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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ban mobiles around my baby

146 replies

Fridakahlofan · 12/11/2018 20:39

Yesterday I asked my husband to watch our 4 month old for an hour and came in to find her mesmerised watching a youtube video of some fish he had propped in front of her. I felt annoyed - like she had been tainted but agree it totally shut her up and gave him some peace.

I'm no angel and use my phone around her occasionally but I am wondering if I should change my ways.

Does anyone out there manage to have a mobile phone they barely use? Tips please! and how can I convince my husband to cut down usage too.

OP posts:
RedDeadRoach · 12/11/2018 20:40

It won't kill her. She might find the stimulation interesting.

Girlsnightin · 12/11/2018 20:41

Lead by example!

If he sees you doing it, then of course he will do it too.

Explain you've decided to stop using them with her and talk through all the engaging things you can do with her.

ElideLochan · 12/11/2018 20:43

Tainted??

Hmm ok then

SoyDora · 12/11/2018 20:43

Tainted?

Original poster
Fridakahlofan · 12/11/2018 20:44

Tainted does sound a bit severe! I suppose I just mean a bit sad as it was her first ever time properly engaging with a screen!

OP posts:
PickAChew · 12/11/2018 20:44

That would be an interesting conversation with a 4mo, girlsnightin

mrbob · 12/11/2018 20:45

My friend got her husband to set a password on restrictions so she can’t access anything but phone/text/emails because she felt she was spending too much time on her phone when her kids were small. Sending a couple of texts while caring for a child is different to sticking them in front of YouTube or the tv at 4 months. They don’t need that much stimulation at 4 months. Their hand or a small toy or the living room light is pretty exciting

Caprisunorange · 12/11/2018 20:46

You can’t ban stuff! It’s his baby too, he can entertain her how he likes

Mildpanic · 12/11/2018 20:46

Oh my days. You need to relax. There will be greater struggles. Sorry if not helpful. Mumof 3 inc teens.

PurpleDaisies · 12/11/2018 20:47

Is she not your husband’s baby as well? How would he respond to a “ban”?

JustBecauseYouAreUniqueDoesNot · 12/11/2018 20:48

We have a small wooden box. When I am with the baby I put the phone in the box (so the theory goes).

I also downloaded an app which tracks my usage to cut down more generally. Good luck!

EdWinchester · 12/11/2018 20:48

PFB perhaps?

Original poster
Fridakahlofan · 12/11/2018 20:50

I think he would support no screens around her if he thought it was in her best interests.

But maybe they aren't so bad. I should look into the science

OP posts:
londonrach · 12/11/2018 20:50

Ott. He wasnt showing her porn. If you worrying now... wait till toddler stage. Ban peppa for starters.

Barbie222 · 12/11/2018 20:53

4 month old, no I'd be with you. No need.

Ohyesiam · 12/11/2018 20:56

You could be right, we’ve got no idea what WiFi and phone signal and screens do to us. Maybe nothing, maybe it will turn out to be as dangerous as smoking, we just don’t know.

Original poster
Fridakahlofan · 12/11/2018 21:01

Thank you there are useful points here.

I don't think I'm being OTT - I am not angry or hugely upset! I just want to think about next steps before either of us fall into bad habits.

My main takeaway so far is that it is only fair to lead by example so tomorrow I'll try to only look at my phone while she is asleep and see how I get on. I barely use social media so it is more mindless internet scrolling (like now ahem) that I need to cut down on!

My husband has work emails so more difficult for him but he is barely home while she is awake so hopefully he won't be difficult to persuade.

I'm not saying I never want her to see a screen - I just don't want it to be excessive or careless I guess

OP posts:
WhyAmISoCold · 12/11/2018 21:05

Fgs, why are people saying it's fine. It's a 4 month old baby! It doesn't need to plonked in front of a screen. How about he does some actual parenting. My DH is like this and it drives me mad. If I do bedtime it is reading DC a story, his idea is sticking a YouTube video on. Lazy 'parenting'.

Girlsnightin · 12/11/2018 21:19

PickAChew I meant explain to the husband not the baby!

The baby needs human interaction, not screen time!

ImpendingDisaster · 12/11/2018 21:21

I wouldn't be very impressed at 4 months, either.

ImpendingDisaster · 12/11/2018 21:22

But what do you mean by 'using' your phone around her? To amuse her?

masterandmargarita · 12/11/2018 21:23

Not fine in the least. Screens are incredibly addictive. I wouldn't give such a young child one.

borntobequiet · 12/11/2018 21:23

I thought you meant those things you hang from the ceiling to entertain babies.

cheminotte · 12/11/2018 21:24

Yanbu.
I thought you were going to say you were worried about radiation or something!
Some countries recommend no screens AT ALL before 2. Babies need you to hold them, talk to them, sing to them. They don’t need screens.

DistanceCall · 12/11/2018 21:25

Children need stimulation. A young baby will find moving images absolutely fascinating. As long as you don't leave the mobile phone to do all the nannying, you should be fine Grin.

(And FGS, at 4 months old, you actually do plonk babies somewhere. They can't sit up yet, FFS. It doesn't really matter whether it's in front of a window or in front of a TV or in front of a picture.)