and I stayed he night..... pre DD. In the morning I woke up and only when I got home I realised I had left the dress at hers.
I called her in the week and asked her to return the dress to me via post as she lives a fair drive away. I didn’t get a reply after asking her numerous times .... I got a really horrible message back from her saying she had posted the dress.
It arrived back to me screwed up in a ball with a massive hole in the side so it made the lovely dress unwearable.
And the worst part of it I continued to be her friend and I never mentioned it to her!!!

Was out with friend (who had CF form) and her son, he returned from bar saying they didn't take cards and we'd have to go somewhere else, I wanted to stay, so handed over a tenner and said get yrself a pint , he returned with 2 pints for himself, when I asked was there any change he fished out 20p

I have a family member - actually technically an uncle who is only 4 years older than me - who is the biggest CF (cheeky fucker for those asking!) going. He is late 30’s, single, successful job, has shares in bitcoin that are now worth over 250k(!!!) and he is literally the tightest person I have EVER met. When we all meet up for drinks you would never ever catch him offering a round. I’m not a huge earner but I always offer drinks and am more than happy to buy rounds - several times we have been out when I ask what everyone’s having (expecting as normally people would to say beer/wine/spirit and mixer) he has genuinely got expensive cocktail menus out and said “oh a mojito for me please!” He absolutely isn’t just joking and wouldn’t order this if he was paying himself. One of those people when awkwardly waits for
Someone to go to the bar. At family meals out he has said to me in the past “do you think the bill will be split at the end because that affects whether I’m going to order x,y or z”

Also regularly forgets his wallet at things. So much so that it has just become painfully embarrassing!

A couple of months ago it was a colleague's 60th birthday. We're a tight knit company so we're all pretty close.

He worked on a different floor to us so we (foolishly) assumed his direct colleagues would be organising a collection. They didn't. I felt so bad for the poor guy that I spent the few days in the run up to his birthday, desperately trying to get a collection together from everyone to get him a gift (as is normally done for everyone's birthday). Everyone kept palming me off so I ended up with grand total of zero! Fair enough if people couldn't afford it at the time. Fine, but....

I went ahead and got him a card, banner, balloon and a few gifts like chocolates, and a few funny bits and pieces, spent about £30. Again this is the same as everyone else gets. I was happy to do that for him, I couldn't see him spend his milestone birthday at work with no surprise! I hid the gifts in a cupboard and planned to set them up on his desk the morning of. But when he arrived at work early, the colleagues on his floor presented the gifts to him and took all the credit!! Didn't even phone up to let me know he was in!!

Name changed because this is very outing.

Oldest and closest friend. We both had children when we were young - 18/19. After having my DS, I went back to work (due in no small part to my lovely DM looking after DS for me free of charge and this saving me childminding fees). BF had her DS 13 months later, didn't return to work as she couldn't afford childcare. She struggled with being a single SAHM so I often had her DS over the weekend to give her a break. Also bought her nappies/wipes/baby milk/food essentials every week as she struggled to make ends meet. She didn't ask for this, I hasten to add - I did it to help out. When I was 24 I received an inheritance of £10,000. By this time, the DS's were at school so BF returned to work. She had gotten into rent arrears due to waiting for wages and paying childminders fees so I cleared those for her (£800) and she said she would pay me back in installments. I offered to pay for a holiday for me, her and our DS's from my inheritance but asked her to save her own spending money. I paid for the holiday, half-board, and a week before we were due to go, she told me she hadn't been able to save any money but would pay me back for any food etc. So I paid for all food/excursions and bought BF's DS some souvenirs. She never again mentioned paying me back. Fast forward 10 years, I was now a single mum of 3, working part time and struggling for money and she was now very well-paid. My lovely mum died. I was heartbroken and struggling to pay for the funeral from the little savings I had. I asked BF if she would loan me the last £500. She said she didn't think it was a good idea to mix money and friendship. She came to my mum's funeral, got drunk at the wake and made a pass at my cousins DP.
We are no longer friends.